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General Parenting
frazzled and sad
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 492804" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Welcome. I can feel your heartbreak in your posts. I am so sorry it has come to this. I have a son who did a LOT of what you are talking about. Including telling a TON of lies about how we abused him to anyone with an ear. I know it feels wrong, but sometimes you must let them go to get them back. My son ended up living with my parents who are about 20 mn from us when he was 14. They were positive that I was the cause of ALL of his problems until he backed my mother up to a wall threatening her. She didn't do anything that I didn't do when he did that to me, and suddenly it wasn't "all" my fault that he was so abusive and violent. </p><p></p><p>It took a lot of time and more heartbreak, but he did turn everything around. There CAN be a good outcome but it won't be fast. I NEVER dreamed my son would have the same job for four years, tons of actual friends, and be a loving son and big brother but that is where we are now. He is in college locally, is very loving, and works hard - ALL major changes from the grave or prison cell that we all saw in his future if he didn't change things. The big reason we got him out of the house is because we were afraid he was going to kill me or our daughter or that I would have to kill him to defend myself. NONE of that seemed like a good outcome and thankfully we prevented it.</p><p></p><p>There is a link in my signature that will take you to a thread that has an outline of a Parent Report. It is a way to organize ALL the info about your daughter. I strongly recommend you create one - it is one of the most powerful tools you can have to get the right help for her.</p><p></p><p>(((((hugs)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 492804, member: 1233"] Welcome. I can feel your heartbreak in your posts. I am so sorry it has come to this. I have a son who did a LOT of what you are talking about. Including telling a TON of lies about how we abused him to anyone with an ear. I know it feels wrong, but sometimes you must let them go to get them back. My son ended up living with my parents who are about 20 mn from us when he was 14. They were positive that I was the cause of ALL of his problems until he backed my mother up to a wall threatening her. She didn't do anything that I didn't do when he did that to me, and suddenly it wasn't "all" my fault that he was so abusive and violent. It took a lot of time and more heartbreak, but he did turn everything around. There CAN be a good outcome but it won't be fast. I NEVER dreamed my son would have the same job for four years, tons of actual friends, and be a loving son and big brother but that is where we are now. He is in college locally, is very loving, and works hard - ALL major changes from the grave or prison cell that we all saw in his future if he didn't change things. The big reason we got him out of the house is because we were afraid he was going to kill me or our daughter or that I would have to kill him to defend myself. NONE of that seemed like a good outcome and thankfully we prevented it. There is a link in my signature that will take you to a thread that has an outline of a Parent Report. It is a way to organize ALL the info about your daughter. I strongly recommend you create one - it is one of the most powerful tools you can have to get the right help for her. (((((hugs))))) [/QUOTE]
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