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General Parenting
Friend won't lay off MY difficult child's issues
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 315869" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>What she is doing is NOT friendship. She is using your child's problems, your family problems, to make herself feel better about her life. </p><p></p><p>All the "if you would just let me I could fix him in a week" stuff is a way of making herself sound like a better person and a better parent. She compares your child's issues to her kids' issues and in her mind her kids are "better", so she MUST be the better parent.</p><p></p><p>I HAVE had friends like this. It is only after you kick them to the curb or put strong and specific limits into place that you really SEE the effect her "support" has on your family. It takes so much mental and emotional energy to deal with her "you are not good enough, you are not a good parent" garbage.</p><p></p><p>After a friend like that is out of your day to day life you can see new ways to handle things, ways this person could not DREAM of to help.</p><p></p><p>I think it is sad some parents need to do this to make themselves feel better about their lives. After all, parenting is NOT an Olympic sport. You don't get a gold medal if a child behaves better for you than for someone else.</p><p></p><p>Many hugs, sorry she is so amazingly unsupportive. </p><p></p><p>I do have one question, more one for you to think about than to answer to me or anyone else. </p><p></p><p>If you do not admire her parenting and/or her life, do not respect her parenting and/or her life, then why is she a friend? Is she truly someone that you want to use your limited resources (emotional and mental, as well as other resources) interacting with?</p><p></p><p>Again, I don't need an answer. There probably isn't a clear cut one. It is just something to think about.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 315869, member: 1233"] What she is doing is NOT friendship. She is using your child's problems, your family problems, to make herself feel better about her life. All the "if you would just let me I could fix him in a week" stuff is a way of making herself sound like a better person and a better parent. She compares your child's issues to her kids' issues and in her mind her kids are "better", so she MUST be the better parent. I HAVE had friends like this. It is only after you kick them to the curb or put strong and specific limits into place that you really SEE the effect her "support" has on your family. It takes so much mental and emotional energy to deal with her "you are not good enough, you are not a good parent" garbage. After a friend like that is out of your day to day life you can see new ways to handle things, ways this person could not DREAM of to help. I think it is sad some parents need to do this to make themselves feel better about their lives. After all, parenting is NOT an Olympic sport. You don't get a gold medal if a child behaves better for you than for someone else. Many hugs, sorry she is so amazingly unsupportive. I do have one question, more one for you to think about than to answer to me or anyone else. If you do not admire her parenting and/or her life, do not respect her parenting and/or her life, then why is she a friend? Is she truly someone that you want to use your limited resources (emotional and mental, as well as other resources) interacting with? Again, I don't need an answer. There probably isn't a clear cut one. It is just something to think about. [/QUOTE]
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Friend won't lay off MY difficult child's issues
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