Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Friend won't lay off MY difficult child's issues
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Thinking Outside the Box" data-source="post: 316253" data-attributes="member: 8210"><p><u>ML</u>- You said exactly what my mom says to me all the time...that I need to find people of like mind. She is always asking where I find these people and the truth is, I didn't find them, they were inherited so to speak from another friend, etc. And yes, like you, I am in the role of a rescuer! I hope it works out with your friend as well. Thank u.</p><p><u>Mattsmom277</u>-Yes, my friend and I are VERY different-almost in every way, really and much of the time her drama is very negative and I find that it greatly impacts my mood at times and I hate that. I plan on setting boundaries with her at some point in the week and I guess that alone could determine our friendship. If I can't make her feel good about her life, she may no longer feel the need to be friends. T</p><p><u>Marguerite-</u>You brought up a few things I hadn't thought of. I too, can predict much of the time when she will call and if she can't get ahold of me she will just go down the line. If I don't answer the phone after a few hours, she actually calls the only other friend I have and asks her if shes heard from me because she is worried about me because of the difficult situation our family is in with our difficult child 2 issues. She very much uses difficult child 2 as a way to find out what I am doing when not talking to her. I am sorry to hear that the friendship you had with a particular friend was a difficult one.</p><p>You are right when you say that children can behave like their parents. Her daughter is very much like her and I do have a couple issues with her. But overall, she is a genuinely nice girl. My difficult child 2 is good for her in ways that I can't really explain. He pushes her outside of her tiny bubble. He would do anything for her within his capabilities, of course. They do have a give and take friendship at this point. She has a low self-esteem and he genuinely and freely compliments her which puts a smile on her face. Maybe as they get older, things will be different, but for now, it seems to be a pretty even friendship.</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for saying shallow friendships are ok. I have always felt it was if I didn't expect it to be more, but again, I always second guess if the way I feel is a sane way of thinking. I admit I have to work at friendship because I never had long-term friendships. My step-father was in the military and we moved ALOT, so we'd make awesome friends and then lose them. I never felt the need once I got older to have close friends when my father finally settled in one place. My friendship with this person started easy enough and remained that way until lately. Her needs seem to be greater, advice seems to constant and I guess I am just struggling with, as you said, someone being so thoroughly in my space. I will try boundaries first, but as I wrote to mattsmom277, I think she will end the friendship before too long when she doesn't get what she needs from me.</p><p> </p><p>-Thk u and good night all. Melinda</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Thinking Outside the Box, post: 316253, member: 8210"] [U]ML[/U]- You said exactly what my mom says to me all the time...that I need to find people of like mind. She is always asking where I find these people and the truth is, I didn't find them, they were inherited so to speak from another friend, etc. And yes, like you, I am in the role of a rescuer! I hope it works out with your friend as well. Thank u. [U]Mattsmom277[/U]-Yes, my friend and I are VERY different-almost in every way, really and much of the time her drama is very negative and I find that it greatly impacts my mood at times and I hate that. I plan on setting boundaries with her at some point in the week and I guess that alone could determine our friendship. If I can't make her feel good about her life, she may no longer feel the need to be friends. T [U]Marguerite-[/U]You brought up a few things I hadn't thought of. I too, can predict much of the time when she will call and if she can't get ahold of me she will just go down the line. If I don't answer the phone after a few hours, she actually calls the only other friend I have and asks her if shes heard from me because she is worried about me because of the difficult situation our family is in with our difficult child 2 issues. She very much uses difficult child 2 as a way to find out what I am doing when not talking to her. I am sorry to hear that the friendship you had with a particular friend was a difficult one. You are right when you say that children can behave like their parents. Her daughter is very much like her and I do have a couple issues with her. But overall, she is a genuinely nice girl. My difficult child 2 is good for her in ways that I can't really explain. He pushes her outside of her tiny bubble. He would do anything for her within his capabilities, of course. They do have a give and take friendship at this point. She has a low self-esteem and he genuinely and freely compliments her which puts a smile on her face. Maybe as they get older, things will be different, but for now, it seems to be a pretty even friendship. Thank you for saying shallow friendships are ok. I have always felt it was if I didn't expect it to be more, but again, I always second guess if the way I feel is a sane way of thinking. I admit I have to work at friendship because I never had long-term friendships. My step-father was in the military and we moved ALOT, so we'd make awesome friends and then lose them. I never felt the need once I got older to have close friends when my father finally settled in one place. My friendship with this person started easy enough and remained that way until lately. Her needs seem to be greater, advice seems to constant and I guess I am just struggling with, as you said, someone being so thoroughly in my space. I will try boundaries first, but as I wrote to mattsmom277, I think she will end the friendship before too long when she doesn't get what she needs from me. -Thk u and good night all. Melinda [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Friend won't lay off MY difficult child's issues
Top