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"Functional IQ" question
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 107049" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'd be pulling him out, talented or not. The fastest way to lose the love for a sport (or other activity) is to have to deal with someone who doesn't 'get' how to communicate with you.</p><p></p><p>I started difficult child 1 in karate when he was about 8. He had wanted to try it, it was a mixed class of adults and children (mostly adults) and we had another friend from church in the class who understood difficult child 1.</p><p></p><p>I explained everything to the karate teacher, who nodded and said, "I understand."</p><p></p><p>Then the karate teacher made it clear to difficult child 1, behind my back, that because of the necessary discipline of karate he was not permitted to discuss anything that happened in class with any outsider. He then proceeded to 'discipline' difficult child 1 for inattention, for not being able to remember a sequence of instructions, for being clumsy - for all sorts of things. And difficult child 1 was not able to tell us how unhappy he was. He wasn't doing karate, he was spending all the lessons doing roll-outs and push-ups as punishment.</p><p>Finally our friend from church told us to pull difficult child 1 out of the class (our friend also felt bound by this "secret men's business" nonsense). He told us that the karate teacher was not following our requests for managing difficult child 1 and had said that all difficult child 1 needed was some discipline and to get away from his over-protective and wishy-washy parents long enough to learn some structure and routine.</p><p></p><p>We pulled difficult child 1 out, even though it meant forfeiting the term fees. But it probably wouldn't have mattered - the teacher was himself not coping with life, he had a breakdown so soon after this that I don't think he ever had the chance to notice difficult child 1's absence. The classes stopped and were never recommenced.</p><p>But that is a separate issue.</p><p></p><p>What I'm saying - you could talk to the teacher and STILL find things are no better. Or they could be worse. </p><p></p><p>difficult child wants to be involved and do something he is good at and enjoys, but he won't enjoy it for long if he's treated incorrectly. The other kids will also dislike either the class or difficult child, if he seems to be constantly disruptive or the focus of the teacher's hostility. So I would strongly suggest pulling him out, in order to preserve his interest and also maybe help teach difficult child what the class teacher is trying to teach him - you need to be able to stay focussed and on task, if you want to do this class.</p><p></p><p>He can always pick it up next semester, next year or somewhere else with a more patient teacher.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 107049, member: 1991"] I'd be pulling him out, talented or not. The fastest way to lose the love for a sport (or other activity) is to have to deal with someone who doesn't 'get' how to communicate with you. I started difficult child 1 in karate when he was about 8. He had wanted to try it, it was a mixed class of adults and children (mostly adults) and we had another friend from church in the class who understood difficult child 1. I explained everything to the karate teacher, who nodded and said, "I understand." Then the karate teacher made it clear to difficult child 1, behind my back, that because of the necessary discipline of karate he was not permitted to discuss anything that happened in class with any outsider. He then proceeded to 'discipline' difficult child 1 for inattention, for not being able to remember a sequence of instructions, for being clumsy - for all sorts of things. And difficult child 1 was not able to tell us how unhappy he was. He wasn't doing karate, he was spending all the lessons doing roll-outs and push-ups as punishment. Finally our friend from church told us to pull difficult child 1 out of the class (our friend also felt bound by this "secret men's business" nonsense). He told us that the karate teacher was not following our requests for managing difficult child 1 and had said that all difficult child 1 needed was some discipline and to get away from his over-protective and wishy-washy parents long enough to learn some structure and routine. We pulled difficult child 1 out, even though it meant forfeiting the term fees. But it probably wouldn't have mattered - the teacher was himself not coping with life, he had a breakdown so soon after this that I don't think he ever had the chance to notice difficult child 1's absence. The classes stopped and were never recommenced. But that is a separate issue. What I'm saying - you could talk to the teacher and STILL find things are no better. Or they could be worse. difficult child wants to be involved and do something he is good at and enjoys, but he won't enjoy it for long if he's treated incorrectly. The other kids will also dislike either the class or difficult child, if he seems to be constantly disruptive or the focus of the teacher's hostility. So I would strongly suggest pulling him out, in order to preserve his interest and also maybe help teach difficult child what the class teacher is trying to teach him - you need to be able to stay focussed and on task, if you want to do this class. He can always pick it up next semester, next year or somewhere else with a more patient teacher. Marg [/QUOTE]
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