Geezloueez--Intro Post

[SRL]

(I'm copying your post to a thread of your own--it helps reponders keep the kiddos straight!)

Hi,
I'm new to this post. I found it because I am starting to suspect there is something more going on with my 3-yr-old son.
Your description sounds alot like mine so I'm wondering if we should get an evaluation as well.
Starting at about 18 months, my son became quite a handful. I have a 6-yr-old daughter who is sweet as can be so everyone kept talking about how different boys and girls are. I believe they are but maybe there is more to his behavior than just being a boy.
He has always been very demanding of attention. My husband stays home with him and is exhausted by the end of the day.
Most of the time he can keep himself occupied, playing and getting into things. This is normal to me. But, especially when tired, he will become extremely defiant when told no or asked/told to do something. He will hit me, not hard, more like a smack, even though told repeatedly and forcefully not to do this. I have to practically wrestle him to brush his teeth because he cannot stand the taste of the toothpaste. He will not take oral medication, we have to try to hide it and are usually not successful because he can tell. For several months, he would scream incessantly in the bathtub while getting a bath. I think he didnt like the smell of the soap. That has finally stopped and I can bathe him quietly now. He can throw terrible tantrums, screaming for over 15 minutes sometimes. He will not look at me when in one of his moods. But when he is happy, he is very loving, funny and very bright.
I, too, have scanned the disorder list looking for something that fits and either I am being overreactive and there isnt anything, or I havent found the one yet, or it is a combination of things that I am not qualified to diagnose.
Since I am new here, I havent scanned all of the posts but this forum seemed like a good place to start.
Does this sound familiar?

 

[SRL]

Hi Geezloueez. Yup, reading through posts on this board is a good place to start. Check out the recommendations, see if anything is sounding familiar to you. Read the thread on the Explosive Child at the top of this board. Some of these behaviors do sound like typical three year old feisty behaviors but I usually trust Mom's instincts if she feels there is reason to look deeper.

Having trouble with brushing teeth and baths can be pretty normal during those early preschooler years but have a look around this article about sensory issues and see if anything else rings a bell. It will also give you some ideas of things to watch for in this area.
http://www.tsbvi.edu/seehear/fall97/sensory.htm

Other than behavioral problems, have you seen any developmental differences (ie speech delays or differences, cognitively bright or on the slow side, etc?

What does the family mental health picture look like?

 

[geezloueez]

Thank you for taking time to respond to me.

I read the sensory integrative dysfunction article you recommended and there could be something to that. It is mostly taste, a little bit of smell and a little bit of touch, as in he doesnt like to wear clothes or shoes. He says they are too small when really they aren't. I will need to investigate that further. Especially when they talked about cutting nails and hair. That also is an issue for us.

As far as I know, the only family disorders are anxiety and depression which manifest periodically in our immediate family. However, I am sensitive to smells also. And I remember as a child not wanting to wear certain clothes because they were 'itchy'. I still have to cut out all the tags. So maybe he gets it from me.

I discussed the situation with my husband last night. My son is at a preschool 2 days a week and other than a little crying when being dropped off, usually has great days there. So, we are wondering what are we doing wrong? We are going to try to introduce some structure to his daily routine when he is not in preschool. I think that could help ease some tension when he has a better idea of what to expect during the course of a day.

That sounds so simple, right?

Other than behavior, I havent noticed any differences really. He is pretty clever and adventurous. He speaks well. He will sit quietly and do an activity and other times be very physically active.
I understand most kids don't like to be told what to do. It just seems like his reactions are so over-the-top that it makes me wonder. Sometimes when I tell people, I think they think I am exaggerating. Even family. Because they don't see it all the time, I think they find it hard to believe.

Maybe it is just a toddler thing that he will grow out of.

 

[SRL]

That finding clothes too small (or too large) often goes along with the sensory area as well.

Pick up a copy of the book "The Out of Sync Child" by Carol Kranowitz. I'm like you that I hate tags and am somewhat tactile sensitive. I can smell odors a mile off that others except difficult child don't detect. The difference between myself who has very definnite sensory issues is that they reached the point where it was causing him functioning problems. Read the book and even if you don't think he's full blown out diagnostical case you still can probably pick up some helpful tips.

Keep reading and keep observing.