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Substance Abuse
Gentle push or swift kick!
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<blockquote data-quote="4PawsSake" data-source="post: 627266" data-attributes="member: 17993"><p>I should point out that (and I'm really not defending him, he's still a PITA), he's been telling me for months now, that he's an adult now and he doesn't want my help or input. I'M the one that offers help, food, phone calls, asking everyone if they've seen him lately... just to check and make sure he's okay. Yeah, it's controlling on my part Since he's under 18, every time he gets in trouble, the police bring the notice to parent to me (makes it really hard to not get involved), I'm also required as a mom *MY own decision* to be in court to support him even though he never wanted me to be there. Yet, he still is under 18 and in MY opinion, it's right for me to be involved. I did tell him that once he's 18, I won't be involved in his legal battles, he's on his own when it comes to that. He's been requesting that the police not bring those notices to me, every time I'm in the courtroom, he wonders why I'm there.</p><p>More and more, I'm realizing it's not so much HIM that is my problem...it's ME! I'm not beating myself up for that...all of my IMPOSING was well meaning and from the heart but not positively effective.</p><p>I was like this with my daughter too, once she turned 18, she moved out on her own. She loves her space, she works full time and is fairly independent. I was very good about her being on her own, I encouraged it. I know I raised them right.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Wendy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="4PawsSake, post: 627266, member: 17993"] I should point out that (and I'm really not defending him, he's still a PITA), he's been telling me for months now, that he's an adult now and he doesn't want my help or input. I'M the one that offers help, food, phone calls, asking everyone if they've seen him lately... just to check and make sure he's okay. Yeah, it's controlling on my part Since he's under 18, every time he gets in trouble, the police bring the notice to parent to me (makes it really hard to not get involved), I'm also required as a mom *MY own decision* to be in court to support him even though he never wanted me to be there. Yet, he still is under 18 and in MY opinion, it's right for me to be involved. I did tell him that once he's 18, I won't be involved in his legal battles, he's on his own when it comes to that. He's been requesting that the police not bring those notices to me, every time I'm in the courtroom, he wonders why I'm there. More and more, I'm realizing it's not so much HIM that is my problem...it's ME! I'm not beating myself up for that...all of my IMPOSING was well meaning and from the heart but not positively effective. I was like this with my daughter too, once she turned 18, she moved out on her own. She loves her space, she works full time and is fairly independent. I was very good about her being on her own, I encouraged it. I know I raised them right. Wendy [/QUOTE]
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Gentle push or swift kick!
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