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Substance Abuse
Gentle push or swift kick!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 627306" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Why don't you just detach from it? Don't call. Don't ask how he's doing. Don't get involved. Enjoy your own life and let him figure it out. If he screws up, they will make sure he gets his natural consequences. In a few months, nobody is going to listen to what you say and, in a way, you may like that...you are no longer a factor and therefore you can let go of it.</p><p></p><p>If he extends the olive branch, make sure he isn't just doing it so that you'll send him money. Don't let him use or abuse you. You deserve better than that. NOBODY should do those things to you. And you can't help your son by angsting over his misbehavior. He has to fix it. You can't.</p><p></p><p>Um, it will take months of his being out of a supervised environment and clean and sober to tell if he has changed his ways. Why ask for him to be grounded to your house where you'll be miserable? He hasn't changed one wit. He just got into trouble. That's not changing. He has a long way to go and he hasn't even started yet. His promise, as you know, is worthless. Only his long term actions are good.</p><p></p><p>So far he is not acting too intimidated by the trouble he's in. He is choosing to hang with some pretty bad troublemakers rather than distance himself and try to work on himself. I knew my daughter really meant she wanted to change when she stopped looking for druggies to hang out with, even if it meant she was lonely and friendless.</p><p></p><p>I really hope you can have a peaceful night. Whether you are peaceful or not, nothing will change for your son. You may as well read a good book, or take a hot bubble bath, or enjoy a mindless movie...and let the moments fall into place. None of us can control anyone but us. None of us can predict the future no matter how much we think about it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 627306, member: 1550"] Why don't you just detach from it? Don't call. Don't ask how he's doing. Don't get involved. Enjoy your own life and let him figure it out. If he screws up, they will make sure he gets his natural consequences. In a few months, nobody is going to listen to what you say and, in a way, you may like that...you are no longer a factor and therefore you can let go of it. If he extends the olive branch, make sure he isn't just doing it so that you'll send him money. Don't let him use or abuse you. You deserve better than that. NOBODY should do those things to you. And you can't help your son by angsting over his misbehavior. He has to fix it. You can't. Um, it will take months of his being out of a supervised environment and clean and sober to tell if he has changed his ways. Why ask for him to be grounded to your house where you'll be miserable? He hasn't changed one wit. He just got into trouble. That's not changing. He has a long way to go and he hasn't even started yet. His promise, as you know, is worthless. Only his long term actions are good. So far he is not acting too intimidated by the trouble he's in. He is choosing to hang with some pretty bad troublemakers rather than distance himself and try to work on himself. I knew my daughter really meant she wanted to change when she stopped looking for druggies to hang out with, even if it meant she was lonely and friendless. I really hope you can have a peaceful night. Whether you are peaceful or not, nothing will change for your son. You may as well read a good book, or take a hot bubble bath, or enjoy a mindless movie...and let the moments fall into place. None of us can control anyone but us. None of us can predict the future no matter how much we think about it. [/QUOTE]
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Gentle push or swift kick!
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