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getting cursed at
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 632907" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Up, you are NOT crazy, even though everybody around you is disagreeing with reality. You're NOT the crazy one. We are here with you.</p><p></p><p>I remember when my alcoholic husband (now ex) and I used to have----endlessly----those circular conversations. I thought I was insane by the time it was over. I would be completely bereft and exhausted and full of despair.</p><p></p><p>I could not be heard by that man. If I started talking about the dishwasher needed fixing or the car was making a funny noise or a high-up light bulb needed to be changed....somehow, we would end up in a huge fight and the words always, never, You do this and you do that, well I have MY things I need to do, I don't have time for YOUR things (me saying it all too) and by the time it was all over...the problem was still the problem and mine to figure out how to solve.</p><p></p><p>And I was completely demoralized by the exchange with the person who was supposed to be my partner, my friend and my helpmate.</p><p></p><p>Finally (slow, slow learner that I am) I quit bringing any household issues to him at all. I mean none. I either did it myself or I hired it done.</p><p></p><p>But we would still have the circular, long, drawn out, conversations and arguments.</p><p></p><p>Sorry, I got off on my deal there, but I don't want you to think you are crazy. You are practicing healthy behavior. They are not.</p><p></p><p>And you are soooooo right---husband is next. I would stand down and stand aside---get yourself out of the line of fire----and let husband be the one.</p><p></p><p>Let him see what reality is really like. </p><p></p><p>Warm hugs. We are here for you. Don't ever forget that. Go to the beach! Go go go!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 632907, member: 17542"] Up, you are NOT crazy, even though everybody around you is disagreeing with reality. You're NOT the crazy one. We are here with you. I remember when my alcoholic husband (now ex) and I used to have----endlessly----those circular conversations. I thought I was insane by the time it was over. I would be completely bereft and exhausted and full of despair. I could not be heard by that man. If I started talking about the dishwasher needed fixing or the car was making a funny noise or a high-up light bulb needed to be changed....somehow, we would end up in a huge fight and the words always, never, You do this and you do that, well I have MY things I need to do, I don't have time for YOUR things (me saying it all too) and by the time it was all over...the problem was still the problem and mine to figure out how to solve. And I was completely demoralized by the exchange with the person who was supposed to be my partner, my friend and my helpmate. Finally (slow, slow learner that I am) I quit bringing any household issues to him at all. I mean none. I either did it myself or I hired it done. But we would still have the circular, long, drawn out, conversations and arguments. Sorry, I got off on my deal there, but I don't want you to think you are crazy. You are practicing healthy behavior. They are not. And you are soooooo right---husband is next. I would stand down and stand aside---get yourself out of the line of fire----and let husband be the one. Let him see what reality is really like. Warm hugs. We are here for you. Don't ever forget that. Go to the beach! Go go go! [/QUOTE]
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