going crazy!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by standswithcourage, Dec 7, 2007.

  1. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    I am going crazy again. This time it is about my easy child's friends leaving him out. Today from school his good friend for 3 years that has a car - takes someone else to his house to spend the night because they have a project to do! My easy child and this kid hung out for 3 years - even so - we carpooled for 2. This kid could not take my son to school this year nor pick him up because his parents would not let him. Any way, my easy child son is here tonight Friday night, by himself! It irritates me more than it does him. Actually my husband and I were supposed to go to a big party for his work - really I dont have much to wear but leaving my easy child son here by himself bothers me. Why do kids have to be so insensitive? I dont believe they are working on a project on Friday night? I feel sorry for my easy child. After all, he had to put up with difficult child for a very long time. Any ideas? Am I being overprotective or should I but out? :hammer:
     
  2. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Yes, you are being overprotective and yes, you should butt out.

    easy child's friend is entitled to have more than one friend. easy child is 17 years old and can manage just fine while you and husband go to the party.
     
  3. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Butt out! Things may be going on behind the scene you know nothing about. If he isn't bothered by it, why are you taking it on your shoulders? Hopefully, if he is hurting, he will tell you. If he doesn't, he has the right to his privacy on matters like this.
     
  4. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Ok - just checking - the support here is awesome and I thank you for it - sometimes I feel that I hate to burden others - even my sister and husband - but here I feel like I can!!! Thanks for giving me insight. I know sometimes I just want to jump in and call his friend and say How dare you make my easy child hurt - however, he is not hurting that much - he is watching Home Alone and laughing about it - I am hurting!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  5. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Also you know I wonder why my easy child doesnt want to do anything different? Sometimes I wish he would want to workout, etc. but he doesnt so I dont push him - I want him to know I love him just the way he is and I do - but I want hiim to experience life the best he can - I want him to have more friends also - he has friends - up until his Xbox 360 got stolen by difficult children friends all the guys were over here playing it - I miss that for him - anyway I just wish he had places to go to.
     
  6. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Well today I have to go to work at 12:00 at the mall. My husband is hunting and my easy child didnt want to go - so he will stay here byhimself I guess unless his wonderful friends call and say can you come over and then he doesnt have a ride but probably his friend will say no I cant come get you because it costs me gas!!!!!!!! That drives me crazy. As much as I have hauled that kid around before he got a car he owes!! I will not say anything about anything! It is hard for me to keep my mouth shut. My difficult child was always getting his feelings hurt and because he was in Special Education some I felt sorry for him - however, he has learned the hard way how to take care of himself and that brings him back to where he is today! :faint:
     
  7. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Ok, why does this kid owe you a darn thing? You could have said no to taking him places and giving him rides. Did you really think if you gave him rides before he could drive, he would have to drive your son around? I doubt there is a teen around who thinks like that. He (and his family) may very well have been using you for rides, but, sadly, that happens and is a fact of life.

    It's also possible that easy child's friends weren't friends but were over because easy child had an XBox360. It's also possible that they are not coming over any longer because of older son's friends and actions. Do you have a right to be angry if it was just because of the game? Yes. Can you say or do anything about it? No. So, let it go. Hopefully, your easy child will make friends. He may just be one of those kids who is okay with being alone. He may blossom in college or as an adult.

    Hon, you need to let your easy child stand up for himself. As I said, there may things going on that you don't know about. If he wants advice, be there. Otherwise, let him live his life. You need to start living your life.
     
  8. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Stands, it sounds a bit like you're trying to make your easy child live the life you want for him rather than the life he wants for himself.

    If he's happy to sit home alone watching a movie or reading a good book, then more power too him. Being able to entertain yourself and be happy with your own company is a life skill. The fact that he can do so is positive.

    As for the other boy owing your son a lift, I think Meowbunny makes a good point. If you were giving him lifts because you wanted to, that's fine, but if you were tallying up each lift in your head, expecting the favour to be returned, then that will get you nothing but resentment.

    Your easy child will be fine. It seems that you are still struggling to do things for yourself, and you're becoming overinvolved with your easy child to fill the void. Is there something you've always wanted to do? A neglected hobby?

    Others have said it before, and I will repeat it. It's time to take care of YOU.

    All the best, and hope my words don't offend.
    Trinity
     
  9. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    OK - no one offends me - I need the input. I appreciate the thoughts about it is time to take care of myself. I dont really think of myself first. I am happier doing what I love to do and that is be around people. I work at a little job at the mall where they serve food and have cooking classes, etc. I love it. Also my teaching job is wonderful - I get to be around little children all day! However, when I am alone I find it hard to find something to do especially if I dont have money! I also love to shop but I shop for everyone but myself most of the time. How do I shop for myself without feeling guilty?! Thanks!! ::money::
     
  10. Scent of Cedar II

    Scent of Cedar II New Member

    This is easy child's lesson to learn, Stands. Nothing new can happen if we don't make a space for it. For whatever reason, the fit between easy child and his friends is not the same.

    He needs room to grow, I think.

    Let him put his roots down and learn about himself.

    *******************

    Know what I used to buy myself when I wanted to be good to myself?

    Underpants.

    I would look at Victoria's Secret?

    But I always buy them at WalMart!

    :laugh:

    When I am healthier?

    I may move up to Sears, then Penny's and then, one day when I am really healthy?

    I will let them fit me for a bra at Victoria's.

    Yeppers.

    That's the plan!

    :smile:

    Barbara

    :xmasdancers:

     
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