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Going out of my mind?!
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<blockquote data-quote="Andee" data-source="post: 213448" data-attributes="member: 3508"><p>So to continue:</p><p>#3 came along 1 week late but otherwise fine, quick study, at 9mos having thus far refused all forms and flavors of baby foods and so being still totally breastfed she was introduced to McD's french fries and thereby quit nursing cold turkey and began eating what the rest of the family ate - this should have been "sealing the deal" that this kid was unique in setting her own standards and pace! (can you be Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) at this age? LOL) Healthwise she was fine - had chicken pox at age 4 and gave them to her whole pre-k class right at the end of the year because we thought they were ant bites! At 5, in K now, she caught pneumonia (having never had anything worse than a cold) that was elusive to docs (very long story) until she told them where to find it - specifically stating it was hurting behind her heart and under the breastbone (a strategic 5th series of x-rays finally confirmed it was in the lower left lobe) so she finally got put on the right treatment regime and recovered nicely. All remained well until she was 8 - and was suddenly taken down by systemic Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis... diagnosis was delayed by local docs as the symptoms came on so suddenly... 5 days, 6 ER visits, 3 clinic visits, and 1 inpatient stay later we took her to Mayo Clinics/hospitals in Rochester MN where she was finally diagnosed but near death by then - agressive treatments began - she was labeled 12th worst case ever documented and given a less than 40% chance of surviving. Today she's been in remission for several years - at 20 she is a junior in college majoring in Theatre & Music & Textile Arts (presently cast as the female lead in Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream) and only has some minor residule joint issues from the sJRA, but is also now diagnosis'd with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and has been Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) diagnosis'd since she was 12.</p><p>#4 came 7 weeks early with multiple complications - no spontaneous breath, first apgar was only 5, second was 8. He was first of four and one of two ID boys. Baby C was the reason behind delivery and it was clear he didn't agree with her! Early on he fought with respiratory issues, eventually gaining a diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), he had congenital heart issues- VSD, he also had reflux right away. By age 1yr he was diagnosis'd with-asthma, the VSD had shrunk by half, reflux was still bad, developmental delays in speech, and tubes in both ears due to chronic fluid issues, plus severe strabismus. At 2 they added moderate hearing loss and possible seizure disorder and amblyopia. At 3 he was on his 3rd set of tubes but speech was within normal limits and last seizure was at 28 months - asthma was getting worse - VSD was closed. By this point he'd been inpatient 9 times, all for respiratory issues, including RSV. He's never tolerated cow-based dairy products - but he loves them and at 17 now I leave it up to him to deal with the consequences. At 12 he was put thru weeks of testing that left us without any clear answer but supposedly ruled out celiac - however the time period that was gluten free was the best ever for his whole digestive tract and his energy level - but he was very unhappy not being able to have many of his favorite foods. (a case for me to carefully pick my battles with him) All his problems now stem from the "tummy" issues. Asthma has been gone for a few years now. </p><p>#5&6 - their stories are so identical I'll do them together to save us all some time. They are 2nd and 3rd of four - two identical girls. Both also arrived 7 weeks early with multiple complications, they shared a placenta and the outer sac but each had her own inner sac. For one, the 3rd, Baby C, the sacs had torn and she was at risk for the cord collapsing, except for the fact that the two babies below her then were completely transverse and totally blocking any fluid from escaping - but it would be critical in the timing of delivery. Both girls did fine with-breathing but needed tube feeds a few days and had trouble with temp control. They also both had VSDs - Baby B had one hole a little larger than Baby A had, but the 2nd girl, Baby C, had two holes that combined were much larger than either A or B. Happily these too self-resolved by age 4. By that time the list of their diagnosis's included: developmental delays, hearing loss (moderate to severe), oral apraxia later changed to global apraxia, Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)/asthma, multiple allergies, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified, strabismus, eczema and mild reflux. Now at 17 the Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) is still a sometimes issue, the apraxias remain but the girls are more comfortable working with it, eczema & allergies continue. They both still have one tube remaining in one ear (5th and last time that surgery was done they were 9yrs old) and have residual hearing losses that are mild enough to not be too concerned. It's obvious they have speech problems but they are mostly intelligible to others. They both fight depression fairly often but we're working with it. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p>(Baby D died inutero due to only have a two chamber heart - From Baby A to Baby D, all suffered essentially the same congenital heart defect, likely caused by a virus I had early in the pregnancy, the effect was sequentially worse in the order they were attached to the uterine wall)</p><p></p><p>Now, about my niece, Sis was married (to some guy with an even lower IQ) briefly at the time DN was born (he is not her father - and that is stated in their divorce decree too) which allowed Sis to stay home for her first few months and dote on her. From about 4 mos to 2y9m they lived with Mom 4 different times and inbetween had really cheap small apts. The longest stretch with Mom was close to 8 months at the end of that time. When they arrived here DN was still in diapers but beginning potty-training. She didn't talk much. She clung to her mom when she was around. Seemed pretty typical for her age, given that she was in totally unfamiliar territory.</p><p>Mom's way of parenting was quite strict - she kept a large wooden spoon - and used it to spank DN if she did anything out of line. I asked my Sis if she agreed with the idea and she said it was only thing that worked with DN, the only thing that stopped her from doing bad things. Sis didn't think DN really kept her stuff as neat as G'ma described but her room was always clean - she thought Mom cleaned it maybe with DN. </p><p>I do think you may be right that DN somehow plays on Sis' way of playing first and uses that to get what she wants more. I also feel that DN is more and more realizing that her mom isn't like most grownups but she hasn't vocalized this yet.</p><p></p><p>Nothing you wrote offended me in any way! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Counseling is being looked into.</p><p></p><p>And I am trying to watch out for me too - it was a lot easier (and quicker) for me to get things done with my kids when I was healthier. I've had to learn a lot about being on their side of the fence in many ways. Now we make jokes about who sees how many docs now or who's had the most appts this week or something. LOL Many times I've got them beat! We don't know yet if that's a good thing or not. LOL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andee, post: 213448, member: 3508"] So to continue: #3 came along 1 week late but otherwise fine, quick study, at 9mos having thus far refused all forms and flavors of baby foods and so being still totally breastfed she was introduced to McD's french fries and thereby quit nursing cold turkey and began eating what the rest of the family ate - this should have been "sealing the deal" that this kid was unique in setting her own standards and pace! (can you be Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) at this age? LOL) Healthwise she was fine - had chicken pox at age 4 and gave them to her whole pre-k class right at the end of the year because we thought they were ant bites! At 5, in K now, she caught pneumonia (having never had anything worse than a cold) that was elusive to docs (very long story) until she told them where to find it - specifically stating it was hurting behind her heart and under the breastbone (a strategic 5th series of x-rays finally confirmed it was in the lower left lobe) so she finally got put on the right treatment regime and recovered nicely. All remained well until she was 8 - and was suddenly taken down by systemic Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis... diagnosis was delayed by local docs as the symptoms came on so suddenly... 5 days, 6 ER visits, 3 clinic visits, and 1 inpatient stay later we took her to Mayo Clinics/hospitals in Rochester MN where she was finally diagnosed but near death by then - agressive treatments began - she was labeled 12th worst case ever documented and given a less than 40% chance of surviving. Today she's been in remission for several years - at 20 she is a junior in college majoring in Theatre & Music & Textile Arts (presently cast as the female lead in Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream) and only has some minor residule joint issues from the sJRA, but is also now diagnosis'd with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and has been Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) diagnosis'd since she was 12. #4 came 7 weeks early with multiple complications - no spontaneous breath, first apgar was only 5, second was 8. He was first of four and one of two ID boys. Baby C was the reason behind delivery and it was clear he didn't agree with her! Early on he fought with respiratory issues, eventually gaining a diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), he had congenital heart issues- VSD, he also had reflux right away. By age 1yr he was diagnosis'd with-asthma, the VSD had shrunk by half, reflux was still bad, developmental delays in speech, and tubes in both ears due to chronic fluid issues, plus severe strabismus. At 2 they added moderate hearing loss and possible seizure disorder and amblyopia. At 3 he was on his 3rd set of tubes but speech was within normal limits and last seizure was at 28 months - asthma was getting worse - VSD was closed. By this point he'd been inpatient 9 times, all for respiratory issues, including RSV. He's never tolerated cow-based dairy products - but he loves them and at 17 now I leave it up to him to deal with the consequences. At 12 he was put thru weeks of testing that left us without any clear answer but supposedly ruled out celiac - however the time period that was gluten free was the best ever for his whole digestive tract and his energy level - but he was very unhappy not being able to have many of his favorite foods. (a case for me to carefully pick my battles with him) All his problems now stem from the "tummy" issues. Asthma has been gone for a few years now. #5&6 - their stories are so identical I'll do them together to save us all some time. They are 2nd and 3rd of four - two identical girls. Both also arrived 7 weeks early with multiple complications, they shared a placenta and the outer sac but each had her own inner sac. For one, the 3rd, Baby C, the sacs had torn and she was at risk for the cord collapsing, except for the fact that the two babies below her then were completely transverse and totally blocking any fluid from escaping - but it would be critical in the timing of delivery. Both girls did fine with-breathing but needed tube feeds a few days and had trouble with temp control. They also both had VSDs - Baby B had one hole a little larger than Baby A had, but the 2nd girl, Baby C, had two holes that combined were much larger than either A or B. Happily these too self-resolved by age 4. By that time the list of their diagnosis's included: developmental delays, hearing loss (moderate to severe), oral apraxia later changed to global apraxia, Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)/asthma, multiple allergies, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified, strabismus, eczema and mild reflux. Now at 17 the Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) is still a sometimes issue, the apraxias remain but the girls are more comfortable working with it, eczema & allergies continue. They both still have one tube remaining in one ear (5th and last time that surgery was done they were 9yrs old) and have residual hearing losses that are mild enough to not be too concerned. It's obvious they have speech problems but they are mostly intelligible to others. They both fight depression fairly often but we're working with it. :) (Baby D died inutero due to only have a two chamber heart - From Baby A to Baby D, all suffered essentially the same congenital heart defect, likely caused by a virus I had early in the pregnancy, the effect was sequentially worse in the order they were attached to the uterine wall) Now, about my niece, Sis was married (to some guy with an even lower IQ) briefly at the time DN was born (he is not her father - and that is stated in their divorce decree too) which allowed Sis to stay home for her first few months and dote on her. From about 4 mos to 2y9m they lived with Mom 4 different times and inbetween had really cheap small apts. The longest stretch with Mom was close to 8 months at the end of that time. When they arrived here DN was still in diapers but beginning potty-training. She didn't talk much. She clung to her mom when she was around. Seemed pretty typical for her age, given that she was in totally unfamiliar territory. Mom's way of parenting was quite strict - she kept a large wooden spoon - and used it to spank DN if she did anything out of line. I asked my Sis if she agreed with the idea and she said it was only thing that worked with DN, the only thing that stopped her from doing bad things. Sis didn't think DN really kept her stuff as neat as G'ma described but her room was always clean - she thought Mom cleaned it maybe with DN. I do think you may be right that DN somehow plays on Sis' way of playing first and uses that to get what she wants more. I also feel that DN is more and more realizing that her mom isn't like most grownups but she hasn't vocalized this yet. Nothing you wrote offended me in any way! :) Counseling is being looked into. And I am trying to watch out for me too - it was a lot easier (and quicker) for me to get things done with my kids when I was healthier. I've had to learn a lot about being on their side of the fence in many ways. Now we make jokes about who sees how many docs now or who's had the most appts this week or something. LOL Many times I've got them beat! We don't know yet if that's a good thing or not. LOL [/QUOTE]
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