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Going out of my mind?!
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<blockquote data-quote="Andee" data-source="post: 213455" data-attributes="member: 3508"><p>We homeschool for many reasons - but primarily it's due to the way the schools deal (or not) with the kids' many issues.</p><p>DN has been in public school(s) - Sis worked for a daycare the last year they lived with my mom (that's somehow connected to how they ended up living with her yet again after Sis got a job there) and DN stayed at the daycare while Sis was working. Sis was the main driver - taking kids to and from schools. When they moved up here, Sis got a job right away and we got DN into a private in-home daycare. DN seemed to always be getting hurt and we were told she was mean to the other kids (all younger) and wouldn't listen. We then put into a more business like daycare. She was 3 by then, but had to stay with the younger kids because she was still in diapers/pullups. Again, frequent issues with being mean and getting hurt; plus now problems coming with eating - she has several severe allergies to common foods (dairy, beef, egg, chicken, orange/citrus, and so on) but she refusing to eat her foods once she saw what the "regular" kids got and then she'd try to take their foods. Behavior problems increased at home and at my place which Sis was coming over almost daily after work saying she couldn't deal with DN - they'd stay until after dinner then head home, supposedly to bed but Sis would tell me they didn't get to sleep until 12 or 1am most nights because DN wouldn't settle down. Then they're up again by 5:30 or 6am because Sis went to work at 7am. We tried Headstart - they are used to getting challenging kids. ;-) But even that didn't work too well. At the time I felt like maybe this kid just needed some major stability instead of so many things changing all the time. So I offered to keep her at home with me - then come summer one or both of my younger girls could maybe be the babysitter and get some pay for it. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> It took her a few months, almost until summer, but she began to settle some, not be so mean to everyone, talk a little more, and I started keeping notes on things. There were some things she seemed so smart about - she was eager to learn new things but only IF they were interesting to her. Then there were other things, stuff my kids had loved at that age, that she had no interest in at all. We (Sis & I) decided to try putting her in the Montessori program that the local school district had been running the last few years. She got in - seemed to like it. By mid-year she was getting timeouts for hitting or otherwise hurting other students; she had pulled so many pranks (like going in and locking all the bathroom stalls and then leaving like she'd done nothing; moving kids' inside shoes into other lockers (lockers were unlocked for this age group); doing the same with kids' jackets and coats; taking every ball in the bin out and sending it bouncing away - 20+ balls loose in about 20 seconds. She only played with others on her terms - refusing to allow anyone else to take the lead. By the end of the year she'd been sent or called to the principle's office over a dozen times and most school days she spent well over 50% of her time in timeout and not being allowed to participate in movies or other groups activities because she was so disruptive. Even they were running out of ideas on how to work with her and help her learn better how to be around others. </p><p></p><p>During the summer we watched a lot of negative behaviors die out and began thinking that maybe she just wasn't ready for school. By state law she didn't yet have to be enrolled, so we decided to keep her home for a year and see how things worked out. There have been improvements: she's happier; she's not getting hurt daily; she's not screaming at everyone so much; she's not hitting others as much. She still loves to pull pranks - but is learning that others have boundaries too and she will have to pay the consequences if she chooses to pull a prank that crosses that line with someone. She does still largely control what and when she does anything - willfully. She still heartily resists being told what she's to do and/or when to do it. We find compromises with some things.</p><p></p><p>This is the first school year that she's had to be enrolled in school. Because of the special diet needs, the attention issues, the agressiveness issues, and her very stubborn tendencies to go against anything that she doesn't initiate we decided keeping her home on the routine developed over the last year or so is better for her.</p><p></p><p>But that's probably what's put me to the point of losing my mind now! LOL Tho I know it's only temporary. ;-)</p><p>However, I do hope to stick around here on a more permanent basis! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andee, post: 213455, member: 3508"] We homeschool for many reasons - but primarily it's due to the way the schools deal (or not) with the kids' many issues. DN has been in public school(s) - Sis worked for a daycare the last year they lived with my mom (that's somehow connected to how they ended up living with her yet again after Sis got a job there) and DN stayed at the daycare while Sis was working. Sis was the main driver - taking kids to and from schools. When they moved up here, Sis got a job right away and we got DN into a private in-home daycare. DN seemed to always be getting hurt and we were told she was mean to the other kids (all younger) and wouldn't listen. We then put into a more business like daycare. She was 3 by then, but had to stay with the younger kids because she was still in diapers/pullups. Again, frequent issues with being mean and getting hurt; plus now problems coming with eating - she has several severe allergies to common foods (dairy, beef, egg, chicken, orange/citrus, and so on) but she refusing to eat her foods once she saw what the "regular" kids got and then she'd try to take their foods. Behavior problems increased at home and at my place which Sis was coming over almost daily after work saying she couldn't deal with DN - they'd stay until after dinner then head home, supposedly to bed but Sis would tell me they didn't get to sleep until 12 or 1am most nights because DN wouldn't settle down. Then they're up again by 5:30 or 6am because Sis went to work at 7am. We tried Headstart - they are used to getting challenging kids. ;-) But even that didn't work too well. At the time I felt like maybe this kid just needed some major stability instead of so many things changing all the time. So I offered to keep her at home with me - then come summer one or both of my younger girls could maybe be the babysitter and get some pay for it. :) It took her a few months, almost until summer, but she began to settle some, not be so mean to everyone, talk a little more, and I started keeping notes on things. There were some things she seemed so smart about - she was eager to learn new things but only IF they were interesting to her. Then there were other things, stuff my kids had loved at that age, that she had no interest in at all. We (Sis & I) decided to try putting her in the Montessori program that the local school district had been running the last few years. She got in - seemed to like it. By mid-year she was getting timeouts for hitting or otherwise hurting other students; she had pulled so many pranks (like going in and locking all the bathroom stalls and then leaving like she'd done nothing; moving kids' inside shoes into other lockers (lockers were unlocked for this age group); doing the same with kids' jackets and coats; taking every ball in the bin out and sending it bouncing away - 20+ balls loose in about 20 seconds. She only played with others on her terms - refusing to allow anyone else to take the lead. By the end of the year she'd been sent or called to the principle's office over a dozen times and most school days she spent well over 50% of her time in timeout and not being allowed to participate in movies or other groups activities because she was so disruptive. Even they were running out of ideas on how to work with her and help her learn better how to be around others. During the summer we watched a lot of negative behaviors die out and began thinking that maybe she just wasn't ready for school. By state law she didn't yet have to be enrolled, so we decided to keep her home for a year and see how things worked out. There have been improvements: she's happier; she's not getting hurt daily; she's not screaming at everyone so much; she's not hitting others as much. She still loves to pull pranks - but is learning that others have boundaries too and she will have to pay the consequences if she chooses to pull a prank that crosses that line with someone. She does still largely control what and when she does anything - willfully. She still heartily resists being told what she's to do and/or when to do it. We find compromises with some things. This is the first school year that she's had to be enrolled in school. Because of the special diet needs, the attention issues, the agressiveness issues, and her very stubborn tendencies to go against anything that she doesn't initiate we decided keeping her home on the routine developed over the last year or so is better for her. But that's probably what's put me to the point of losing my mind now! LOL Tho I know it's only temporary. ;-) However, I do hope to stick around here on a more permanent basis! :) [/QUOTE]
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