Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Going out of my mind?!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Andee" data-source="post: 213467" data-attributes="member: 3508"><p>I would like to thank all of you - Jennifer, TerryJ2, Beth, Susiestar, MidwestMom - for the warm welcomes (or welcome backs) ;-) and the many great comments and ideas!</p><p></p><p>This IS a soft place to land in the chaotic world of our lives with such wonderful and challenging kids!</p><p></p><p>I'm sure by now most of you won't read this until Wednesday morning. It's past my bedtime, that's for sure. ;-) But I felt I needed to respond to each of you in some way. Most of what I've been thru with my own kids didn't get so much into conduct and behavior until their teen years. At that point all six were in counseling, actually precipitated by my separation/divorce from their abusive dad. So they got help almost as the conduct issues came up and perhaps some were even circumvented altother.</p><p></p><p>NONE of my kids, even those with ADHD diagnosis's later, were as inattentive as DN at the same age. They had physical issues that meant delays and limits as to what they could actually do. So even if they did act out in some way - they couldn't run from me. DN can and often does run from me - she knows I can't move so fast - and she's lightning fast at times. She is always moving some part of her body. I've accepted that she is not able to focus unless something is in motion - so we work on moving parts that won't interfere with what she's supposed to be doing, or moving parts that help out what she's supposed to be doing. She's accepted a written schedule of things to do each day - some time frames have multiple options, some state only one thing. 30 minute blocks are sometimes divided into 2 15-minute blocks. When we stray from the schedule, she loses control more. She seems to thrive on consistent routine, keeping things in the same places, making everything have order. But there's a long way to go before my entire house and all it's members are all keeping to the schedule and keeping everything in the same place. Sis can't even begin to think of sticking to a schedule or a routine at all - and forget about keeping things orderly and in the same places!</p><p></p><p>My #2 daughter was recently diagnosis'd with ODD on top of everything else - and I can sort of see it in her - she does oppose others quite often and gets very defiant about doing things the way someone else wants them done - but I've always seen that as her way of dealing with a body that didn't work like it was supposed to. If she didn't fight it and didn't force herself to do things outside "normal" then she'd never have made it this far. She went from being a kid at age 3 that docs suggested I should put in an institution because she will never walk or talk or have any sort of normal life --- to being in school plays (requiring walking and talking - tyvm), passing high school with honors, going on to college and is now a little over a year away from a BA in Culinary arts specialing in pastry & baking. In her case it seems almost like ODD was a natural side-effect and necessary for survival.</p><p></p><p>With DN - I just don't know. Yeah, she's oppositional, she's defiant, she's also got a very short attention span, had a very unstable first 3 years, has a mom with definite problems in being an adult, but she's very bright, often learns new things with just one exposure to them, gets bored very easily, and if the whole day could pass with her being fully able to decide what to do and when she'd be just fine. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> She has an energy level that is unbelievable - and she can get lots accomplished - when she wants to - and she'll love doing it all - so long as she can be in control all the time. Obviously, at 7 years old, she lacks wisdom in making good decisions so she can't be in control all the time. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, thanks again to all of you for just being here, for listening, for sharing your ideas and experience too!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andee, post: 213467, member: 3508"] I would like to thank all of you - Jennifer, TerryJ2, Beth, Susiestar, MidwestMom - for the warm welcomes (or welcome backs) ;-) and the many great comments and ideas! This IS a soft place to land in the chaotic world of our lives with such wonderful and challenging kids! I'm sure by now most of you won't read this until Wednesday morning. It's past my bedtime, that's for sure. ;-) But I felt I needed to respond to each of you in some way. Most of what I've been thru with my own kids didn't get so much into conduct and behavior until their teen years. At that point all six were in counseling, actually precipitated by my separation/divorce from their abusive dad. So they got help almost as the conduct issues came up and perhaps some were even circumvented altother. NONE of my kids, even those with ADHD diagnosis's later, were as inattentive as DN at the same age. They had physical issues that meant delays and limits as to what they could actually do. So even if they did act out in some way - they couldn't run from me. DN can and often does run from me - she knows I can't move so fast - and she's lightning fast at times. She is always moving some part of her body. I've accepted that she is not able to focus unless something is in motion - so we work on moving parts that won't interfere with what she's supposed to be doing, or moving parts that help out what she's supposed to be doing. She's accepted a written schedule of things to do each day - some time frames have multiple options, some state only one thing. 30 minute blocks are sometimes divided into 2 15-minute blocks. When we stray from the schedule, she loses control more. She seems to thrive on consistent routine, keeping things in the same places, making everything have order. But there's a long way to go before my entire house and all it's members are all keeping to the schedule and keeping everything in the same place. Sis can't even begin to think of sticking to a schedule or a routine at all - and forget about keeping things orderly and in the same places! My #2 daughter was recently diagnosis'd with ODD on top of everything else - and I can sort of see it in her - she does oppose others quite often and gets very defiant about doing things the way someone else wants them done - but I've always seen that as her way of dealing with a body that didn't work like it was supposed to. If she didn't fight it and didn't force herself to do things outside "normal" then she'd never have made it this far. She went from being a kid at age 3 that docs suggested I should put in an institution because she will never walk or talk or have any sort of normal life --- to being in school plays (requiring walking and talking - tyvm), passing high school with honors, going on to college and is now a little over a year away from a BA in Culinary arts specialing in pastry & baking. In her case it seems almost like ODD was a natural side-effect and necessary for survival. With DN - I just don't know. Yeah, she's oppositional, she's defiant, she's also got a very short attention span, had a very unstable first 3 years, has a mom with definite problems in being an adult, but she's very bright, often learns new things with just one exposure to them, gets bored very easily, and if the whole day could pass with her being fully able to decide what to do and when she'd be just fine. :) She has an energy level that is unbelievable - and she can get lots accomplished - when she wants to - and she'll love doing it all - so long as she can be in control all the time. Obviously, at 7 years old, she lacks wisdom in making good decisions so she can't be in control all the time. Anyway, thanks again to all of you for just being here, for listening, for sharing your ideas and experience too! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Going out of my mind?!
Top