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<blockquote data-quote="Abbey" data-source="post: 308106" data-attributes="member: 179"><p>Hey...are you saying I have a reputation?<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /> </p><p> </p><p>Nothing cryptic, just truth. H walks in my room after I've been on the phone with my 'imaginary' friend last night for a good while and just shakes his head and says, "Oh, talking with one of your imaginary friends?" Turd bucket.</p><p> </p><p>I can easily move into random Deb mode, though. How about these:</p><p> </p><p>I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">· Life is sexually transmitted. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">· Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">· Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">· Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?' </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">· Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">· If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">· If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-size: 10px">· Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?</span> </span></span></p><p> </p><p>(I didn't write these, but thought they were worth pondering.)</p><p> </p><p>What else...</p><p> </p><p>My teammates at work are annoyed with me because I'm getting more hours than they are and they've been there since the creation of time. Well, dears, maybe it's because I'm willing to work ANY TIME AND DON'T GRIPE ALL THE TIME. Ya think?</p><p> </p><p>I've lost 9 lbs since starting this job but none of it seems to be going away from my tummy. Darn brauts.</p><p> </p><p>My friend in Madison called me at 2am yesterday to see if I wanted to make a quick trip to SD. Quick trip? It's 13 hours there! He just wanted to see his mom. What a mama's boy. Then turn around and drive back so he could be back tomorrow for work. I think I'll pass on that trip. I swear people up in this neck of the woods drive states away and think it's just a small jaunt.</p><p> </p><p>My lawn needs to be mowed. I'm SHOCKED that I'm wishing for snow to just cover it up and I don't have to deal with it until spring.</p><p> </p><p>I gave a friend a ride home from work the other day and nearly gave her whiplash from my cruddy car. We can't look at each other without cracking up. She said, "Yeah, when you said you'd give me a ride but my car is really crappy, I had no idea how serious you were." She hasn't asked for a ride since.<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p> </p><p>I'm learning to get around without the Garmin. Just a few times did I end up in other cities...Berlin, Ripon, Appleton, Manatowac, Menasha, Neena...just to name a few. They all look the same. The gas station attendants are getting to know me quite well up here. Ummm...could you tell me where I am and how to get back to Oshkosh?</p><p> </p><p>You ever get emails from people you really shouldn't have? My dad, who I have never said one cuss word in front of occasionally sends me, umm...rather inappropriate jokes and such. I'm almost afraid to open them sometimes. I guess he's not the prude I thought.</p><p> </p><p>Ok, here's another from my pop.</p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart every HOUR of every day. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute! </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St.Patrick's Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target + Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people and is the largest private employer. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the World. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger & Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only 15 years. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">8. During this same period, 31 Supermarket chains sought bankruptcy (including Winn-Dixie). </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had 5 years ago. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur at a Wal-Mart store. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 billion.) </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">12. Ninety percent (90%) of all Americans live within 15 miles of a Wal-Mart. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Let Wal-Mart bail out Wall Street. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Better yet . . . let them run the *&^% Government!!!!!!!</span></p><p> </p><p>Alright...enough random? I have to go to work. haha...I'm working today and none of the team is. Why do I take such pleasure in that?</p><p> </p><p>Abbers</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Abbey, post: 308106, member: 179"] Hey...are you saying I have a reputation?:raspberry-tounge: Nothing cryptic, just truth. H walks in my room after I've been on the phone with my 'imaginary' friend last night for a good while and just shakes his head and says, "Oh, talking with one of your imaginary friends?" Turd bucket. I can easily move into random Deb mode, though. How about these: I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. [FONT=Verdana]· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]· Life is sexually transmitted. [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]· Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]· Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]· Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?' [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]· Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]· If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]· If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][SIZE=2]· Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?[/SIZE] [/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=4][/SIZE] (I didn't write these, but thought they were worth pondering.) What else... My teammates at work are annoyed with me because I'm getting more hours than they are and they've been there since the creation of time. Well, dears, maybe it's because I'm willing to work ANY TIME AND DON'T GRIPE ALL THE TIME. Ya think? I've lost 9 lbs since starting this job but none of it seems to be going away from my tummy. Darn brauts. My friend in Madison called me at 2am yesterday to see if I wanted to make a quick trip to SD. Quick trip? It's 13 hours there! He just wanted to see his mom. What a mama's boy. Then turn around and drive back so he could be back tomorrow for work. I think I'll pass on that trip. I swear people up in this neck of the woods drive states away and think it's just a small jaunt. My lawn needs to be mowed. I'm SHOCKED that I'm wishing for snow to just cover it up and I don't have to deal with it until spring. I gave a friend a ride home from work the other day and nearly gave her whiplash from my cruddy car. We can't look at each other without cracking up. She said, "Yeah, when you said you'd give me a ride but my car is really crappy, I had no idea how serious you were." She hasn't asked for a ride since.:winking: I'm learning to get around without the Garmin. Just a few times did I end up in other cities...Berlin, Ripon, Appleton, Manatowac, Menasha, Neena...just to name a few. They all look the same. The gas station attendants are getting to know me quite well up here. Ummm...could you tell me where I am and how to get back to Oshkosh? You ever get emails from people you really shouldn't have? My dad, who I have never said one cuss word in front of occasionally sends me, umm...rather inappropriate jokes and such. I'm almost afraid to open them sometimes. I guess he's not the prude I thought. Ok, here's another from my pop. [SIZE=4]1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart every HOUR of every day. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute! [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St.Patrick's Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target + Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people and is the largest private employer. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the World. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger & Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only 15 years. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]8. During this same period, 31 Supermarket chains sought bankruptcy (including Winn-Dixie). [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had 5 years ago. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur at a Wal-Mart store. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 billion.) [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]12. Ninety percent (90%) of all Americans live within 15 miles of a Wal-Mart. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]Let Wal-Mart bail out Wall Street. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4][/SIZE] [SIZE=4]Better yet . . . let them run the *&^% Government!!!!!!![/SIZE] [SIZE=4][/SIZE] Alright...enough random? I have to go to work. haha...I'm working today and none of the team is. Why do I take such pleasure in that? Abbers [/QUOTE]
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