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Healthful Living / Natural Treatments
got the medication now i'm afraid to take it??
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 134366" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>Marg,</p><p></p><p>Thanks for sharing all of that, that was a good story and good for you. Kinda funny she wasn't interested i sat here laughing while i read it.</p><p></p><p>men are amazing plain and simple. this has been an ongoing problem for me not trusting, it stems from quite honestly the ongoing abuse i suffered from my dad. which i'm now reliving and dealing with i had surpressed the memories. so for me i'm not in my logical mind when i react. i get obsessional i can't let go i guess that's the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in me im' learning i also have lol. ahhh enlightenment give me dillusional anyday lol just joking.</p><p></p><p>anyhow so my therapist thought of a way in which get this my logical mind can talk to my emotional mind that as of late is winning out due to the fact the memories in which i am experiening its almost as if the abuse occured and just happened last week i never cried about it, got therapy etc. so now i have to walk around iwth a tiny little note book and when i feel myself going over hte edge i can place mycell in drawer so he is away from me and begin writing my thoughts she feels that will calm me give me cooling off time i'm a doer she said so it will get me doing something and also i can then read my words and hopefully my logical mind will take over.</p><p></p><p>sounds silly iknow but its been quite extreme lately, that the nightmares, the senses the triggers its unreal like walking over hot coals. so anyhow boyfriend thinks its a good idea because i had already grilled the poor man 3 times yesterday and he did nothing wrong and now the medications' should help a bit also. i've had terrible headache and dizziness after i take it sort of like i'm in a cloud. so hopefully the side effects will ware off in time. it's high dosage and i've never been on anything at all i'm praying it works for me i need some relief. </p><p></p><p>my doctor also said they want me to go for edmr i think i'm saying it right procedure so i dont have to continue reliving the trauma in my head. it has to do with a particular part of the brain the hippocampus that actually swells and becomes irregular when experiencing a trauma. she said if i was to have an mri done at this time the irregularity and difference would be highly noticable.</p><p></p><p>she made alot of valid points Occupational Therapist (OT) me last nite we did session on phone because he wsa working and i was with difficult child's i'm doubling down now between medications and therapy i want to be better whole again. she said i have purposely spent my life chosing men that need fixing subconsciously to avoid fixing me and dealing with the abuse that occured. good point. now i have chosen a man with whom needs no fixing pretty much if he has an issue he goes to the gym and works it out so i have no one to fix but myself now. difficult child is an ongiong and forever issue.</p><p></p><p>kinda cool points she made. also my abuser laid the ground work with me prior to the ongoing abuse and then went in for the kill it was very methodical and planned out. so now when i see someone loving me the way boyfriend does just for me i get scared their laying the ground work to get up and run. so im quitting my job and making myself totally dependent on him, handling difficult child's and the abuse memories suddenly so i'm so vulnerable right now like an open wound gushing if you will.</p><p></p><p>ok clearly i need to stop now. hope you read this marg lol i rambled terribly. haven't felt like talking and typing past few days maybe this is a good sign i'm leveling......who knows.</p><p></p><p></p><p>hope this was ok for this board. if not pls. someone remove it. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>jen</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 134366, member: 4514"] Marg, Thanks for sharing all of that, that was a good story and good for you. Kinda funny she wasn't interested i sat here laughing while i read it. men are amazing plain and simple. this has been an ongoing problem for me not trusting, it stems from quite honestly the ongoing abuse i suffered from my dad. which i'm now reliving and dealing with i had surpressed the memories. so for me i'm not in my logical mind when i react. i get obsessional i can't let go i guess that's the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in me im' learning i also have lol. ahhh enlightenment give me dillusional anyday lol just joking. anyhow so my therapist thought of a way in which get this my logical mind can talk to my emotional mind that as of late is winning out due to the fact the memories in which i am experiening its almost as if the abuse occured and just happened last week i never cried about it, got therapy etc. so now i have to walk around iwth a tiny little note book and when i feel myself going over hte edge i can place mycell in drawer so he is away from me and begin writing my thoughts she feels that will calm me give me cooling off time i'm a doer she said so it will get me doing something and also i can then read my words and hopefully my logical mind will take over. sounds silly iknow but its been quite extreme lately, that the nightmares, the senses the triggers its unreal like walking over hot coals. so anyhow boyfriend thinks its a good idea because i had already grilled the poor man 3 times yesterday and he did nothing wrong and now the medications' should help a bit also. i've had terrible headache and dizziness after i take it sort of like i'm in a cloud. so hopefully the side effects will ware off in time. it's high dosage and i've never been on anything at all i'm praying it works for me i need some relief. my doctor also said they want me to go for edmr i think i'm saying it right procedure so i dont have to continue reliving the trauma in my head. it has to do with a particular part of the brain the hippocampus that actually swells and becomes irregular when experiencing a trauma. she said if i was to have an mri done at this time the irregularity and difference would be highly noticable. she made alot of valid points Occupational Therapist (OT) me last nite we did session on phone because he wsa working and i was with difficult child's i'm doubling down now between medications and therapy i want to be better whole again. she said i have purposely spent my life chosing men that need fixing subconsciously to avoid fixing me and dealing with the abuse that occured. good point. now i have chosen a man with whom needs no fixing pretty much if he has an issue he goes to the gym and works it out so i have no one to fix but myself now. difficult child is an ongiong and forever issue. kinda cool points she made. also my abuser laid the ground work with me prior to the ongoing abuse and then went in for the kill it was very methodical and planned out. so now when i see someone loving me the way boyfriend does just for me i get scared their laying the ground work to get up and run. so im quitting my job and making myself totally dependent on him, handling difficult child's and the abuse memories suddenly so i'm so vulnerable right now like an open wound gushing if you will. ok clearly i need to stop now. hope you read this marg lol i rambled terribly. haven't felt like talking and typing past few days maybe this is a good sign i'm leveling......who knows. hope this was ok for this board. if not pls. someone remove it. :) jen [/QUOTE]
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got the medication now i'm afraid to take it??
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