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Grieving son
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 546549" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Talk to the chaplain at the hospital or you own pastor if you have one. Ask them how you can help your son. If he is willing to read, they may be able to suggest and have materials for him to understand the grieving process. Or check out your local library for books you think may help.</p><p></p><p>If he is willing to write, he can write letters to both these people stating how their actions affected his life and what he would have told them moments before the incidents if he knew what was going to happen and had the chance. </p><p></p><p>A visit to the one friend's grave for a private conversation? He can take something to leave at the site? Take him and then stand way back out of earshot.</p><p></p><p> Sometimes putting things in writing gives meaning and control over feelings and helps sort out feelings.</p><p></p><p>19 years old is so tough. They don't want to feel like they are a child because they cry or grieve but still not old enough to know it is healthy for all ages to grieve and seek help to work through it. He may not understand that it would be easier to talk to a counselor since he may hold back with you so as not to hurt you more. The "I need to say this but it might upset mom" dilemma.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to both of you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 546549, member: 5096"] Talk to the chaplain at the hospital or you own pastor if you have one. Ask them how you can help your son. If he is willing to read, they may be able to suggest and have materials for him to understand the grieving process. Or check out your local library for books you think may help. If he is willing to write, he can write letters to both these people stating how their actions affected his life and what he would have told them moments before the incidents if he knew what was going to happen and had the chance. A visit to the one friend's grave for a private conversation? He can take something to leave at the site? Take him and then stand way back out of earshot. Sometimes putting things in writing gives meaning and control over feelings and helps sort out feelings. 19 years old is so tough. They don't want to feel like they are a child because they cry or grieve but still not old enough to know it is healthy for all ages to grieve and seek help to work through it. He may not understand that it would be easier to talk to a counselor since he may hold back with you so as not to hurt you more. The "I need to say this but it might upset mom" dilemma. Hugs to both of you. [/QUOTE]
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