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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 430939" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Yup, I needn't have worried - J has not suddenly transformed into a wunderkind! Tonight, sure enough he was in full "difficult child" mode. As a treat, I had bought him some Bakugans (a word that meant nothing to me a week ago but then we were at a friend's house and J fell in love with her son's Bakugan collection). They are quite fiddly to close and open, and as I was making supper, J wanted me to come and open one of them. I told him I was busy and he would have to wait a minute... at which point he started shouting and crying, insisting I come "now". He really cannot handle frustration. I didn't give in - partly on principle, partly because I really was tied up making a rice pudding (or whatever you call it over there <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> ) and eventually he calmed down. Eventually he always calms down but we have to go through all this shouting and screaming first. Then he got very upset later when I told him that tomorrow evening he was going to N's, the childminder, as I am going out (nothing too exciting, just my meditation group <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />) He has taken against N because last time he was there she really told him off for telling a lie and he got very upset - like most of the French, she is very punitive and strict with children. Anyway, J started roaring "I AM NOT GOING - IF YOU SAY ME TO GO, I AM NOT GOING TO SCHOOL ANY MORE"... When he roars like that, I swear he sounds exactly like an angry teenager, not a 4 year old boy. Then there were more angry, loud tears. Again, I tried talking about it to him, just repeating that I was sorry but he did have to go, and eventually he calmed down. Sometimes I just am not in the mood to be understanding and sweetly reasonable, all the rest of it - later on when he was in the bath, I just announced, "J, I know you don't want to go to N's but you are going to go and that's the end of it." I did the same again at bedtime - because otherwise we will have more tears and protests tomorrow, which could involve him physically hanging on to me or the doorway, refusing to go into N's accompanied by dramatic crying... And he said, eventually, "okay, Mummy". </p><p>All this may not sound that big a deal, I don't know, but I swear that when J is in this mood he has this extraordinary (and quite negative!) force and power and intensity with this huge strong voice and commanding words that make me wonder what on earth he is going to be like when he really IS a teenager... And then other times he is this sweet, innocent little chap who you just want to pick up and cuddle.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 430939, member: 11227"] Yup, I needn't have worried - J has not suddenly transformed into a wunderkind! Tonight, sure enough he was in full "difficult child" mode. As a treat, I had bought him some Bakugans (a word that meant nothing to me a week ago but then we were at a friend's house and J fell in love with her son's Bakugan collection). They are quite fiddly to close and open, and as I was making supper, J wanted me to come and open one of them. I told him I was busy and he would have to wait a minute... at which point he started shouting and crying, insisting I come "now". He really cannot handle frustration. I didn't give in - partly on principle, partly because I really was tied up making a rice pudding (or whatever you call it over there :-) ) and eventually he calmed down. Eventually he always calms down but we have to go through all this shouting and screaming first. Then he got very upset later when I told him that tomorrow evening he was going to N's, the childminder, as I am going out (nothing too exciting, just my meditation group :-)) He has taken against N because last time he was there she really told him off for telling a lie and he got very upset - like most of the French, she is very punitive and strict with children. Anyway, J started roaring "I AM NOT GOING - IF YOU SAY ME TO GO, I AM NOT GOING TO SCHOOL ANY MORE"... When he roars like that, I swear he sounds exactly like an angry teenager, not a 4 year old boy. Then there were more angry, loud tears. Again, I tried talking about it to him, just repeating that I was sorry but he did have to go, and eventually he calmed down. Sometimes I just am not in the mood to be understanding and sweetly reasonable, all the rest of it - later on when he was in the bath, I just announced, "J, I know you don't want to go to N's but you are going to go and that's the end of it." I did the same again at bedtime - because otherwise we will have more tears and protests tomorrow, which could involve him physically hanging on to me or the doorway, refusing to go into N's accompanied by dramatic crying... And he said, eventually, "okay, Mummy". All this may not sound that big a deal, I don't know, but I swear that when J is in this mood he has this extraordinary (and quite negative!) force and power and intensity with this huge strong voice and commanding words that make me wonder what on earth he is going to be like when he really IS a teenager... And then other times he is this sweet, innocent little chap who you just want to pick up and cuddle. [/QUOTE]
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