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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 432249" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>I just wanted to add, as this thread was originally about small signs of growing maturity, that we had another minuscule (but significant?) breakthrough this morning. Oh the things that are nothing to ordinary parents and so big to us <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> </p><p> J started on about wanting a DVD again this morning, whining and crying. I have a firm rule about no DVDs during the week because there is no time for it. Watching DVDs in the morning or evening after school means we do not talk, he does not play with his toys, etc. And if I say yes once, he would want it ALL the time. So no is no (or could have been "yes, certainly, you can have a DVD tomorrow!" if I had read that post in time). I just calmly said this was the way it was, he could only have DVDs at the weekend, and today was Friday. "IT'S NOT FRIDAY!" he roared. But the gods were not listening to small J and Friday it remained... Then he started all the "I don't like you Mummy!" business and hitting me - that is to say, brushing his fists softly against my arms and his feet softly against my legs while sitting on my lap. Hitting without hitting... No pain involved but still not good. I removed him to another part of the room and said I didn't want to talk to him until he had calmed down. And then he did something he's never done before... Went crying and protesting loudly upstairs, went into his room (slamming the door) and I heard him crying inside for about five minutes. Then... he stopped, came out, came downstairs, calm and cheerful, we had a cuddle, I asked if he was feeling better, he said yes and the rest of the morning until school time was fine and dandy!</p><p>Oh wouldn't it be nice to think that this is now the way things are going to be, that he has somehow learnt to handle his emotions by himself... No, I am not quite that optimistic - or naive <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> But it's a positive sign anyway.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 432249, member: 11227"] I just wanted to add, as this thread was originally about small signs of growing maturity, that we had another minuscule (but significant?) breakthrough this morning. Oh the things that are nothing to ordinary parents and so big to us :-) J started on about wanting a DVD again this morning, whining and crying. I have a firm rule about no DVDs during the week because there is no time for it. Watching DVDs in the morning or evening after school means we do not talk, he does not play with his toys, etc. And if I say yes once, he would want it ALL the time. So no is no (or could have been "yes, certainly, you can have a DVD tomorrow!" if I had read that post in time). I just calmly said this was the way it was, he could only have DVDs at the weekend, and today was Friday. "IT'S NOT FRIDAY!" he roared. But the gods were not listening to small J and Friday it remained... Then he started all the "I don't like you Mummy!" business and hitting me - that is to say, brushing his fists softly against my arms and his feet softly against my legs while sitting on my lap. Hitting without hitting... No pain involved but still not good. I removed him to another part of the room and said I didn't want to talk to him until he had calmed down. And then he did something he's never done before... Went crying and protesting loudly upstairs, went into his room (slamming the door) and I heard him crying inside for about five minutes. Then... he stopped, came out, came downstairs, calm and cheerful, we had a cuddle, I asked if he was feeling better, he said yes and the rest of the morning until school time was fine and dandy! Oh wouldn't it be nice to think that this is now the way things are going to be, that he has somehow learnt to handle his emotions by himself... No, I am not quite that optimistic - or naive :-) But it's a positive sign anyway. [/QUOTE]
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