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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 430719" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>Feelings such as these nearly destroyed me, Rainbird. It has worked for me to say the following to my child: "You were raised better." This was incredibly freeing because it was true. All at once, because it WAS true, I had a place to stand, again. Whatever your child is doing now, that it makes you uncomfortable indicates that she was not raised to do that. She DOES know better. She WAS raised better. She is choosing to ignore that. In addition to enabling me to stand up again, these words, and the changed attitude they enabled, gave my son a visible line...and I think that visible line, that mother who loved him but would not accept what he was doing ~ who in fact, condemned what he was doing ~ gave him a way to know how to come back.</p><p></p><p>Another phrases I found helpful was: I love you too much to watch you destroy yourself. (This was always a good place to slip in another chorus of "You were raised better than to do what you're doing.")</p><p></p><p>I wish you and your family well, Rainbird. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry this is happening to you.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 430719, member: 3353"] Feelings such as these nearly destroyed me, Rainbird. It has worked for me to say the following to my child: "You were raised better." This was incredibly freeing because it was true. All at once, because it WAS true, I had a place to stand, again. Whatever your child is doing now, that it makes you uncomfortable indicates that she was not raised to do that. She DOES know better. She WAS raised better. She is choosing to ignore that. In addition to enabling me to stand up again, these words, and the changed attitude they enabled, gave my son a visible line...and I think that visible line, that mother who loved him but would not accept what he was doing ~ who in fact, condemned what he was doing ~ gave him a way to know how to come back. Another phrases I found helpful was: I love you too much to watch you destroy yourself. (This was always a good place to slip in another chorus of "You were raised better than to do what you're doing.") I wish you and your family well, Rainbird. I'm sorry this is happening to you. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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