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<blockquote data-quote="welcometowitsend" data-source="post: 547173" data-attributes="member: 14356"><p>Exhausted - I am so sorry you are feeling this way right now. One thing that really helped me was that article someone posted the other day about the Pastor's family and their drug addicted son. (Could someone repost it if you have the link?) </p><p></p><p>The mother said she went to a meeting and the speaker said "I am not God, and neither are you." or something to that effect. It really struck home. We are NOT perfect nor can we ever expect to be. If you can look back and say "Yes, I have made mistakes but I always did things with the best intentions and tried my hardest." Then you have nothing to feel guilty about. You did not cause this. Even God has trouble with His children. </p><p></p><p>All people are born with their own personality and characteristics. Yes, we can have an effect on how they turn out but much of it is already there from birth. Your daughter is practically an adult and you have done everything you could to raise her well. It is time for her to start making her own choices and decisions. Yes, bad things happened to her (I'm assuming because of the PTSD) but she can choose to work through them or wallow in them. </p><p></p><p>Something clicked in me very recently and I have decided that I WILL have peace in my home. I have been having panic attacks in the middle of the night, I often get the shakes for no reason, I have difficulty focusing and am really struggling emotionally - all signs of an impending nervous breakdown. My husband and daughter need me. School starts in one month and my daughter has significant learning disabilities and needs help, especially at the beginning of the year. </p><p></p><p>I want things to change in my home for the better and in order for that to happen difficult child needs to see the psychiatrist and the psychotherapist and participate in his treatment and follow instructions. Those are my requirements for him to continue living in our home. He now has the choice to follow the requirements of living in my home or find a new home to live in. He can get welfare and go to the food bank. He will be ok if he has to leave. That will be his choice. I am not controlling him or his choices. I am controlling my life and how my home is going to be. </p><p></p><p>I have the right to do that and so do you. </p><p></p><p>Funny thing - now that difficult child knows I mean business and senses something different in me he is beginning to change his attitude. I think he is starting to realize that he is no longer able to play me like a puppet, control my emotions and scare me into submission. This is VERY new so I will have to wait and see for sure but I'm hopeful that my change will effect his change too. </p><p></p><p>Big hugs to you. Take some peace in knowing that you have done your best and will continue to do your best.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="welcometowitsend, post: 547173, member: 14356"] Exhausted - I am so sorry you are feeling this way right now. One thing that really helped me was that article someone posted the other day about the Pastor's family and their drug addicted son. (Could someone repost it if you have the link?) The mother said she went to a meeting and the speaker said "I am not God, and neither are you." or something to that effect. It really struck home. We are NOT perfect nor can we ever expect to be. If you can look back and say "Yes, I have made mistakes but I always did things with the best intentions and tried my hardest." Then you have nothing to feel guilty about. You did not cause this. Even God has trouble with His children. All people are born with their own personality and characteristics. Yes, we can have an effect on how they turn out but much of it is already there from birth. Your daughter is practically an adult and you have done everything you could to raise her well. It is time for her to start making her own choices and decisions. Yes, bad things happened to her (I'm assuming because of the PTSD) but she can choose to work through them or wallow in them. Something clicked in me very recently and I have decided that I WILL have peace in my home. I have been having panic attacks in the middle of the night, I often get the shakes for no reason, I have difficulty focusing and am really struggling emotionally - all signs of an impending nervous breakdown. My husband and daughter need me. School starts in one month and my daughter has significant learning disabilities and needs help, especially at the beginning of the year. I want things to change in my home for the better and in order for that to happen difficult child needs to see the psychiatrist and the psychotherapist and participate in his treatment and follow instructions. Those are my requirements for him to continue living in our home. He now has the choice to follow the requirements of living in my home or find a new home to live in. He can get welfare and go to the food bank. He will be ok if he has to leave. That will be his choice. I am not controlling him or his choices. I am controlling my life and how my home is going to be. I have the right to do that and so do you. Funny thing - now that difficult child knows I mean business and senses something different in me he is beginning to change his attitude. I think he is starting to realize that he is no longer able to play me like a puppet, control my emotions and scare me into submission. This is VERY new so I will have to wait and see for sure but I'm hopeful that my change will effect his change too. Big hugs to you. Take some peace in knowing that you have done your best and will continue to do your best. [/QUOTE]
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