Had first appointment today re ODD

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by maisies_mummy, Aug 31, 2007.

  1. maisies_mummy

    maisies_mummy New Member

    Hi, I was on a few days ago begging you all for advice on ODD. Well today we had our first appointment with the behaviour peadietrition. Maisie has obvious learning difficulties in motor skills, social skills and physicaly. She has quirks that fit into either Aspergers or ADHD and ODD and anxiety but not all quirks fit into one disorder so not yet got any answers as to what it is.
    (you guys said aspergers or Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) so know your stuff)
    We have to go back next week and work through the normal methods of time out, charts ect (done these at home and school before but no improvement but have to be done again!!!) Then if after that there is still no improvements and the school have any problems we go to see the neurologists (sp) and get more tests done.

    We were in there 3 hours going through all the problems, there are obviously some big problems to deal with and hopefully we can now start working towards resolving them a bit. Maisie has a great knowledge about wildlife and facts, and her speech and that is fine as I thought. Just wish the toileting and Rages would sink in as easy as the names of plants and insects lol........ if only life was that simple lol.

    Thanks guys you all helped me so much! I will continue to visit here for advice, to get some sanity and keep you all updated!

    From a very frustrated, tired, worn out mummy lol.
     
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    I'm glad to hear your appointment was moved up. Even here in the US there are very long waiting lists for appointments in some areas.

    Keep us posted. Hopefully this will set you on the path for understanding her better and getting her some interventions.
     
  3. maisies_mummy

    maisies_mummy New Member

    doh she will be refered to neuropsychologist, sorry my brain is scrambled today lol.

    Thanks thats what we really need is to understand this. I think it would make life a lot easier to know she is not doing this to drive us mad, and that she really cant help it. Which I am sure she cant.
     
  4. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    Doesn't it feel so much better when a doctor confirms that there is a concern? I felt relieved, like wow, I really am not a terrible mom, he just doesn't function the way most do. I'm glad you got your visit! I think you're on the right path. I hope it offered some relief and understanding!
     
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Well today we had our first appointment with the behaviour pediatrition.

    Yay!

    Maisie has obvious learning difficulties in motor skills, social skills and physicaly. She has quirks that fit into either Aspergers or ADHD and ODD and anxiety but not all quirks fit into one disorder

    Join the club. Two steps forward and three steps back. Sigh.

    Just wish the toileting and Rages would sink in as easy as the names of plants and insects lol........ if only life was that simple lol.

    Ohhhh, yeah!

    a very frustrated, tired, worn out mummy lol.

    I hear you. Hugs.
     
  6. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/

    This is a really great site about Asperger Syndrome. If she does in fact have it (she sounds just like my 8 year old son at that age!), it will give you a lot of info.

    Don't forget to read Ross Greene's book, The Explosive Child. It really helped around our house!

    Congrats and keep us posted!

    Beth
     
  7. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Beth's right about the book. If you use Asperger's as your working hypothesis, you might find you can cope with Maisie a lot more easily.

    We don't have an official diagnosis for easy child 2/difficult child 2 - she's probably too old to be easy to diagnose anyway, but it's our working hypothesis and it makes a big difference in how we see her as well as how she sees herself.

    Asperger's can be a very positive way of looking at her - it is a remarkable condition. And she sure sounds like it to me - the encyclopedic knowledge on a moderately narrow topic, the difficulty in other areas including often toileting. It all fits.

    We finally sorted out the toileting issue, but it took time and patience. Patience is the key, however. Don't rush - I'm not sure how old she is, but even if she has to wear Pull-ups to school, although that isn't too likely. More likely, she will wait until she comes home, or only need Pull-ups at night.

    Have you had a look at the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire on http://www.childbrain.com? It's not officially diagnostic but it can help you see what in your child is likely to be part of a syndrome, and what is simply her.

    The rages - some things you just shouldn't try to discipline. The best technique is to try to prevent rages, than have to deal with them. If you know that taking hr to the supermarket is going to have her wanting every little toy she sees ("I HAVE to have it! I NEED it!") then either don't take her; take her but make it clear that there will be NO TOYS (you'll probably fail with this one) or give her a set amount of money which SHE can choose to spend it on.

    An Asperger's kid has a keenly developed sense of justice and rules, although the rules are often what their own observations tell them is what works, so they may not be the rules you have tried to teach. All you can do is try to show her by example that your rules work better (or maybe change your rules, if you can see hers are OK?) and slowly work consistently to bring you both to a discipline compromise you can both understand and accept.

    If you can do this, it is later on you will reap the benefits. When other parents are wailing about their child on drugs, their child as a vandal, their child on probation for theft - feel smug. Most Aspies, especially if you've been able to support their social learning as well as their other needs, will not get involved in that sort of thing, unless as a follower. I do know one local Aspie with a record for running with a local gang involved in violence, vandalism and drugs, but his parents gave him too much of the wrong sort of freedom, happy that he had friends of ANY sort, rather than stopping him from being used by the local gang. I like this kid, I like his parents, but they got it wrong and now accept that they did. They still could turn him around (and maybe are in a fair bit of denial) but it wouldn't be pretty.
    On the flip side of the coin, there are my kids, as well as another young man a few houses away. I'm actually not on speaking terms with this young man's father, he's an appalling parent, the boys' mother is completely under her husband's thumb, we all USED to be friends, but this young man is a fine example of a kid whose eye is on what HE wants to do in life, regardless of his father's erratic behaviour. This young man is going to do well because the intense focus common to a lot of Aspies has found a channel. Plus one thing his parents HAVE done for him is to simply accept him, complete with his oddities. The other young man - his parents were always trying to fix him, using his Asperger's as a means to get him out of trouble. Not a good idea. It's a mitigating circumstance, not a "get out of jail free" card. You have to ensure there are consequences of some sort, appropriate to the child and their own reasoning and also recognising how much of what they did was something they had control over (example - dirty nappy in a 6 month old baby; you don't punish for that. But dirty pants in an otherwise toilet-trained five year old - you deal with that differently, you start by involving the child in cleaning it up).

    Do a sig for us when you can, so you don't have to keep updating or giving us the same information in each message. You can easily modify a sig whenever you need to.

    And I'm so glad you've already had some assessment. Keep an open mind - diagnosis takes time and isn't always right. But each assessment brings you closer, like trying to mentally work out the square root of a large number.

    Marg
     
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