Happy Birthday to my difficult child

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by slsh, Mar 9, 2013.

  1. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    It's that time of year again - cannot *believe* he's 22 today. Some of you folks have "known" him since he was 8, LOL.

    He's doing okay. Today is going to be hard for him - he was planning on proposing to B... there's still a lot of raw pain and grief over her death, but he's really done remarkably well all things considered. Taking a class at community college, still a bit aimless and not sure what he wants to do with his life, impatient because he thinks at 22 he should have it figure out (I just hug him and reassure him - heck, at 50, I'm still clueless on what I want to be when I grow up, LOL). But he's clean, looking really good, an absolute delight to have around (when he's around, which isn't very often - as it should be, I guess), and the fact that he survived the past 9 months without falling back into drugs or disappearing into the bottom of a bottle... I think it speaks volumes about his resiliency and ability to ultimately create the life he wants.

    So a very happy b-day to my old Tyler-Bear. :bdayiggy:
  2. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    Happy Birthday thank you!
  3. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Happy b-day thank you. And, a hug for a proud mom too.
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Great to celebrate this day with you! Happy Birthday thank you.
  5. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    So amazed at how well he is doing! Happy Birthday thank you!
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Happy Birthday thank you!!! I got goosebumps reading this (the good kind) and I can't quit smiling!
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    How wonderful that you can be proud of the man you raised. Congrats! DDD :bdayparty:
  8. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Happy birthday!!!!
  9. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    Happy Birthday thank you! Wish it could have been better for him, glad it wasn't worse.
  10. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Happy Birthday thank you. I remember the day when he was much much younger pulling the heads off your flowers :) LOL

  11. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Happy, happy birthday and many more wonderful, healthy years to come. He's overcome so much recently, and may he continue to be strong and good!
    Many happy returns!
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Happy Birthday, Tyler!!

    It is wonderful to hear how much he has grown and changed and matured. For a long time it seemed like if he used the amazing stubborn determination and creativity that were part of his gfgness for positive, he would make amazing strides and become a wonderful man. I hope he has some inkling of how proud we all are of him.

    The grief could easily have dragged him down, but so far it hasn't. I don't know if he would be open to grief counseling, but it helped me a great deal. When he is ready, it is likely to be something that could be a good thing. Often the funeral homes know of or run grief therapy support groups and universities with psychology programs on the graduate level are another place to find them. Many are free, esp ones at funeral homes (at least here and in Cincy they were).

    As for not knowing what he wants to be when he grows up, it might help him to know that he can be more than one thing. He has sixty to eighty years left and it is possible to have more than one career. I found it almost paralyzing to choose a career when I went to college. 14 majors in 3 yrs reflects that, and yes, I did have that many! When I realized I could study for 4-8 yrs, work at that career for 20 yrs, and go back and do it all again in another field at least once? It was liberating. I wasn't 'stuck' by a decision I made in my late teens/early 20's(well, except for the having kids part. that does stick with you if you are lucky.) for the rest of my life.

    Just something for him to think about. He has SO MUCH to offer the world, and if he applies the determination, perseverance and creativity to a career that he applied to accomplishing all the difficult child stuff and flouting the rules during the worst years, he will do amazing things no matter what he chooses to do. WIth that level of stubborn creativity, he could build an escalator to the moon if he wanted to!

    Happy Birthday to YOU too! Sometime during my teens my dad started giving my mother a gift for our birthdays. He felt it wasn't just a celebration for us, it was for her too. After all, she did all the hard work. You are an awesome mom!
  13. Rabbit

    Rabbit Member

    :bdayiggy:Happy Birthday thank you!:bdayparty: