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Have a feeling of impending doom
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 664150" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>D H goes further, Jabber. When my father was still alive, he told us: (This was regarding son, as daughter was doing well for about fifteen minutes.) My father said: "If he wasn't happy doing what he is doing (being homeless and addicted), he would be doing something else." Then my father said: "We do the best we know as parents. The hard part is that we don't know whether what we did was what a particular child needed until they're not listening to us, anymore." And my father said: "I am an old man. Looking back on my life, on the times I exchanged freedom for responsibility...who is to say whether I was right or wrong to spend my life choosing responsibility? It might have been better spent, now that I am old and I see it was true, when they told me I would die one day, for me to have made a different choice."</p><p></p><p>And my father said: "He will be fine. Whichever way this works out. He will be fine with this, at the end of his life."</p><p></p><p>And though my father's words comforted me, they took D H from guilt and a sense of responsibility to respect for himself and for me <em>and in a way, even for what the kids were doing or were about to do</em>.</p><p></p><p>That's why D H is able to say: No Money.</p><p></p><p>But I wasn't able to say that at all...so D H has given cash, <em>for my sake.</em> Not that D H has a problem with any legitimate request from a child starting out to a parent. He has always been able to see with more clarity which ~ I don't know, disbursements maybe ~ would be legitimate help. D H does not enable, <em>not even in the words he uses to talk to the kids about how they got where they are.</em></p><p></p><p>It has taken me forever to see the way D H sees.</p><p></p><p>But he was correct.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 664150, member: 17461"] D H goes further, Jabber. When my father was still alive, he told us: (This was regarding son, as daughter was doing well for about fifteen minutes.) My father said: "If he wasn't happy doing what he is doing (being homeless and addicted), he would be doing something else." Then my father said: "We do the best we know as parents. The hard part is that we don't know whether what we did was what a particular child needed until they're not listening to us, anymore." And my father said: "I am an old man. Looking back on my life, on the times I exchanged freedom for responsibility...who is to say whether I was right or wrong to spend my life choosing responsibility? It might have been better spent, now that I am old and I see it was true, when they told me I would die one day, for me to have made a different choice." And my father said: "He will be fine. Whichever way this works out. He will be fine with this, at the end of his life." And though my father's words comforted me, they took D H from guilt and a sense of responsibility to respect for himself and for me [I]and in a way, even for what the kids were doing or were about to do[/I]. That's why D H is able to say: No Money. But I wasn't able to say that at all...so D H has given cash, [I]for my sake.[/I] Not that D H has a problem with any legitimate request from a child starting out to a parent. He has always been able to see with more clarity which ~ I don't know, disbursements maybe ~ would be legitimate help. D H does not enable, [I]not even in the words he uses to talk to the kids about how they got where they are.[/I] It has taken me forever to see the way D H sees. But he was correct. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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