Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Have you ever *really* thrown your kid out?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 368212" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I did it before my son was 18. I realized that he was going to kill one of us, and teach his siblings that it is OK to abuse women. I did not want him to have to wrestle with guilt over seriously hurting me or hospitalizing me or his sister. It would have destroyed his entire life as he is less willing to forgive himself than he is to forgive us. I had the Sheriff's Deputies take him away in handcuffs for beating me. They tried for over an hour to talk me out of it and I refused to budge. husband came home during it and I told him he could either stay with us and let difficult child go, or go with difficult child. NO ONE was going to teach my daughter that it is ok to abuse women, and NO ONE, not even my child, was going to beat me.</p><p></p><p>It was the hardest thing I have ever done. If it ever happens again, I would do it again. We could not afford an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and I was trying to push the courts into funding one. I spent literally over 100 hours on the phone trying to find someone to help us get a therapeautic placement for him. I finally talked one awesome facility into it when my parents asked to have him stay with them. It was terribly important to my dad to try this before we sent him to "outsiders". Knowing his beliefs about this, and after being worn down by my parents, I agreed. Somehow it has worked. I know not why.</p><p></p><p>I DO know that until we refused to let him stay here, NOTHING had really made an impact on his core beliefs about women. He truly did not think I was strong enough, or had the legal right, to insist he not abuse me physically, emotionally or in any other way he wanted to. He honestly believed he had a legal and moral right to act the way he did. Now he has no idea why he ever thought that. He does admit that my mother said things that contributed greatly to it, often whispered to him as he slept. About how she loved him more than anyone else and if the world was "right" he would live with her. That if he was "bad" enough behaved he could come live with her. I didn't know this until very recently, but am not surprised much by it, in light of her other behavior and the mental breakdown that happened a few years back. </p><p></p><p>Go to <a href="http://www.aetv.com" target="_blank">www.aetv.com</a> and watch the full episodes of "Intervention" that are there. Watch them until you realize, deep down, that until you stop supporting her habit she will not EVER get better. You truly are contributing to her DEATH by supporting her. Being homeless is NOT the end of the world. MANY people survive that. It isn't fun, or "nice" but it IS survivable. She will find a drug house to stay in, or someone to take her in. OR she will realize she cannot go on that way and accept treatment - and truly get clean. If you send her to rehab before she hits bottom she will not accept that she needs the help. She won't accept the help until she truly BELIEVES that she has nowhere to go, no way to get better except to get clean.</p><p></p><p>PLEASE watch the show, see that other people are doing it. Contact the show if you think it might help you. Or find a therapist to help you work through your feelings and help you toss her out. Because by providing her with a place to stay you are preventing her from hitting bottom. YOU are SUPPORTING her habit as surely as if you put the drugs into her hand. I am sorry. It hurts to know it is true. It is hard to say it. </p><p></p><p>You have to do it for more than difficult child's sake. You are TEACHING your other kids that it is OK to do what she does. You are ALLOWING her to abuse them every single day. You are teaching them that they deserve her abuse. That they DESERVE it, that it is OK for someone to ABUSE them. If you cannot make her leave for her own sake, maybe you can do it for theirs. PLEASE find a therapist with experience in addiction to help you help your other children. THEY DESERVE BETTER.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 368212, member: 1233"] I did it before my son was 18. I realized that he was going to kill one of us, and teach his siblings that it is OK to abuse women. I did not want him to have to wrestle with guilt over seriously hurting me or hospitalizing me or his sister. It would have destroyed his entire life as he is less willing to forgive himself than he is to forgive us. I had the Sheriff's Deputies take him away in handcuffs for beating me. They tried for over an hour to talk me out of it and I refused to budge. husband came home during it and I told him he could either stay with us and let difficult child go, or go with difficult child. NO ONE was going to teach my daughter that it is ok to abuse women, and NO ONE, not even my child, was going to beat me. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. If it ever happens again, I would do it again. We could not afford an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and I was trying to push the courts into funding one. I spent literally over 100 hours on the phone trying to find someone to help us get a therapeautic placement for him. I finally talked one awesome facility into it when my parents asked to have him stay with them. It was terribly important to my dad to try this before we sent him to "outsiders". Knowing his beliefs about this, and after being worn down by my parents, I agreed. Somehow it has worked. I know not why. I DO know that until we refused to let him stay here, NOTHING had really made an impact on his core beliefs about women. He truly did not think I was strong enough, or had the legal right, to insist he not abuse me physically, emotionally or in any other way he wanted to. He honestly believed he had a legal and moral right to act the way he did. Now he has no idea why he ever thought that. He does admit that my mother said things that contributed greatly to it, often whispered to him as he slept. About how she loved him more than anyone else and if the world was "right" he would live with her. That if he was "bad" enough behaved he could come live with her. I didn't know this until very recently, but am not surprised much by it, in light of her other behavior and the mental breakdown that happened a few years back. Go to [url]www.aetv.com[/url] and watch the full episodes of "Intervention" that are there. Watch them until you realize, deep down, that until you stop supporting her habit she will not EVER get better. You truly are contributing to her DEATH by supporting her. Being homeless is NOT the end of the world. MANY people survive that. It isn't fun, or "nice" but it IS survivable. She will find a drug house to stay in, or someone to take her in. OR she will realize she cannot go on that way and accept treatment - and truly get clean. If you send her to rehab before she hits bottom she will not accept that she needs the help. She won't accept the help until she truly BELIEVES that she has nowhere to go, no way to get better except to get clean. PLEASE watch the show, see that other people are doing it. Contact the show if you think it might help you. Or find a therapist to help you work through your feelings and help you toss her out. Because by providing her with a place to stay you are preventing her from hitting bottom. YOU are SUPPORTING her habit as surely as if you put the drugs into her hand. I am sorry. It hurts to know it is true. It is hard to say it. You have to do it for more than difficult child's sake. You are TEACHING your other kids that it is OK to do what she does. You are ALLOWING her to abuse them every single day. You are teaching them that they deserve her abuse. That they DESERVE it, that it is OK for someone to ABUSE them. If you cannot make her leave for her own sake, maybe you can do it for theirs. PLEASE find a therapist with experience in addiction to help you help your other children. THEY DESERVE BETTER. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Have you ever *really* thrown your kid out?
Top