Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Have you ever *really* thrown your kid out?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="emotionallybankrupt" data-source="post: 368239" data-attributes="member: 8226"><p>Nancy, I've debated about whether I should respond to your post, because it may come in the category of "unsolicited advice" on my part, which I know can be aggravating. On the chance it could be helpful though, I'll just say please forgive me if you didn't want a response.</p><p> </p><p>I had nearly the same scenario as what you describe, not with difficult child but with my ex. He'd left and then decided he wanted to come back, and he banged and banged on the door just like you describe, refusing to leave. I did call the police and he was escorted away. But guess what? The scenario never repeated. He had thought I would give in that day, but when I did the unexpected, he knew we were on different terms. Yes, it's an ugly scene for sure, but it ended that particular power struggle.</p><p> </p><p>When difficult child left I put her on notice that I would do exactly the same thing if she came back on the property. She saw me do it with her dad, and so she knows I mean it. I know it sounds really cold, but my intent is to save us from that scene, and I believe that's exactly what I have done.</p><p> </p><p>It's not that I'm so strong and tough.... At that time, with my ex, I'd retained an excellent lawyer who expected me to follow her directions, and I was more concerned about keeping her as my ally than anything else. I was afraid to make her angry with me because I needed her help so badly. I know in my heart, though, that if I'd ever given in ONE time... he'd just have banged on the door longer the next time. I never would have found my way out of the chaos.</p><p> </p><p>In a strange sort of way, during the time of those nasty interactions wtih him--and stiff lectures from my attorney on what I HAD to do--I learned some lessons that have helped me greatly in dealing with difficult child. In particular, I learned that what I have to DO has little to do with how I FEEL. The making decisions with my head instead of my heart. Tough.</p><p> </p><p>I hope you are able to find your way out of the chaos so you won't have to "live your last years like this," as you say. Good luck to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="emotionallybankrupt, post: 368239, member: 8226"] Nancy, I've debated about whether I should respond to your post, because it may come in the category of "unsolicited advice" on my part, which I know can be aggravating. On the chance it could be helpful though, I'll just say please forgive me if you didn't want a response. I had nearly the same scenario as what you describe, not with difficult child but with my ex. He'd left and then decided he wanted to come back, and he banged and banged on the door just like you describe, refusing to leave. I did call the police and he was escorted away. But guess what? The scenario never repeated. He had thought I would give in that day, but when I did the unexpected, he knew we were on different terms. Yes, it's an ugly scene for sure, but it ended that particular power struggle. When difficult child left I put her on notice that I would do exactly the same thing if she came back on the property. She saw me do it with her dad, and so she knows I mean it. I know it sounds really cold, but my intent is to save us from that scene, and I believe that's exactly what I have done. It's not that I'm so strong and tough.... At that time, with my ex, I'd retained an excellent lawyer who expected me to follow her directions, and I was more concerned about keeping her as my ally than anything else. I was afraid to make her angry with me because I needed her help so badly. I know in my heart, though, that if I'd ever given in ONE time... he'd just have banged on the door longer the next time. I never would have found my way out of the chaos. In a strange sort of way, during the time of those nasty interactions wtih him--and stiff lectures from my attorney on what I HAD to do--I learned some lessons that have helped me greatly in dealing with difficult child. In particular, I learned that what I have to DO has little to do with how I FEEL. The making decisions with my head instead of my heart. Tough. I hope you are able to find your way out of the chaos so you won't have to "live your last years like this," as you say. Good luck to you. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Have you ever *really* thrown your kid out?
Top