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Parent Emeritus
Have you ever *really* thrown your kid out?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 368317"><p>Hi Everyone,</p><p></p><p>Well I have just started reading this forum and this is my first post. The answer is yes we threw our son our 1 month ago. We did not want to go this route at all but we had to. He is 18. He was flagrantly violating the few rules we had including using our car one night without permission. We sat down with him the next day and hoped to tell him he had to follow our rules, we would give him 2 weeks to do it, and if he could not he would have to leave. Well the conversation got difficult fast and he ended up threatening us. At that point it was just clear to me that the message he would get if we let him stay was that he could violate any and all rules we had, and if he didn't like what we said he could threaten us physically to get his way. That was not the life lessons I want him to learn. They were much worse than any message he would get by us kicking him out. So we told him then he had to leave and we gave him 3 hours. He told us he would not go. So yes we did go to the police and had them come and remove him. I don't know what state you are in but are your sure you have to start eviction proceedings? All we had to do was give him a no trespass order which is very simple. I wouldn't think you would have to do eviction proceedings unless she was paying rent. </p><p> So he is staying with a friend. On a therapists advice we did not wait until he contacted us. We tried to keep the door open to him without inviting him back home. So I would text him (we are keeping his phone on) etc. He did not respond for several days and then got into trouble and did call us. I think it was important that we have kept the door open. So our relationship is not very good at the moment, he only contacts us when he wants something, but at least he does contact us. I have since then gotten to know a bit the father of where he is staying and so I feel he is basically safe and getting some support. But when we kicked him out we were not sure he had anywhere to go. </p><p> It was very very hard at first, but it has been better for all of us. I think he is learning some hard lessons and is hopefully starting to sort some thngs out.</p><p> I think sometimes you just have to take the stand that you wont put up with the mistreatment any more. It is better for them as well as you. So the thing to look at is it really helping your daugther to live with you with the way she is behaving. What lessons is she learning by doing that?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 368317"] Hi Everyone, Well I have just started reading this forum and this is my first post. The answer is yes we threw our son our 1 month ago. We did not want to go this route at all but we had to. He is 18. He was flagrantly violating the few rules we had including using our car one night without permission. We sat down with him the next day and hoped to tell him he had to follow our rules, we would give him 2 weeks to do it, and if he could not he would have to leave. Well the conversation got difficult fast and he ended up threatening us. At that point it was just clear to me that the message he would get if we let him stay was that he could violate any and all rules we had, and if he didn't like what we said he could threaten us physically to get his way. That was not the life lessons I want him to learn. They were much worse than any message he would get by us kicking him out. So we told him then he had to leave and we gave him 3 hours. He told us he would not go. So yes we did go to the police and had them come and remove him. I don't know what state you are in but are your sure you have to start eviction proceedings? All we had to do was give him a no trespass order which is very simple. I wouldn't think you would have to do eviction proceedings unless she was paying rent. So he is staying with a friend. On a therapists advice we did not wait until he contacted us. We tried to keep the door open to him without inviting him back home. So I would text him (we are keeping his phone on) etc. He did not respond for several days and then got into trouble and did call us. I think it was important that we have kept the door open. So our relationship is not very good at the moment, he only contacts us when he wants something, but at least he does contact us. I have since then gotten to know a bit the father of where he is staying and so I feel he is basically safe and getting some support. But when we kicked him out we were not sure he had anywhere to go. It was very very hard at first, but it has been better for all of us. I think he is learning some hard lessons and is hopefully starting to sort some thngs out. I think sometimes you just have to take the stand that you wont put up with the mistreatment any more. It is better for them as well as you. So the thing to look at is it really helping your daugther to live with you with the way she is behaving. What lessons is she learning by doing that? [/QUOTE]
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Have you ever *really* thrown your kid out?
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