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Have you ever *really* thrown your kid out?
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<blockquote data-quote="Bean" data-source="post: 368355" data-attributes="member: 8620"><p>Welcome to the forum, toughlovin, and thanks for your reply. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>I think it is helpful and hurtful. (see below)</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>Our daughter's arrest was due to a domestic dispute. She hit her father, not the first time, and the police were called. Because of her age, she was taken to jail. She was living with us at the time. After getting probation, she continued to violate and ended up back in jail a few times, but then also went to treatment, group home, etc. She had a lot of services and basically snowplowed her way through all of them. But, in that time, she turned 18 and during one tx bout, we told her she couldn't come home. That the rest of the family had suffered enough and we couldn't allow our house to have that kind of chaos.</p><p></p><p>She went to live with my parents. Not a <em>good</em> idea, honestly, because they are enablers, and because of the stress is places on our relationship. Looking back, I wish my parents would have not let her live there. She was on paper, and her PO would have had to deal with her homelessness. I begged my parents to kick her out and let him come up with a solution, but enablers don't tend to do that.</p><p></p><p>A year later, she's back with us. So, when I say "good" I think she has long yearned to live with her brothers and parents, with our family, under better terms. I think it is good for her spirit. But for her growing, I'm not sure. But what is good for HER is not always good for everyone else. And we have more to worry about than just our daughter. If she can't pull it together here, she'll have to leave. And so far it is looking like that. She has 1 more week to make significant strides in changing her behavior. We will see how it goes. My fear is that she will keep bending and bending the rules to the point of running the house. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes I feel like I'm always the "heavy" though. Last night she came home at 2am (seemingly sober) and my husband let her in. The rule is 11pm or you find somewhere to stay for the night. I think he shouldn't have answered the door.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bean, post: 368355, member: 8620"] Welcome to the forum, toughlovin, and thanks for your reply. :) I think it is helpful and hurtful. (see below) Our daughter's arrest was due to a domestic dispute. She hit her father, not the first time, and the police were called. Because of her age, she was taken to jail. She was living with us at the time. After getting probation, she continued to violate and ended up back in jail a few times, but then also went to treatment, group home, etc. She had a lot of services and basically snowplowed her way through all of them. But, in that time, she turned 18 and during one tx bout, we told her she couldn't come home. That the rest of the family had suffered enough and we couldn't allow our house to have that kind of chaos. She went to live with my parents. Not a [I]good[/I] idea, honestly, because they are enablers, and because of the stress is places on our relationship. Looking back, I wish my parents would have not let her live there. She was on paper, and her PO would have had to deal with her homelessness. I begged my parents to kick her out and let him come up with a solution, but enablers don't tend to do that. A year later, she's back with us. So, when I say "good" I think she has long yearned to live with her brothers and parents, with our family, under better terms. I think it is good for her spirit. But for her growing, I'm not sure. But what is good for HER is not always good for everyone else. And we have more to worry about than just our daughter. If she can't pull it together here, she'll have to leave. And so far it is looking like that. She has 1 more week to make significant strides in changing her behavior. We will see how it goes. My fear is that she will keep bending and bending the rules to the point of running the house. Sometimes I feel like I'm always the "heavy" though. Last night she came home at 2am (seemingly sober) and my husband let her in. The rule is 11pm or you find somewhere to stay for the night. I think he shouldn't have answered the door. [/QUOTE]
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Have you ever *really* thrown your kid out?
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