Haven't been here since '04...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by cuz_is_back, Feb 2, 2007.

  1. cuz_is_back

    cuz_is_back New Member

    Wow, what a difference! Looks great Fran!

    Alot has happened to my children and I since I was last here. What a long haul, but we're doing ok. Life took a turn. Who knew. I had it all! He took it all! A stay at home mom of 22yrs, he just cut me off of everything! It has been a mess.

    I wish I could have been here for support but he took that too!!

    So, buttom line...no matter how secure you may think you are in life...someone can take it all away.

    Left homeless @ 42..trying to rebuild my life.

  2. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    Jan, I'm so sorry. I wish we knew.
    Where are you now? Are the kids with you? Where is ex ?
    Congrats on difficult child graduating. I know that was a good day for me when difficult child graduated high school.
    Sounds like you are on the way back up from a long dark fall. Many hugs and welcome back.
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to read that you have suffered. Two women I knew
    had the same experience and since I was only in my 20's when
    I saw their despair (one lady was 62 years old and all the
    assets were shuttled out of her name before she knew) and
    changed my concept of future security.

    I am sending hugs and prayers your way. You can do it. DDD
  4. cuz_is_back

    cuz_is_back New Member

    I was used, abused, and screwed.

    He is in the 3 bdrm bglw, with-the 2 bdrm apt. the pool, hot tub, 5 vans {he's a car dealer}. $200,000.00 in equity disappeared, life insur. policies cancelled. All chattels.

    I got the kids, and the clothes on my back that don't fit because I lost 60lbs b4 I left.

    I thought I handled it the right way...I didn't take the kids to a shelter. Instead I found a roof over our heads and that screwed me! I should have gone to the shelter and did it their way.

    I have aged 10yrs in 3. My dr. says I am in "reactive depression" and has put me on medications but....I don't like pills and pills don't like me. I had to stop them. I have been ordered bed rest and to put weight on. He also doesn't want me trying to find work the way I am right now and has told the courts I am unable to work.

    The kids are doing ok, but it has been very difficult for them as their father has cut them off as well. They went from, him giving them everything, to $308.00 a month support. $5.06 a day to feed his 2 well feed kids. Oh, and I have'nt recieved a penny in sp. support...I am shocked that this type of thing can happen! He has claimed me on his income tax return for 22yrs...um, HELLO !!!!

    All in all, difficult child has pulled through!! I don't know what I would have done with-out her or her brother throughout all this.

    I long for the shaking to stop...the phone rings, I jump. I see him, I tremble. But I have to talk to him bc of the kids.

    Childrens lawyer is an a**hole. If you only knew.

    I am going to make a cup of tea....I'm getting all worked up!

  5. KateM

    KateM Member


    So sorry to hear of your troubles! Glad you're back; you will get alot of support here.

    Way To Go about HS graduation! It's a milestone to celebrate.

    Sending good thoughts your way! :smile:
  6. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    hi Cuz, I remember you and am sorry to hear of your troubles. one day may you look back and thank him for your new happy life and wonderful new partner.
  7. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    sorry that things have been so tough for you and the kids. What a bonehead your ex is - that's a nice word - we can't use the word for what he really is on the forum.

    You have reached out to old friends - we are taking your hand in support. We are always here.

  8. Lori4ever

    Lori4ever New Member

    I'm so sorry. Sounds like he is a piece of work. I hope you do end up with much better, although I do know that that takes time. I'm sorry you're hurting. You and the kids deserve better.
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry. He sounds like a complete and total jerk. Hugs to you.
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So sorry... wow. Yes, a cup of tea.

    I know you want emotional support, and we can give it, but after reading your note all I could think of was "get a good lawyer!!!!!" There is no reason anyone should get away with-all that your ex has and not support the kids. Your ex is clearly a deadbeat dad. In our state, they can print the names in the paper... but first, you have to go to court.

    And before that, you need to rest and relax. A cup of tea is a good idea.

    Do you have any brothers, sister, cousins, friends, etc. who can help you out?
  11. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    I'm so sorry you are going through this. I have been there done that. I know dirty divorces inside and out. I wish I didn't.

    (((hugs))) and welcome back.

  12. kris

    kris New Member

    <font color="green">jen, i do remember you. i'm so sorry for what you are going through.

    are there any womens' groups up there who can help you with-the legal end of things? help you get a lawyer free/or cheap that will beat him to death in a courtroom???

    kris </font>
  13. cuz_is_back

    cuz_is_back New Member

    Thanks for the hugs!

    Well, I have gone through two lawyers. The first, his lawyers' buddy, much to my surprise!! Did nothing but help :censored2: me!

    Apparently, he is allow to stop functioning, refuse to work, tell me to get a job and start supporting him! I refuse to do it his way and well, I lost the roof over my head!! He locked me out!! Sold vehicles, made threat after threat, assulted me, put the kids through hell and cut them off financially as well!!

    Childrens' lawyer has spent a total of 20mins with-me and apparently knows whats best! He won't listen to the concerns that difficult child has about her 10 yr old easy child brother while at Dads'.

    Gang...I was a neighbourhood mom, did everything for him! I bought and wore 2nd hand clothes and a pair of running shoes would last me yrs! Every dime went into that house and now he has it all!!!! $200,000.00 equity, gone...in his pocket!! I have things on tape threatening what he was going to do, did do, and is still doing and NO ONE WILL LISTEN TO THEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I have lost family members over this....my baby brother says; "How could you do this to him!"

    Running, screaming, while pulling hair out!!!!!!!!!!!

    deep breath.
  14. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    I am so sorry you are going through this. I would like to add my hugs and positive (well ok I am thinking evil thoughts about your ex) but positive thoughts for you that things will look up. Keep taking those deep breaths.

  15. Irene_J

    Irene_J New Member


    I just recently got divorced, so I know how difficult it can be. Especially when your ex is a jerk.

    Allow yourself a certain amount of time to rage over the injustices you have suffered, then try to let it go. Continue to fight for what is due you from the marriage, but don't waste your energy on your ex. Plan your new and better life without him.

    Although I wasn't cut off from the joint assets, I too felt that my ex-husband would receive too much in the divorce. I raged to my attorney about being penalized for being more successful than he and vowed to fight for every penny. I couldn't keep up the energy level needed for such outrage.

    Perhaps you do need a different attorney. You would certainly appear to be eligible for spousal and child support. I have never understood how a man can reject his children, no matter what the circumstances are with the mother. Remember, it's his loss.

    Perhaps your future is brighter without this person in your life.