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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 250756" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Hi Kjs,</p><p>welcome to our little corner--I know you are not knew to CD, just to PE! I had to kick out my dtr when she was 18. She had a boyfriend (26 yrs old) so she left with him and they stayed in homeless shelters while trying to con people into taking them in. One thing to know, these kids are very resourceful when they have to be. I don't think your son has any business living with you when he treats you so badly.</p><p></p><p>I have a 24 yr old son who was living with us while he opened a restaurant business. He had been to college for 2 yrs but got into trouble with drinking there and had community service to do. He didn't do it, hence he was unable to continue. He came back to our town, got work, moved out of our house, then moved back in. The thing is, he was very grateful for having a place to stay. He treated us with respect and he basically ran his own life. He had to work 14-16 hr days with his restaurant so we hardly saw him. The restaurant ended up failing and he was very depressed. But, he got on with his life, moved out to the west coast and is now getting back on his feet--has a job, a place to live, etc. He feels good about himself because he is doing it on his own. He would like to go back to college--well, he is nearly 25 and he will have to finance that on his own. He has debts he has not paid, including college loans. He will pay them or he won't, not my problem. He's an adult man now, he has to figure this stuff out himself.</p><p></p><p>I guess my point is, your son is an adult now. He cannot feel good about anything he does if he is dependent on you. I think that may be why he is so mean to you--he probably hates his life and his dependence and he is lashing out at you. You need to stand up to him--and I don't think you should be expecting husband to do it for you--you need to do it yourself. He is not going to treat you well just because husband tells him to. You need to demand it for yourself.</p><p></p><p>I do think you have to get him out of your house--for his sake as well as yours.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 250756, member: 3450"] Hi Kjs, welcome to our little corner--I know you are not knew to CD, just to PE! I had to kick out my dtr when she was 18. She had a boyfriend (26 yrs old) so she left with him and they stayed in homeless shelters while trying to con people into taking them in. One thing to know, these kids are very resourceful when they have to be. I don't think your son has any business living with you when he treats you so badly. I have a 24 yr old son who was living with us while he opened a restaurant business. He had been to college for 2 yrs but got into trouble with drinking there and had community service to do. He didn't do it, hence he was unable to continue. He came back to our town, got work, moved out of our house, then moved back in. The thing is, he was very grateful for having a place to stay. He treated us with respect and he basically ran his own life. He had to work 14-16 hr days with his restaurant so we hardly saw him. The restaurant ended up failing and he was very depressed. But, he got on with his life, moved out to the west coast and is now getting back on his feet--has a job, a place to live, etc. He feels good about himself because he is doing it on his own. He would like to go back to college--well, he is nearly 25 and he will have to finance that on his own. He has debts he has not paid, including college loans. He will pay them or he won't, not my problem. He's an adult man now, he has to figure this stuff out himself. I guess my point is, your son is an adult now. He cannot feel good about anything he does if he is dependent on you. I think that may be why he is so mean to you--he probably hates his life and his dependence and he is lashing out at you. You need to stand up to him--and I don't think you should be expecting husband to do it for you--you need to do it yourself. He is not going to treat you well just because husband tells him to. You need to demand it for yourself. I do think you have to get him out of your house--for his sake as well as yours. Hugs, Jane [/QUOTE]
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