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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 250767" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Well, if this isn't the million dollar question...I wish I knew kjs. It's mostly likely because you stick around and take it. Maybe you complain about it or yell about it or cry about it, but by sticking around, you're accepting it to a degree. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">I know how you feel. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">You're afraid of not helping difficult child with his school work, you're afraid of the confrontations with H, you're afraid to not pay certain bills or not do certain chores....because you know they won't get done or that people will criticize you or try to make you feel guilty. And because you already carry a lot of guilt for things that are not yours to feel guilty about, whammo! You feel guilty. And so, you keep doing, keep being the strong one, stay and put up with it.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">But at a certain point, and only you know when that is, you will stop being the doormat for all three of them and begin to care for yourself, nurture yourself and treat yourself with the level of respect you want others to treat you with.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">How to meet people? Explore some hobbies and while checking them out, you will meet people. I love going to the library, I'm a reader. I meet people there. I recently took up crocheting and went to a yarn store and met some nice ladies as well. How about joining a local gardening group, or if your town has a rec center, joining an adult sport like pick up volleyball or taking a yoga class? We have an arts center nearby where we can take painting, pottery, drawing, ink, etc. - great way to meet people with similar interests. Or take a class through your local adult ed program - they are inexpensive and offer a lot of different things to learn that can be a lot of fun. My problem was finding things I was really interested in doing. Another way to meet people is through volunteer work, which may prove to be too much for you given the responsibilities you currently have - or, you could do something on a small scale, like a Spring town cleanup. We have a river nearby and every Spring there is a 'cleanup' volunteer thing. It's a great way to spend a day outdoors, meeting new people and doing something worthwhile. </span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 250767, member: 2211"] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Well, if this isn't the million dollar question...I wish I knew kjs. It's mostly likely because you stick around and take it. Maybe you complain about it or yell about it or cry about it, but by sticking around, you're accepting it to a degree. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]I know how you feel. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]You're afraid of not helping difficult child with his school work, you're afraid of the confrontations with H, you're afraid to not pay certain bills or not do certain chores....because you know they won't get done or that people will criticize you or try to make you feel guilty. And because you already carry a lot of guilt for things that are not yours to feel guilty about, whammo! You feel guilty. And so, you keep doing, keep being the strong one, stay and put up with it.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]But at a certain point, and only you know when that is, you will stop being the doormat for all three of them and begin to care for yourself, nurture yourself and treat yourself with the level of respect you want others to treat you with.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]How to meet people? Explore some hobbies and while checking them out, you will meet people. I love going to the library, I'm a reader. I meet people there. I recently took up crocheting and went to a yarn store and met some nice ladies as well. How about joining a local gardening group, or if your town has a rec center, joining an adult sport like pick up volleyball or taking a yoga class? We have an arts center nearby where we can take painting, pottery, drawing, ink, etc. - great way to meet people with similar interests. Or take a class through your local adult ed program - they are inexpensive and offer a lot of different things to learn that can be a lot of fun. My problem was finding things I was really interested in doing. Another way to meet people is through volunteer work, which may prove to be too much for you given the responsibilities you currently have - or, you could do something on a small scale, like a Spring town cleanup. We have a river nearby and every Spring there is a 'cleanup' volunteer thing. It's a great way to spend a day outdoors, meeting new people and doing something worthwhile. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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