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<blockquote data-quote="C.J." data-source="post: 250848" data-attributes="member: 1987"><p>I've been reading your other posts in general and watercooler for awhile. If I remember correctly, you and husband have been seeing someone for marital counseling - and that's not going all that well either...???</p><p></p><p>If you're up to some tough love suggestions:</p><p></p><p>1. Look at yourself in the mirror every day and repeat this: I am worthy of respect. I am worthy of respect from my husband and children. I am worthy of respect from my husband and my children, and I am worthy of respect from myself. I will treat myself with respect. At some point every day, I will be my own priority. </p><p></p><p>Do this until you feel yourself becoming stronger. Remember the woman in the mirror. She is worthy of respect.</p><p></p><p>2. Stop paying your adult son's bills. Today. Seriously, stop. He has not taken the responsibility to do this himself. You are enabling him to remain wallowing in his own self pity. He can contact his creditors. He can work out repayment plans. This is HIS responsibility.</p><p></p><p>3. Cell phone - if he cannot afford this luxury, you do not need to provide it for him.</p><p></p><p>4. Guests in your home are GUESTS. When they overstay their welcome, they will be asked to leave. If they don't leave when asked, advise the guest the police will be contacted. Then do it.</p><p></p><p>5. If violence toward you or your belongings occur - or is threatened, contact the police. See suggestion #1. </p><p></p><p>6. If there is no one in your home who appreciates what you are doing for the good of all, stop doing it. </p><p></p><p>I hope this is something you and your counselor will discuss very soon. For your own peace of mind, you may have to cut back on being the helicopter wife/mother who is saving everyone else. Your helicopter is being held together by chewing gum, a safety pin, and a little duct tape. The engine is in need of a complete overhaul, and the fuel in the tank is running on empty. If that helicopter doesn't come in for some serious repairs, and a little down time, it will crash and burn.</p><p></p><p>Welcome to PE - come in for a tune up anytime.</p><p></p><p><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="C.J., post: 250848, member: 1987"] I've been reading your other posts in general and watercooler for awhile. If I remember correctly, you and husband have been seeing someone for marital counseling - and that's not going all that well either...??? If you're up to some tough love suggestions: 1. Look at yourself in the mirror every day and repeat this: I am worthy of respect. I am worthy of respect from my husband and children. I am worthy of respect from my husband and my children, and I am worthy of respect from myself. I will treat myself with respect. At some point every day, I will be my own priority. Do this until you feel yourself becoming stronger. Remember the woman in the mirror. She is worthy of respect. 2. Stop paying your adult son's bills. Today. Seriously, stop. He has not taken the responsibility to do this himself. You are enabling him to remain wallowing in his own self pity. He can contact his creditors. He can work out repayment plans. This is HIS responsibility. 3. Cell phone - if he cannot afford this luxury, you do not need to provide it for him. 4. Guests in your home are GUESTS. When they overstay their welcome, they will be asked to leave. If they don't leave when asked, advise the guest the police will be contacted. Then do it. 5. If violence toward you or your belongings occur - or is threatened, contact the police. See suggestion #1. 6. If there is no one in your home who appreciates what you are doing for the good of all, stop doing it. I hope this is something you and your counselor will discuss very soon. For your own peace of mind, you may have to cut back on being the helicopter wife/mother who is saving everyone else. Your helicopter is being held together by chewing gum, a safety pin, and a little duct tape. The engine is in need of a complete overhaul, and the fuel in the tank is running on empty. If that helicopter doesn't come in for some serious repairs, and a little down time, it will crash and burn. Welcome to PE - come in for a tune up anytime. :) [/QUOTE]
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