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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 315270" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>Sorry things are so rough in your home. It isn't easy is it? (((hugs)))</p><p>I couldn't for the life of me get Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement either, even with it being free in Canada. It wasn't a money thing. It was the agency that does placement. They badgered me to put him into Residential Treatment Center (RTC) when I felt we hadn't exhausted options at home. Then when things were exhausted? They committed to getting him a bed when one became available. While waiting, things got out of control and I did make the decision to place him into foster care. I know how heartbreaking it is to decide you can no longer have your own child in your home, and the whole foster home ideal etc. difficult child ended up in a theraputic foster home that was designed to work with kids like my difficult child. It was just about a 3 month placement. Then of course the agency refused a bed to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) with no notice. They informed difficult child who then informed me? No discussion. Nothing. I was livid! He came home the same day at my insistence. </p><p>He was treated well in his placement. Because it was a voluntary foster care situation, I had good communication with the foster parents. They were receptive, they worked with me to implement rules etc in their home that would be used in my home so that it was consistent between both places. difficult child hated it initially. Since they were good people, he got over it quick. Sad to be away from home, but realized why he was away from home and what the goals were (always the goal was to come home, when it was safe and healthy for the entire household to have him back home, onus on him). He to this day enjoys running into the fosters at the mall etc.</p><p>It is a scary leap to make. I hope that whatever comes of your situation, it is to your difficult child's benefit as well as your entire household. There is no perfect solution for us or any of our kids. All placements out of the home are painful. It is a loss to us from what we expected to have as our future when we became parents. It is heartbreaking to think your child must not be in our own homes. But sometimes it can be something that helps the family. Sometimes it is just a much needed break while we figure out where to go from there in helping our child and recharging our batteries and putting back in perspective what we often lose from the sheer trials of trying to parent children that are resistent to parenting. </p><p>Be kind to yourself. Gentle with yourself. You're human and not superhuman. These kids are loved, but not easy are they? More hugs for you and I truly hope you find a solution that benefits all of you long term.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 315270, member: 4264"] Sorry things are so rough in your home. It isn't easy is it? (((hugs))) I couldn't for the life of me get Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement either, even with it being free in Canada. It wasn't a money thing. It was the agency that does placement. They badgered me to put him into Residential Treatment Center (RTC) when I felt we hadn't exhausted options at home. Then when things were exhausted? They committed to getting him a bed when one became available. While waiting, things got out of control and I did make the decision to place him into foster care. I know how heartbreaking it is to decide you can no longer have your own child in your home, and the whole foster home ideal etc. difficult child ended up in a theraputic foster home that was designed to work with kids like my difficult child. It was just about a 3 month placement. Then of course the agency refused a bed to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) with no notice. They informed difficult child who then informed me? No discussion. Nothing. I was livid! He came home the same day at my insistence. He was treated well in his placement. Because it was a voluntary foster care situation, I had good communication with the foster parents. They were receptive, they worked with me to implement rules etc in their home that would be used in my home so that it was consistent between both places. difficult child hated it initially. Since they were good people, he got over it quick. Sad to be away from home, but realized why he was away from home and what the goals were (always the goal was to come home, when it was safe and healthy for the entire household to have him back home, onus on him). He to this day enjoys running into the fosters at the mall etc. It is a scary leap to make. I hope that whatever comes of your situation, it is to your difficult child's benefit as well as your entire household. There is no perfect solution for us or any of our kids. All placements out of the home are painful. It is a loss to us from what we expected to have as our future when we became parents. It is heartbreaking to think your child must not be in our own homes. But sometimes it can be something that helps the family. Sometimes it is just a much needed break while we figure out where to go from there in helping our child and recharging our batteries and putting back in perspective what we often lose from the sheer trials of trying to parent children that are resistent to parenting. Be kind to yourself. Gentle with yourself. You're human and not superhuman. These kids are loved, but not easy are they? More hugs for you and I truly hope you find a solution that benefits all of you long term. [/QUOTE]
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