Part of my mother's rant was about how Wiz thought that something bad/unpleasant would happen if he showed up uninvited for dinner with husband's parents. He simply didn't want to go, was NOT upset by not being called. We DID drop the ball by not calling, but since he has refused at least 20 invitations to do things with us in the last year, we didn't think it was a big deal. Wiz will not commit to anything even a week ahead of time and usually has things he would rather do. He IS 19, after all. My mother apparently was pressuring him to go and he wanted her to let it go. (by the way - he has worked the last several months of that day and time without fail - it is the only part of his schedule that is consistent. It was a time my inlaws picked - NOT a design on our part to exclude him.) So he made up the bit about something bad or unpleasant happening if he wasn't specifically invited. in my opinion this is still more of a typical teen thing to do, and almost any 19yo would say something like that when faced with my mother's interrogations. Gee, he felt just find stopping over with donuts this am with-o asking. This has been part of things that has really really upset me, that Wiz felt that he could not join us with-o a specific invitation. It is nice to find that he does not feel this way. You are all right that the sky will not fall if we do not go to my parents for Christmas. I am going to make a short visit because otherwise my daughter will refuse to go. She WANTS to go but feels that she will be a target of my mother's rage if I am not there. I don't know if I will EVER go over there again after this. Certainly not without the kids asking me to. Hugs to all. Thanks you from the bottom of my heart for all your support. I HATE that so many of you have mothers so similar to mine.