he stabbed a classmate with-a pencil

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by lordhelpme, Apr 17, 2007.

  1. lordhelpme

    lordhelpme New Member

    what am i going to do? right now i am so afraid they are going to press charges(i know just paranoid)bu ti would be po'd if i were her parents.

    he told me he meant to stab her but not to hurt her. she was pestering him to stop doing something and so he tried to shut her up. no excuse but how do you tell another parent that it was on purpose but not to harm?

    he said everything was bothering him today so here again i think sensory is playing a bigger role then they think.

    talked to the asst teacher yesterday and he admitted they are not using him like they should. that i need to suggest on next tues bip for them to utilize him to remove difficult child if he is disruptive before a meltdown and to also us him to use more creative ways to assess his retention of material. bless him for having the guts to talk to me as most staff are afraid of the principle to answer my ?'s.

    so i have a ?. do i ask for him to be pulled out of the regular classroom? i obviously do not want him to harm another child. we are a small school district so there is no small Special Education class just the resource room and teachers to help those with-reading and math.
    difficult child is such an extreme for them. we have a therapy appointment tomorrow and i guess i will ask her for immediate suggestions.

    i think i will keep him home all day tomorrow but of course i might get a call later that he is suspended for longer anyway. we are nearing the 10 days but heck there are only 7 wks left.

    ok thanks all for listening.
  2. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member

    Just me, but I wouldn't keep him home from school unless you think he is really out of control, or unless they suspend him.

    Do they have any kind of plan in place right now or are they waiting for next tuesday's bip?

    How and where did he stab her? Was she hurt badly?

    Ask him to be pulled from the regular classroom only if you think that's what's best for him. I often feel guilty about what the other kids in the class have to deal with, but difficult child's 4th grade teacher turned me around and said she thought it was the best thing for her class - they learned a lot more about people and relationships and differences than they would have if difficult child hadn't been in class. And difficult child learned a lot too - in the resource room or a self-contained room he wouldn't have had to develop any social skills. difficult child never stabbed anyone but he has pushed kids, has had a meltdown and the whole class had to leave the room, and has spit in other kids' lunches (the last was in preschool).

    I think it's the school's responsibility to make sure difficult child gets the intervention he needs so I go for the least restrictive environment until they suggest otherwise. I'm not sure this one incident would be enough for me. If it's a pattern that doesn't stop with the BIP, that's another story.

    Good luck.

  3. lordhelpme

    lordhelpme New Member

    thank you linda but the physical lashing out is almost an everyday occurance. he is phys restrained several time/day or wk depending on the wk.

    funny how he had a great day yesterday when he had a sub but he hates his new teacher and i think that is part of the problem. they picked her cuz she offered and is strict but i just don't think she can get out of general ed mode into Special Education mode, Know what I mean??

    i feel that the school has to take a big part of the responsibility they are trying but just not trained n how to deal with-him.
  4. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    Sounds like a self contained classroom would be better at least until he is stabilized.

    If the school district is so small that they can not accomodate him, legally they have to find a way to do it, even if it means paying for private school.

    Are there any Special Education private schools in your area?

    I would post this over in the Special Education forum. Alisha will be able to help with this.

  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Even if your school district has no Special Education, some school district must, and, if your school district can't accomodate him, they, by law, have to bus him to an appropriate setting at no cost to you. My son, who is on the autism spectrum, is bussed to the next school district down (we're in a very small school district too) and he gets door-to-door transportation, and is doing so well that he's practically mainstreamed now (son is almost 14). While I'm posting, since your child has a speech problem as well as behavioral issues, you may want to have him re-evaluated with a neuropsychologist to see if he actually has issues that haven't been caught yet. My son had the gamut of diagnosis: ADHD/ODD/bipolar, but, in reality, he didn't have any of them. The neuropsychologist did so much testing that he caught the core issue, and that's when my son started doing better. I wish you luck. Check around and see which schools have classes you feel would benefit your son. Then get your warrior outfit on! :smile:
  6. oceans

    oceans New Member

    It is true that if they can't provide the services he needs, then they need to send him to a better placement.

    Our school district has a small therapeutic school that takes kids with depression, bipolar and other disorders. I never knew they existed. We actually went to 9th grade before someone mentioned that he needed that school. Now he is going there, and they send a small bus to pick him up and drop him off in front of our house every day. They have a small ratio of 1:4 or 1:6, and they are staffed with behavioral support, therapists, and psychiatrists. They have group therapy on Mondays and many of their psychiatrists check in with them once each week over there.

    Start digging and looking around to see what else might exist in either the district or surrounding districts. There might be something better and you are not aware of it yet.

    The change has been wonderful for my difficult child.
  7. sameold sameold

    sameold sameold New Member

    My difficult child went to a small private school and it was a godsend. He could not handle public school, it was just too unpredictable for him. Our school district had to pay for it, because he could not be educated appropriately in the public school. Good luck
  8. AK0603

    AK0603 New Member

    I didn't want to read and run, although I don't have alot of advice. I live through it day by day....it's so hard, believe me.

    I hope the little girl is okay and hugs to you.