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Substance Abuse
Heard from difficult child today...
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 508486"><p>How do like the minute by mintue updates. LOL. difficult child called. The place is going to call him back. So his current plan is to go for a 2 week stay and then to call the hospital up here and see what it will take for him to get into the outpatient program up here that he liked before... but would not take him without him doing some substance abuse tx first. He is hoping to go back to the sober house up here. I asked him what he would do about transportation and he was not sure. I told him I could not drive him (which was the plan way back when but is really hard on me and which I am no longer willing to do). He said he knew that. I asked him how he was going to get up here? He didn't tell me but said he had a way to get here (means the girlfriend I am sure). I said ok, well it sounds like he has a plan.</p><p></p><p>I actually think the outpatient program up here would be excellent for him and would really help with the personality disorder issues. I think coming back here is frought with problems though... but he really has to figure out how to get better. I didn't make any promises... more asked him how he would do things. If he really does go through treatment and gets set up at the outpatient program and really starts it and gets here then we will consider helping pay rent at the sober house after he does all that. I have no idea what it will take for him to get back into the outpatient program up here... but it is a good one. One of the best I think.</p><p></p><p>So at least he is thinking about what he is going to do... and making a plan... and in some ways it is a good plan... and in some ways it is tied into the girlfriend and that is very problematic.</p><p></p><p>The main thing is his plan does involve getting clean... and he knows full well the outpatient program wont take him or keep him if he is using and if they think he has an active substance abuse problem.</p><p></p><p>I am also glad he called and told me... at some level the fact that he called to tell me all this feels positive. There is some connection still there even if it is tenuous at this point.</p><p></p><p>On another note I was talking to a friend of mine today who is a child and adolescent therapist. He commented that when someone is using drugs their primary relationship is with the drugs not with you!!! That makes a lot of sense and is so true.... so when our kids are actively using their main relationship is with the drugs... and that is what they care about, not us. However it also means that can change when they are not longer using.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 508486"] How do like the minute by mintue updates. LOL. difficult child called. The place is going to call him back. So his current plan is to go for a 2 week stay and then to call the hospital up here and see what it will take for him to get into the outpatient program up here that he liked before... but would not take him without him doing some substance abuse tx first. He is hoping to go back to the sober house up here. I asked him what he would do about transportation and he was not sure. I told him I could not drive him (which was the plan way back when but is really hard on me and which I am no longer willing to do). He said he knew that. I asked him how he was going to get up here? He didn't tell me but said he had a way to get here (means the girlfriend I am sure). I said ok, well it sounds like he has a plan. I actually think the outpatient program up here would be excellent for him and would really help with the personality disorder issues. I think coming back here is frought with problems though... but he really has to figure out how to get better. I didn't make any promises... more asked him how he would do things. If he really does go through treatment and gets set up at the outpatient program and really starts it and gets here then we will consider helping pay rent at the sober house after he does all that. I have no idea what it will take for him to get back into the outpatient program up here... but it is a good one. One of the best I think. So at least he is thinking about what he is going to do... and making a plan... and in some ways it is a good plan... and in some ways it is tied into the girlfriend and that is very problematic. The main thing is his plan does involve getting clean... and he knows full well the outpatient program wont take him or keep him if he is using and if they think he has an active substance abuse problem. I am also glad he called and told me... at some level the fact that he called to tell me all this feels positive. There is some connection still there even if it is tenuous at this point. On another note I was talking to a friend of mine today who is a child and adolescent therapist. He commented that when someone is using drugs their primary relationship is with the drugs not with you!!! That makes a lot of sense and is so true.... so when our kids are actively using their main relationship is with the drugs... and that is what they care about, not us. However it also means that can change when they are not longer using. TL [/QUOTE]
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