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Heartbreaking
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 623952" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Welcome Khazeray. I am so very sorry you are going through this with your son. You've come to a comforting place where others know how you feel. I'm glad you found us. It is devastating to go through this with one son, but to lose a son and then go through it again, would make anyone feel the way you do. I'm glad you have support, that is a very important and valuable asset.</p><p></p><p>There is an article at the bottom of my post here which you might find interesting, it explains detachment. </p><p></p><p>I believe the way to cope with this kind of trauma is to make sure you put your health and your well being as a top priority. Others have mentioned families anonymous and other 12 step groups, that is a way you can find pretty continual support. You can also contact NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental illness, which you can access on line, they have chapters everywhere. They offer excellent courses for US, the parents, to give us support and tools and understanding. If you don't already have a therapist, it may be helpful to find one for yourself. The landscape you find yourself on is very, very challenging and one of the most important solutions to feeling better is to surround yourself with support.</p><p></p><p>There is mental illness all through my family as well, so I understand and can empathize with you. Dealing with mental illness is a unique path riddled with very skewered thinking, often substance abuse and also often high levels of intelligence which can lend itself to remarkable abilities for manipulation and deception. Being surrounded by that level of imbalance takes an enormous toll on us, it's exhausting and robs us of our ability to experience joy. </p><p></p><p>The most important thing for you to do right now is to take care of YOU. If you are feeling healthier and stronger, you can make better choices. Put your focus on you and what you need. </p><p></p><p>We will circle our wagons around you. You are not alone. There are many of us here who are in similar shoes and we can offer you an understanding ear and a safe place to share your heartbreak...........our hearts have been broken too. Hang in there Khazeray. Wishing you comfort. Keep posting it helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 623952, member: 13542"] Welcome Khazeray. I am so very sorry you are going through this with your son. You've come to a comforting place where others know how you feel. I'm glad you found us. It is devastating to go through this with one son, but to lose a son and then go through it again, would make anyone feel the way you do. I'm glad you have support, that is a very important and valuable asset. There is an article at the bottom of my post here which you might find interesting, it explains detachment. I believe the way to cope with this kind of trauma is to make sure you put your health and your well being as a top priority. Others have mentioned families anonymous and other 12 step groups, that is a way you can find pretty continual support. You can also contact NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental illness, which you can access on line, they have chapters everywhere. They offer excellent courses for US, the parents, to give us support and tools and understanding. If you don't already have a therapist, it may be helpful to find one for yourself. The landscape you find yourself on is very, very challenging and one of the most important solutions to feeling better is to surround yourself with support. There is mental illness all through my family as well, so I understand and can empathize with you. Dealing with mental illness is a unique path riddled with very skewered thinking, often substance abuse and also often high levels of intelligence which can lend itself to remarkable abilities for manipulation and deception. Being surrounded by that level of imbalance takes an enormous toll on us, it's exhausting and robs us of our ability to experience joy. The most important thing for you to do right now is to take care of YOU. If you are feeling healthier and stronger, you can make better choices. Put your focus on you and what you need. We will circle our wagons around you. You are not alone. There are many of us here who are in similar shoes and we can offer you an understanding ear and a safe place to share your heartbreak...........our hearts have been broken too. Hang in there Khazeray. Wishing you comfort. Keep posting it helps. [/QUOTE]
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