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Hello all I am new here.
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 112596" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Welcome aboard. I'm sure you are looking for support and this is</p><p>a very supportive group. Do you have anyone who is mature and</p><p>experienced in life/family management available to lend you a hand? </p><p></p><p>Lots of questions...sorry. Have you or your husband ever been diagnosed with any disorders such as ADHD or ODD or BiPolar (BP)? Often</p><p>times behaviors run in family lines which might indicate how your</p><p>son got to be such a handfull. Are you and the children in the</p><p>same home you were in before the separation? If not, that means</p><p>they suffered a loss of environment which always is difficult for</p><p>children. If so, then they "lost" Daddy (it doesn't matter whether he was terrible or terrific) which is a huge loss and then they had a new opinionated guy move in with an attitude.</p><p>Yikes! </p><p></p><p>I have been a single Mom with three kids who missed their "Daddy"</p><p>more after he was gone than they ever did when he lived at home.</p><p>You can handle three or four kids with the right supports. The</p><p>"right" support does not mean a man...especially a man who is</p><p>judgemental and threatening. If you believe he is a worthwhile</p><p>person then you can share custody of the baby with him after the</p><p>baby is born. You do NOT need him now. Reach out for parenting</p><p>classes, family therapy groups, or whatever is available in your</p><p>community. Make up YOUR mind that YOU can do it as an adult female without a crutch. If you can not handle all the kids then</p><p>bite you lip and see if your son can temporarily live with his</p><p>biodad.</p><p></p><p>Have you ever heard the really old expression "don't jump from the frying pan into the fire"?? Honestly, I think that is what</p><p>you have done. Don't keep things the way they are. Your new</p><p>man is not going to stay with you for the long run, I'd bet money</p><p>on it. Figure out how to say "goodbye" to him and "hello" to any</p><p>professional or helpful group that can support you as you learn to be an independent woman. Sending hugs of support your way.DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 112596, member: 35"] Welcome aboard. I'm sure you are looking for support and this is a very supportive group. Do you have anyone who is mature and experienced in life/family management available to lend you a hand? Lots of questions...sorry. Have you or your husband ever been diagnosed with any disorders such as ADHD or ODD or BiPolar (BP)? Often times behaviors run in family lines which might indicate how your son got to be such a handfull. Are you and the children in the same home you were in before the separation? If not, that means they suffered a loss of environment which always is difficult for children. If so, then they "lost" Daddy (it doesn't matter whether he was terrible or terrific) which is a huge loss and then they had a new opinionated guy move in with an attitude. Yikes! I have been a single Mom with three kids who missed their "Daddy" more after he was gone than they ever did when he lived at home. You can handle three or four kids with the right supports. The "right" support does not mean a man...especially a man who is judgemental and threatening. If you believe he is a worthwhile person then you can share custody of the baby with him after the baby is born. You do NOT need him now. Reach out for parenting classes, family therapy groups, or whatever is available in your community. Make up YOUR mind that YOU can do it as an adult female without a crutch. If you can not handle all the kids then bite you lip and see if your son can temporarily live with his biodad. Have you ever heard the really old expression "don't jump from the frying pan into the fire"?? Honestly, I think that is what you have done. Don't keep things the way they are. Your new man is not going to stay with you for the long run, I'd bet money on it. Figure out how to say "goodbye" to him and "hello" to any professional or helpful group that can support you as you learn to be an independent woman. Sending hugs of support your way.DDD [/QUOTE]
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