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Hello my friends! I need advice....
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<blockquote data-quote="hearthope" data-source="post: 67757" data-attributes="member: 2389"><p>I am not making any calls to help difficult child out in any way.</p><p>Each time I considered it, I reminded myself I had to let him suffer this one out. I have always rescued and I am learning that 'rescuing' is the easy way out. You make difficult child feel better because you are 'fixing' the problem and you feel better because you think you are 'proving' your love and devotion to your child.</p><p></p><p>All rescuing on my part has amounted to difficult child thinking he can get away with what others are punished for doing.</p><p></p><p>He is 18, he has to see that he can't continue this way, so I am totally out of it.</p><p></p><p>He wants us to 'talk'. He has been building on this the last 2 times we have talked. He has said exactly what I want hear and has tried to put the ball in my court several times in regards to what happens now.</p><p></p><p>I am going this coming sunday to visit. </p><p>This is when he wants us to 'talk'</p><p></p><p>I do not want to handle this wrong, any advice is greatly appreciated!</p><p></p><p>I don't want to put any demands on him (you do this and you can get this sort of thing)</p><p></p><p>My wish would be for him to WANT to attend the yr long program at Cannan Land, but that is my wish.</p><p></p><p>I have to let him know that he can only show me the results now, all the promising to change means nothing.</p><p></p><p>I always told him I would move a mountain for him if he was living right but I would not help him go down the wrong road,</p><p></p><p>How do I handle this and stick to my word?</p><p></p><p>He is clean now because he is locked up. He says he wants to change, but he can't show that where he is.</p><p></p><p>Do I totally detach and let him struggle when he gets out? Do I give a hand up so that he can have an option other than running to difficult child buddies to have somewhere to live?</p><p></p><p>Do I give him the Canaan land info and a list of rehabs, shelters and say call me when your straight and then I will move the mountain for you?</p><p></p><p>NOTHING I HAVE EVER DONE HAS MADE A DIFFERENCE!!</p><p></p><p>I have never been able to detach until recently and need advice with this...</p><p></p><p>Traci</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearthope, post: 67757, member: 2389"] I am not making any calls to help difficult child out in any way. Each time I considered it, I reminded myself I had to let him suffer this one out. I have always rescued and I am learning that 'rescuing' is the easy way out. You make difficult child feel better because you are 'fixing' the problem and you feel better because you think you are 'proving' your love and devotion to your child. All rescuing on my part has amounted to difficult child thinking he can get away with what others are punished for doing. He is 18, he has to see that he can't continue this way, so I am totally out of it. He wants us to 'talk'. He has been building on this the last 2 times we have talked. He has said exactly what I want hear and has tried to put the ball in my court several times in regards to what happens now. I am going this coming sunday to visit. This is when he wants us to 'talk' I do not want to handle this wrong, any advice is greatly appreciated! I don't want to put any demands on him (you do this and you can get this sort of thing) My wish would be for him to WANT to attend the yr long program at Cannan Land, but that is my wish. I have to let him know that he can only show me the results now, all the promising to change means nothing. I always told him I would move a mountain for him if he was living right but I would not help him go down the wrong road, How do I handle this and stick to my word? He is clean now because he is locked up. He says he wants to change, but he can't show that where he is. Do I totally detach and let him struggle when he gets out? Do I give a hand up so that he can have an option other than running to difficult child buddies to have somewhere to live? Do I give him the Canaan land info and a list of rehabs, shelters and say call me when your straight and then I will move the mountain for you? NOTHING I HAVE EVER DONE HAS MADE A DIFFERENCE!! I have never been able to detach until recently and need advice with this... Traci [/QUOTE]
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Hello my friends! I need advice....
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