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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 577409" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hi. I can very much relate to this. My son is still this way as a teenager!. From two on he couldn't be allowed to play any game that would get ramped up. No chase games even. He has never been allowed until recently to even watch Disney movies where there could be fighting. </p><p></p><p>Once incident when he was doing much better playing with others...and among a group of kids who really wanted to play with him and help, they did a tackle tag game. I warned them that it had to just be touch. But they got into it and eventually my son was beating the **** out of an older girl. Everyone got mad at him though I had warned him, he was so upset and saying sorry and ran into the little patch of woods near our pool. It was sad and maddening at the same time. THe kids finally went in themselves and said they understood and it was ok. I was lucky the girl's brother had autism and the younger two siblings also had serious mental health issues so she was really compassionate. </p><p></p><p>He can now play catch and such but has always had "adpative phy ed" in the schools ....nearly always one on one because not being able to play with other kids without getting carried away. </p><p></p><p>Much of this is sensory related. Have you ever had a sensory integration evaluation with occupational therapy? They can help him regulate his body if it is related to his needing to feel things more deeply and touch things iwth his mouth and hands etc. </p><p></p><p>He may have some autism spectrum issues even if he does not meet full criteria (it is a line in the sand, not all kids have the same and as time goes on you may see it impact him more). Many kids on the spectrum can do imaginative play but it is more like your son is doing.... (I taught in many autism classes and my son is on the spectrum....but of course I do not see your son so this is not any attempt to say this is his issue, okay?) Kids who are "higher functioning" on the spectrum often have good eye contact and can be very cuddly but as you said...ON THEIR TERMS. Their imaginative play is more imitative of what they see. Acting out scenarios and being fixated on higher interest things like super heros or trains or planets or whatever. When in structured settings they tend to do a little better because they are being guided through each step of an activity. So maybe a structured kind of daycare could be a support for him. You can have him evaluated through your early childhood school program and maybe get a placement all for free. </p><p></p><p>But still, the best bet would be to also do an independent evaluation both in terms of occupational therapy and maybe even with a speech language pathologist.....not because his speech/language is behind articulation or grammar wise but because you said he might not have the social language such as how to express himself and they can help evaluate his level of conversational skills. This takes a very experienced person so ask at any clinic you contact for someone who works with kids who have pragmatic language issues at preschool ages. </p><p></p><p>The results of these evaluations can help with a bigger evaluation called a neuropsychology evaluation. A neuropsychologist can help look at his whole history and development and behaviors and see if there is a possible over riding issue....or even smaller issues that add up to a problem. Their job looks at both developmental/neurobiological conditions and mental health conditions. </p><p></p><p>The trap these little guys get pushed into is being labeled as behavior problems when there may be a true reason that they just dont process the world as other people do. If we can get into their heads and figure out what skills they need to be successful it is a very different approach from sticker charts for good behavior that people assume they know but are choosing not to use. HUGE difference if you have to TEACH the behavior and reward small steps on the road. If he is differently wired that way, then sticker charts etc. can be a miserable confirmation to them of being "bad". </p><p></p><p>Glad you found us. I saw you posted on an old thread. If you dont see that a person has posted for a long time AND is not around here your post could get lost in the shuffle . so, it was great that you decided to post your own intro. WELCOME! Very glad to have you...... many many many of us have walked your road!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 577409, member: 12886"] Hi. I can very much relate to this. My son is still this way as a teenager!. From two on he couldn't be allowed to play any game that would get ramped up. No chase games even. He has never been allowed until recently to even watch Disney movies where there could be fighting. Once incident when he was doing much better playing with others...and among a group of kids who really wanted to play with him and help, they did a tackle tag game. I warned them that it had to just be touch. But they got into it and eventually my son was beating the **** out of an older girl. Everyone got mad at him though I had warned him, he was so upset and saying sorry and ran into the little patch of woods near our pool. It was sad and maddening at the same time. THe kids finally went in themselves and said they understood and it was ok. I was lucky the girl's brother had autism and the younger two siblings also had serious mental health issues so she was really compassionate. He can now play catch and such but has always had "adpative phy ed" in the schools ....nearly always one on one because not being able to play with other kids without getting carried away. Much of this is sensory related. Have you ever had a sensory integration evaluation with occupational therapy? They can help him regulate his body if it is related to his needing to feel things more deeply and touch things iwth his mouth and hands etc. He may have some autism spectrum issues even if he does not meet full criteria (it is a line in the sand, not all kids have the same and as time goes on you may see it impact him more). Many kids on the spectrum can do imaginative play but it is more like your son is doing.... (I taught in many autism classes and my son is on the spectrum....but of course I do not see your son so this is not any attempt to say this is his issue, okay?) Kids who are "higher functioning" on the spectrum often have good eye contact and can be very cuddly but as you said...ON THEIR TERMS. Their imaginative play is more imitative of what they see. Acting out scenarios and being fixated on higher interest things like super heros or trains or planets or whatever. When in structured settings they tend to do a little better because they are being guided through each step of an activity. So maybe a structured kind of daycare could be a support for him. You can have him evaluated through your early childhood school program and maybe get a placement all for free. But still, the best bet would be to also do an independent evaluation both in terms of occupational therapy and maybe even with a speech language pathologist.....not because his speech/language is behind articulation or grammar wise but because you said he might not have the social language such as how to express himself and they can help evaluate his level of conversational skills. This takes a very experienced person so ask at any clinic you contact for someone who works with kids who have pragmatic language issues at preschool ages. The results of these evaluations can help with a bigger evaluation called a neuropsychology evaluation. A neuropsychologist can help look at his whole history and development and behaviors and see if there is a possible over riding issue....or even smaller issues that add up to a problem. Their job looks at both developmental/neurobiological conditions and mental health conditions. The trap these little guys get pushed into is being labeled as behavior problems when there may be a true reason that they just dont process the world as other people do. If we can get into their heads and figure out what skills they need to be successful it is a very different approach from sticker charts for good behavior that people assume they know but are choosing not to use. HUGE difference if you have to TEACH the behavior and reward small steps on the road. If he is differently wired that way, then sticker charts etc. can be a miserable confirmation to them of being "bad". Glad you found us. I saw you posted on an old thread. If you dont see that a person has posted for a long time AND is not around here your post could get lost in the shuffle . so, it was great that you decided to post your own intro. WELCOME! Very glad to have you...... many many many of us have walked your road! [/QUOTE]
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