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Hello, update from my he**
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<blockquote data-quote="tpcmom" data-source="post: 67612" data-attributes="member: 114"><p>Thank you all for your kind words, I appreciate it.</p><p></p><p>I don't remember which sites I went to but the one I found seems really good:</p><p></p><p><a href="http://moms.memorial-of-love.net/" target="_blank">http://moms.memorial-of-love.net/</a></p><p></p><p>I'm not sure if I have it linked right or not.</p><p></p><p>I searched a lot of places, I don'r remember too much lately.</p><p></p><p>gottalovem you said in words what I feel, I have not had many happy days, every day I still cry. When I go to the supermarket I cry when I pick up his favorite snacks. I cry when I make dinner only putting 3 plates out, I cry all the time. Music I hear, just like you Janet, I heard that song! What, maybe 2 weeks ago, I cried and cried. I think I was at a store when I heard it on their radio.</p><p></p><p>As for b/f, well I told him before that I knew he cared and loved Tim and that we all grieve in our own way, but he feels that his pain is deeper than mine which boggles my mind and hurts my heart, he had no children so he could not possibly understand the pain a mother feels when something like this happens to their child. I'm very upset with him and it may be the end of our relationship. It doesn't seem like much more pain could cause what I am going thru anyway. It's almost like you cannot do more to me that could hurt any worse than what I feel now. With my job changes, b/f, cut my child support off, my oldest difficult child going thru these charges, etc. but these are nothing compared to losing Tim. I go day to day, seemingly ok, but inside I feel my insides churning and churning, and the tears wanted to flow and I hold it back, I go to the rest room and let it out or I could just be watching TV, and just start sobbing uncontrollably, it just overcomes you at anytime, anywhere. </p><p></p><p>And I thank you for all listening and just being there, because coming here, talking with my family and friends, is the only thing that is keeping me going. I would never have made it this far, and I am glad that I can keep getting up every morning and going thru the day no matter how bad it is and how bad my heart hurts because of my other sons.</p><p></p><p>Bette</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tpcmom, post: 67612, member: 114"] Thank you all for your kind words, I appreciate it. I don't remember which sites I went to but the one I found seems really good: [url="http://moms.memorial-of-love.net/"]http://moms.memorial-of-love.net/[/url] I'm not sure if I have it linked right or not. I searched a lot of places, I don'r remember too much lately. gottalovem you said in words what I feel, I have not had many happy days, every day I still cry. When I go to the supermarket I cry when I pick up his favorite snacks. I cry when I make dinner only putting 3 plates out, I cry all the time. Music I hear, just like you Janet, I heard that song! What, maybe 2 weeks ago, I cried and cried. I think I was at a store when I heard it on their radio. As for b/f, well I told him before that I knew he cared and loved Tim and that we all grieve in our own way, but he feels that his pain is deeper than mine which boggles my mind and hurts my heart, he had no children so he could not possibly understand the pain a mother feels when something like this happens to their child. I'm very upset with him and it may be the end of our relationship. It doesn't seem like much more pain could cause what I am going thru anyway. It's almost like you cannot do more to me that could hurt any worse than what I feel now. With my job changes, b/f, cut my child support off, my oldest difficult child going thru these charges, etc. but these are nothing compared to losing Tim. I go day to day, seemingly ok, but inside I feel my insides churning and churning, and the tears wanted to flow and I hold it back, I go to the rest room and let it out or I could just be watching TV, and just start sobbing uncontrollably, it just overcomes you at anytime, anywhere. And I thank you for all listening and just being there, because coming here, talking with my family and friends, is the only thing that is keeping me going. I would never have made it this far, and I am glad that I can keep getting up every morning and going thru the day no matter how bad it is and how bad my heart hurts because of my other sons. Bette [/QUOTE]
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