Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by SearchingForRainbows, Oct 4, 2007.

  1. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    "baby". He has to take this doll home for two nights. This assignment, in my humble opinion, is absolutely ridiculous for difficult child 2!!! Although he is 15 years old, socially, he is much, much younger. While teens his age are definitely thinking about sex, his thoughts range from whether or not to play with his monkey figurines or monkey puppet. So, while I believe that having to take care of a "baby" for 48 hours might make some teens stop and think before practicing unsafe sex or having any sex at all, it is a totally ridiculous assignment for difficult child 2.

    Asking him to put a crying "baby" before his own needs is asking for trouble. The only thing this assignment is going to accomplish is two sleepless nights for the rest of the household.

    difficult child 2 has so much anxiety around being perfect, that if he can't handle the crying "baby" in the middle of the night, and husband puts it outside in the trunk of the car, difficult child 2 will probably explode in a fit of rage because he'll get a bad grade on this health class assignment. We still won't get any sleep. Instead of listening to the crying "baby", we'll be dealing with difficult child 2 in a total "melt-down".

    I told husband that I want to call the health teacher or guidance counselor, explain the situation, and see if the assignment can be modified for difficult child 2. husband thinks we should let difficult child 2 bring home the doll.

    I'm in need of some advice. Do you think I should talk to the health teacher or his guidance counselor and see if this assignment can be modified for difficult child 2? Or, do you think we should let him bring it home and deal with our 48 hours of H-LL?

    I remember last year that another CD member went through this same H-LL with one of her difficult children. It was a miserable experience for her. I just don't see it as being a positive learning experience for difficult child 2. He is way too immature to deal with this.

    Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks! WFEN
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    For starters, do not allow husband to lock it in the car. You already know that it will trigger a meltdown.

    Secondly, if difficult child sees fear in you, he will absorb it. Let it happen. See how it goes. You may be surprised.

    It is to show him that babies are a lot of work. If he sees how bothersome it is, it will have served its purpose. Don't hesitate to assist. Let him know how hard this would be to do if it were a real baby.

    Good luck!
  3. WFEN,

    What a coincidence... Our difficult child brought one of those "babies" home yesterday. It's laying on the table behind me right now. difficult child thinks that it is really ridiculous. He had to call his Home Easy Child teacher last night at 12:00AM to report on his crying baby. Not that he isn't usually up at that time of night, but I was irritated that they expected him to stay up that late.

    I wish I had some suggestions for you on this one. We're just slogging through with it. difficult child named his "The Hulk". Honestly, it would really, really shock me to see difficult child get into a situation where the outcome could be a baby. Actually, I think it would make me really happy - because I don't think that there is ever a chance of that happening. This lesson is definitely not "one size fits all"!

    I'm really looking forward to the cooking and sewing portion of Home Easy Child. They've already had a mock wedding with invited guests. Very, very interesting class...
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I think maybe this will be an interesting experience for y'all.

    Good Luck!

  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Ugh, I have to say that when my difficult child brought it home, I didn't sleep the entire weekend. It was awful. difficult child's plan was to stick it in her closet, bury it with blankets and other stuff to smother the crying and then play her sound machine so SHE could sleep! Me, on the other hand, I was up with that pita 'baby' very often. I called the school on Monday AM and explained that with difficult child the way she is, the little recorder thing inside will definitely register neglect...cut difficult child some slack.

    I held that baby making dinner, eating, watching tv, everything - even in the bathroom. We all took turns holding the baby. difficult child thought the whole thing was a big fat joke.
  6. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I'm generally someone that thinks all kids should be exposed to the same standards as much as possible. You never know that if the expectation is set high enough, he may surprise everyone and do well.
    I don't believe that this is the situation with this particular assignment. You are already sensing increased anxiety on difficult child#2's part and having a disagreement with husband on how to proceed.
    I'd definitely ask that the assignment be modified.
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm with TM-I would ask for a modified assignment.
  8. Kjs

    Kjs Guest


    difficult child did that last year. OMG. It cried so much. First night only woke up once to eat and change and burp. But second night difficult child didn't wakeup and baby was right next to him. He had the only bracelet to activate it or make it shut up.

    We rocked him(boy). Soon as you stopped rocking he cried again. Cried most of the second night. Must support the head. It is very touchy. When difficult child returned it to school they did a computer printout. took good care I believe 98% of the time. but broke his neck 12 times. :smile:

    Enjoy :rofl:
  9. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kjs</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> When difficult child returned it to school they did a computer printout. took good care I believe 98% of the time. but broke his neck 12 times. :smile: </div></div>

    :smile: :rofl: Hahaha - Oh, that is funny!
  10. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think there are good reasons for this assignment and a weekend of missed sleep is acceptable to try to teach your child these life lessons/skills - and is much better than having that difficult children actual child crying in your house all the time.
  11. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Thankfully when difficult child 1 had this she was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC). She ended up setting the baby outside her door and said that she was giving it up for adoption that she wasn't ready to be a mom. I thought that was actually interesting.

    easy child is taking a child develpment class in her spring trimester. She decided to take the 2-6 year old class. She said that she chose it so she wouldn't have to deal with the baby. I told her that in real life that wasn't an option. She said I know I just don't have to do it now.

    And as for difficult child 2 the baby would be a bad choice at this point but that is because of his predator nature.
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My feelings on this assignment is that unless a difficult child is delayed, they should do it. We all think that our kids wont be thinking about having sex and getting pregnant but have you guys been paying attention to the number of us with difficult child's who have either had difficult child's who gave birth or had abortions in the past couple of years?

    I know there is a fairly large grandparents club on here not to mention the scares that take place rather often.

    If that baby makes one kid think its worth it. Now for my kid, he would be so good with the baby that he wouldnt blink an eye about having He wasnt in school when it was done but one of his friends had one and they couldnt get the blasted thing to be quiet so they brought it over for Cory to help with it and Cory tended it for hours and showed her how to take care of it...sigh.
  13. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    Thanks for all of the advice. After I asked you for help, husband told me that he actually changed his mind. He doesn't think difficult child 2 can handle the crying "baby" given his anxiety level. I told husband that I would call the guidance counselor and see what she has to say about this assignment.

    Then, this morning, difficult child 2 gave husband a contract that has to be signed by him and also by us before he can bring the "baby" home. In the contract it gives the amount of money we will have to pay to replace the crying baby or any of its accessories if difficult child 2 breaks them. The "baby" costs over $400!!! :smile: :surprise: The carseat was $79. And, if the diaper is destroyed, it is $18!!! What are these diapers made of anyway!!! :surprise:

    I finally was able to reach the guidance counselor this morning. I told her that husband and I don't think the assignment is appropriate for difficult child 2 on many levels. However, I told her that after difficult child 2 gave the contract to my husband this morning, taking the "baby" home is definitely not happening!!! I am positive that difficult child 2 would end up in a major "melt-down" after only being with the "baby" for a short while. And, I'm positive difficult child 2 would end up throwing it at the wall as hard as he could at some point. husband and I ARE NOT paying to replace the "baby" - END OF STORY.

    The guidance counselor said she understands the situation and will speak to difficult child 2's health teacher and have her give him a different assignment.

    I don't understand how the school can expect parents to replace such an expensive item. :grrr: WFEN
  14. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dammit Janet</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My feelings on this assignment is that unless a difficult child is delayed, they should do it. </div></div>

    Delayed in what way, Janet? It seems to me that the parents who have the most concern are the ones whose kids are delayed in social terms at least.

    And Kjs, your difficult child had to do it last year? He would have been only 11! What were they thinking?

    I am so glad that our government schools in Australia don't do this. Only some of our exclusive private schools, the ones who can afford the equipment. Most schools would prefer to spend the money on a new trampoline. I think there have been times when a kid has to look after an egg, working with another student - it gets the point across but is generally considered to be a pain in the neck and a joke, by both kids and parents. A dozen eggs is a lot cheaper than one doll, and will supply most of the class (one egg to two students).

    I know it would be most unsuitable for difficult child 3, with his extreme level of anxiety. And if it had been part of difficult child 1's curriculum - I don't even think he could handle it now, let alone when he was at school. And easy child 2/difficult child 2 wouldn't cope either, her anxiety is still too far out of control. And they're over 21!