confusedmummy
New Member
Hi everyone, am new here but this forum looked so positive and helpful that I felt I had to join!
I am a stay at home mom mum living in the UK and I have 2 lovely kids, a daughter aged 6 and a son aged 3 years 8 months. My little man has given me cause for concern for quite some time but having been buffed away by health visitors etc I had given up but things aren't right. Wondered if you could give me your opinions?
As I say, he is 3 years 8 months and until Xmas his behaviour was really troublesome. Tantrums, disobedient, you know all the usual stuff but to quite an extreme. I called the health visitor in and she went to his playschool to assess him for autism signs. She rang me to say he seemed absolutely fine there and could see no problem at all. The End!! I felt abandoned and left to get on with it all. I started to use some different techniques and after a while there was a definate shift of 'power' with me gaining the authority back and since Xmas things have been loads better. The tantrums have stopped, he is much more happy to oblige and generally a different kid. So whats the problem you say?
The one thing that he has always suffered from, and since the tantrums have stopped has become so much more noticeable, is his complete terror of being seperated from me. He has never been good with this even as a baby but it is intefering in day to day life now. His first day at playschool was a nightmare. I took him for 3 1 hour sessions beforehand where he was fine. On the actual day I took him, I settled him in well and then said I was going to go for a bit and come back and pick him up. Cue huge terrified meltdown. They told me to go and he would be fine, but I knew he wouldn't. I left and 40 mins later sure enough they phoned to say he was beyond consolation. No one could touch him, talk to him, distract him, nothing. All he would do is scream, cry and shout at anyone who tried to help. When I went to pick him up he was utterly distraught but calmed down very fast once I was there. I then had to stay 6 weeks full time before I left for 10 mins and gradually he became ok with it. In fact he loves it now. He needed to know the routine, people, environment etc. He is apparently absolutely fine there now and they have no issues.
We have had the same with his swimming lessons which I have had to give up with. He simply loses the plot because I can't come in with him (I sit at the side with him). Its totally irrational as he loves the water and when the teacher talks to him or tries to hold his hand he flips and acts like a rabbit blinded in headlights.
When he comes with me out and about and we bump into someone he is very shy/rude and refuses to say hello and cannot/will not answer any questions or hold a conversation with anyone.
He will not dress up in any form, even putting on 'new clothes' can freak him out and result in a meltdown. He is very reluctant to look in the mirror when his appearance doesn't look familiar.
Loud noises bother him, the blender, putting plates away that make a loud noise etc etc. Needs to tell me he loves me lots and is clearly delighted when he asks "am I happy?" and I reply yes. He is able to recognise different facial expressions and knows when he/someone is happy or sad etc. His speech is slower and not as clear as it should be but not of major concern. He throws random phrases out at us, usually copied off the TV or something and finds it almost impossible to tell me properly what he did at playschool today. He is an affectionate, generally happy little man but his complete lack of confidence in new situations and with new people is causing much heartache. He is due to start school in Sept 09 and as I see it no way is that going to happen with him like this.
He hit his milestones apart from speech, still wasn't talking very well at all at 2.5 years but excelled in the physical side. Rides a bike great, scooters on a two wheeled scooter, climbs, forward rolls you name it! Pencil control is not great but slowly coming.
Should I seek help from my GP and ask to be referred to a behaviour specialist or are there things I could/should be doing with him here?
So sorry for my long ramble, any advice is very much appreciated. X
I am a stay at home mom mum living in the UK and I have 2 lovely kids, a daughter aged 6 and a son aged 3 years 8 months. My little man has given me cause for concern for quite some time but having been buffed away by health visitors etc I had given up but things aren't right. Wondered if you could give me your opinions?
As I say, he is 3 years 8 months and until Xmas his behaviour was really troublesome. Tantrums, disobedient, you know all the usual stuff but to quite an extreme. I called the health visitor in and she went to his playschool to assess him for autism signs. She rang me to say he seemed absolutely fine there and could see no problem at all. The End!! I felt abandoned and left to get on with it all. I started to use some different techniques and after a while there was a definate shift of 'power' with me gaining the authority back and since Xmas things have been loads better. The tantrums have stopped, he is much more happy to oblige and generally a different kid. So whats the problem you say?
The one thing that he has always suffered from, and since the tantrums have stopped has become so much more noticeable, is his complete terror of being seperated from me. He has never been good with this even as a baby but it is intefering in day to day life now. His first day at playschool was a nightmare. I took him for 3 1 hour sessions beforehand where he was fine. On the actual day I took him, I settled him in well and then said I was going to go for a bit and come back and pick him up. Cue huge terrified meltdown. They told me to go and he would be fine, but I knew he wouldn't. I left and 40 mins later sure enough they phoned to say he was beyond consolation. No one could touch him, talk to him, distract him, nothing. All he would do is scream, cry and shout at anyone who tried to help. When I went to pick him up he was utterly distraught but calmed down very fast once I was there. I then had to stay 6 weeks full time before I left for 10 mins and gradually he became ok with it. In fact he loves it now. He needed to know the routine, people, environment etc. He is apparently absolutely fine there now and they have no issues.
We have had the same with his swimming lessons which I have had to give up with. He simply loses the plot because I can't come in with him (I sit at the side with him). Its totally irrational as he loves the water and when the teacher talks to him or tries to hold his hand he flips and acts like a rabbit blinded in headlights.
When he comes with me out and about and we bump into someone he is very shy/rude and refuses to say hello and cannot/will not answer any questions or hold a conversation with anyone.
He will not dress up in any form, even putting on 'new clothes' can freak him out and result in a meltdown. He is very reluctant to look in the mirror when his appearance doesn't look familiar.
Loud noises bother him, the blender, putting plates away that make a loud noise etc etc. Needs to tell me he loves me lots and is clearly delighted when he asks "am I happy?" and I reply yes. He is able to recognise different facial expressions and knows when he/someone is happy or sad etc. His speech is slower and not as clear as it should be but not of major concern. He throws random phrases out at us, usually copied off the TV or something and finds it almost impossible to tell me properly what he did at playschool today. He is an affectionate, generally happy little man but his complete lack of confidence in new situations and with new people is causing much heartache. He is due to start school in Sept 09 and as I see it no way is that going to happen with him like this.
He hit his milestones apart from speech, still wasn't talking very well at all at 2.5 years but excelled in the physical side. Rides a bike great, scooters on a two wheeled scooter, climbs, forward rolls you name it! Pencil control is not great but slowly coming.
Should I seek help from my GP and ask to be referred to a behaviour specialist or are there things I could/should be doing with him here?
So sorry for my long ramble, any advice is very much appreciated. X
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