aeroeng
Mom of Three
I'm looking for new ideas on how to handle potential explosions (learn from my mistakes). Last Friday, my difficult child and older easy child were playing computer Risk. Loud, but getting along. difficult child did not understand that if he did not take a country he would not get a territory card. He spent his turn fortifying the countries he already had. When the computer did not give him the territory card, he became very angry. This is his main problem: the inability to deal with frustrations. In a real game easy child might let him re-do the turn, but the computer won't. This got him bubbling. easy child quickly concurred the world and the game ended.
I grabbed both kids and headed home. In the car difficult child stated that when we get home he wanted to play again with younger easy child and difficult child teaming up against older easy child. When difficult child is bubbling he is very aggressive and damaging to younger easy child's self esteem. I took the plan A approach and told him "no" he was not allowed to play Risk with younger easy child. (Was a mistake, plan B might have worked. He wanted a 2 to 1 game, I wanted younger easy child left out. A solution could have been found). difficult child became angrier and angrier. He started turning on all the things in the car (radio, heater, air conditioner, lights). I turned of the inside lights and covered the switch with my hand. He grabbed my hand and tried to pull my fingers back. We both struggled, and I pulled the car over into a parking spot. I called husband and stated that I could not safely drive home. We waited and husband arrived. difficult child had taken off his seat belt and slid back down in his seat with his feet on the front window. He lightly kicked the widow. husband was concerned the widow would break grabbled difficult child and pulled him out of the car. They struggled and husband yelled for me to call 911.
Usually in this kind of situation difficult child is not capable of stopping regardless of the consequence. For the first time he did recognize that he did not want to accelerate the event. He said, "No I don't want the police, I will stop!" He was still mad, but did stop struggling. We got everyone home.
husband needed to leave. He is a ski patrol candidate and needed to go to the ski slopes for the pre-test. He took older easy child and left. I knew difficult child would take all weekend to calm down and would pick on younger easy child. So I made arrangements for younger easy child to stay at a neighbor's house for the weekend. Now it is only the two of us. He kept following me around. Turning on the lights, turning off the lights, what ever would annoy me. So I left, and went to a movie. When I came back the house was in order and difficult child was sleeping.
On Saturday morning he was still bubbling, and snarling. I went for a lovely walk around a near by lake (actually walked it twice). Came home difficult child snarled, but I could tell it was wearing off. He would say, "Please shut the door. No No I mean just shut the door." (Forgot the was mad and accidently added the "please" out of habit.)
I went and got the groceries. Came home difficult child had calmed down. In the afternoon we went to a school function. He behaved perfectly and we had a good time. By evening Saturday I was not feeling well. Slight fever, headache and the yucky's. difficult child became very motherly and took extra good care of me. (Made me wish I could be sick more often).
Now I think back and am trying to figure out what did I do right and what did I did wrong. How do I avoid the next one? How do I get out if I don't avoid it? We all know it is the parent's fault! (Said sarcastically). But if it's the parent's fault we can change it! give me ideas and help me learn how??
I grabbed both kids and headed home. In the car difficult child stated that when we get home he wanted to play again with younger easy child and difficult child teaming up against older easy child. When difficult child is bubbling he is very aggressive and damaging to younger easy child's self esteem. I took the plan A approach and told him "no" he was not allowed to play Risk with younger easy child. (Was a mistake, plan B might have worked. He wanted a 2 to 1 game, I wanted younger easy child left out. A solution could have been found). difficult child became angrier and angrier. He started turning on all the things in the car (radio, heater, air conditioner, lights). I turned of the inside lights and covered the switch with my hand. He grabbed my hand and tried to pull my fingers back. We both struggled, and I pulled the car over into a parking spot. I called husband and stated that I could not safely drive home. We waited and husband arrived. difficult child had taken off his seat belt and slid back down in his seat with his feet on the front window. He lightly kicked the widow. husband was concerned the widow would break grabbled difficult child and pulled him out of the car. They struggled and husband yelled for me to call 911.
Usually in this kind of situation difficult child is not capable of stopping regardless of the consequence. For the first time he did recognize that he did not want to accelerate the event. He said, "No I don't want the police, I will stop!" He was still mad, but did stop struggling. We got everyone home.
husband needed to leave. He is a ski patrol candidate and needed to go to the ski slopes for the pre-test. He took older easy child and left. I knew difficult child would take all weekend to calm down and would pick on younger easy child. So I made arrangements for younger easy child to stay at a neighbor's house for the weekend. Now it is only the two of us. He kept following me around. Turning on the lights, turning off the lights, what ever would annoy me. So I left, and went to a movie. When I came back the house was in order and difficult child was sleeping.
On Saturday morning he was still bubbling, and snarling. I went for a lovely walk around a near by lake (actually walked it twice). Came home difficult child snarled, but I could tell it was wearing off. He would say, "Please shut the door. No No I mean just shut the door." (Forgot the was mad and accidently added the "please" out of habit.)
I went and got the groceries. Came home difficult child had calmed down. In the afternoon we went to a school function. He behaved perfectly and we had a good time. By evening Saturday I was not feeling well. Slight fever, headache and the yucky's. difficult child became very motherly and took extra good care of me. (Made me wish I could be sick more often).
Now I think back and am trying to figure out what did I do right and what did I did wrong. How do I avoid the next one? How do I get out if I don't avoid it? We all know it is the parent's fault! (Said sarcastically). But if it's the parent's fault we can change it! give me ideas and help me learn how??
