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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 250800" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Reading what and how you and your husband and family handled the situation? I'm impressed!! Have to say GREAT job! </p><p> </p><p>You and hubby are on the same page - and have a plan. (call 911 if difficult child's behaviors escalate) difficult child sees this. (hence NO DO NOT CALL THE COPS)</p><p> </p><p>You recognized that he was boiling and how his meltdowns effect your other children, then got them out of the way. </p><p> </p><p>Your husband left - (dont blame him interview or not) and you dealt with difficult child - by ignoring the light on, light off thing. Isn't it interesting to see when they are angry what brings them out thinking it will really bother you? ugh.</p><p> </p><p>You took in a movie - and let him sleep - you did something to revive yourself in the middle of a tornado. Great! </p><p> </p><p>You came home, recognized that he was still bubbling, and took a walk or 2. At this point I'd be a marathon mom....lol. Then complimented him when he took care of you. </p><p> </p><p>In my opinion you did everything you could to de-escalate the situation, maintain safety for the other children, revived yourself, ignored obnoxious behaviors and rewarded him with a short term reward of attending the game. </p><p> </p><p>This is in fact teaching him coping skills to model. I used to HATE to see Dude attempt to play any game because even if we went over the directions? He wasn't listening, then when he felt jilted? OH brother did we all pay. Then like you, there was the meltdown. I did learn something that may help post game - and that was choices. After he blew up about the game despite loosing you compliment all the kids on something. You won - congratulations - YOU played very well, I liked your manners. Since you had the best manners - YOU get to choose - Front seat or back? </p><p></p><p>Little things like that which seemed insignifigant to us had to be learned. We think we're being good parents and saying nice things like - Better luck next time - but to a difficult child its' not. To say nothing at all allows him to fester. So giving him a choice makes his mind pick a WINNERS seat. he had the best manners -HE got to choose his seat. It sounds lame but to a difficult child - it's something of a prize. If he persists in bad behavior still in the car you could say "Okay let's sing a song" - Which to you choose? And then next song you let another child pick. It's like their brains keep score on attaboys. </p><p> </p><p>I think you handled the situation brilliantly - but you asked for a suggestion so there ya go.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 250800, member: 4964"] Reading what and how you and your husband and family handled the situation? I'm impressed!! Have to say GREAT job! You and hubby are on the same page - and have a plan. (call 911 if difficult child's behaviors escalate) difficult child sees this. (hence NO DO NOT CALL THE COPS) You recognized that he was boiling and how his meltdowns effect your other children, then got them out of the way. Your husband left - (dont blame him interview or not) and you dealt with difficult child - by ignoring the light on, light off thing. Isn't it interesting to see when they are angry what brings them out thinking it will really bother you? ugh. You took in a movie - and let him sleep - you did something to revive yourself in the middle of a tornado. Great! You came home, recognized that he was still bubbling, and took a walk or 2. At this point I'd be a marathon mom....lol. Then complimented him when he took care of you. In my opinion you did everything you could to de-escalate the situation, maintain safety for the other children, revived yourself, ignored obnoxious behaviors and rewarded him with a short term reward of attending the game. This is in fact teaching him coping skills to model. I used to HATE to see Dude attempt to play any game because even if we went over the directions? He wasn't listening, then when he felt jilted? OH brother did we all pay. Then like you, there was the meltdown. I did learn something that may help post game - and that was choices. After he blew up about the game despite loosing you compliment all the kids on something. You won - congratulations - YOU played very well, I liked your manners. Since you had the best manners - YOU get to choose - Front seat or back? Little things like that which seemed insignifigant to us had to be learned. We think we're being good parents and saying nice things like - Better luck next time - but to a difficult child its' not. To say nothing at all allows him to fester. So giving him a choice makes his mind pick a WINNERS seat. he had the best manners -HE got to choose his seat. It sounds lame but to a difficult child - it's something of a prize. If he persists in bad behavior still in the car you could say "Okay let's sing a song" - Which to you choose? And then next song you let another child pick. It's like their brains keep score on attaboys. I think you handled the situation brilliantly - but you asked for a suggestion so there ya go. [/QUOTE]
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