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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 567405" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>Hi TL,</p><p>First, I'm so sorry about your dog - that must've scared the living daylights out of you. When my difficult child was at his worst, my mind was so plagued with our issues, and I'm a very good (or lucky) driver, and haven't had but one accident. Well, I was lost in thought that day, and heartsick as usual. I came up my driveway and just crashed into the pillar between the 2 garages, and I can't believe it happened, to this day. I wasn't myself that day - having an SA son consumed me. When my easy child found out what happened, she begged me to see what all this business with difficult child was doing to me, when I thought I had it all under control. But a garage is just a garage...a dog is a member of the family. I hope you're both feeling better now.</p><p>Your son is at a crossroads, and you may be, as well. He's asking for help, but not the right kind. He wants people to rescue him from the situation he has put himself in, but on his own terms...not weed, alcohol intervention, but "give me stuff I didn't work for" intervention. He is disordered in his thinking, and it is very distressing. You are offering real help, but if he's not ready to accept it, what's the alternative? He is painting himself into a corner and you're doing all the right things: offering appropriate help, showing love and support. He is able bodied, but chooses not to work. If his mental issues prevent him from doing so, again, you're offering support to get him the help he needs. </p><p>He may be playing you a little, because you're probably the only one who is watching is FB posts so intently, and he knows, deep down that he can push your buttons. I don't know if you want to go this route, but would you consider leaving him a FB msg. that you're concerned about his welfare, you love him,you're offering appropriate help, but until he's ready to accept your offer, you are taking a break from looking at his page? He will know that you love him, but he cannot make you "eat your liver" over his frantic posts. </p><p></p><p>Of course he's going to be cold, hungry and lonely. He walked out of treatment. He said himself that he doesn't want to follow rules. His brand of freedom has unique consequences, and it is draining the joy out of you. Real freedom comes with all kinds of responsibility. You are strong and helpful, caring and loving. His issues are bigger than him, and bigger than you. Hang in there, TL, I hope he cries "uncle" real soon.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 567405, member: 13882"] Hi TL, First, I'm so sorry about your dog - that must've scared the living daylights out of you. When my difficult child was at his worst, my mind was so plagued with our issues, and I'm a very good (or lucky) driver, and haven't had but one accident. Well, I was lost in thought that day, and heartsick as usual. I came up my driveway and just crashed into the pillar between the 2 garages, and I can't believe it happened, to this day. I wasn't myself that day - having an SA son consumed me. When my easy child found out what happened, she begged me to see what all this business with difficult child was doing to me, when I thought I had it all under control. But a garage is just a garage...a dog is a member of the family. I hope you're both feeling better now. Your son is at a crossroads, and you may be, as well. He's asking for help, but not the right kind. He wants people to rescue him from the situation he has put himself in, but on his own terms...not weed, alcohol intervention, but "give me stuff I didn't work for" intervention. He is disordered in his thinking, and it is very distressing. You are offering real help, but if he's not ready to accept it, what's the alternative? He is painting himself into a corner and you're doing all the right things: offering appropriate help, showing love and support. He is able bodied, but chooses not to work. If his mental issues prevent him from doing so, again, you're offering support to get him the help he needs. He may be playing you a little, because you're probably the only one who is watching is FB posts so intently, and he knows, deep down that he can push your buttons. I don't know if you want to go this route, but would you consider leaving him a FB msg. that you're concerned about his welfare, you love him,you're offering appropriate help, but until he's ready to accept your offer, you are taking a break from looking at his page? He will know that you love him, but he cannot make you "eat your liver" over his frantic posts. Of course he's going to be cold, hungry and lonely. He walked out of treatment. He said himself that he doesn't want to follow rules. His brand of freedom has unique consequences, and it is draining the joy out of you. Real freedom comes with all kinds of responsibility. You are strong and helpful, caring and loving. His issues are bigger than him, and bigger than you. Hang in there, TL, I hope he cries "uncle" real soon. [/QUOTE]
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