I have a friend, N., who is a self-diagnosis'd bipolar. No medications. He used to write code for computers and had several really good computer jobs, but eventually things went in another direction and he now suffers from depression. I've researched a lot of this online and he certainly fits a lot of the description, eg., when he was earning big $ he bought a half doz racecars, hundreds of art prints and paintings, and generally dug himself into a financial hole. Very manic at that time. His wife is an engineer and a worker bee. She holds everything together. He stays home, does the laundry, makes dinner, and repairs things around the house. (In that sense, he's a househusband but I don't think I should tell him that, LOL!) Our kids go to the same school and his kids are what I call Baby Geniuses. He and his wife are brilliant, too. He is very funny, and very, very good at everything he does--in fact, if he can't do a perfect job, he won't even bother trying. We used to go out to lunch about once a wk, talk about our kids (they go to the same school), talk about art (he collects, and I create), exchange books (I finally found someone who reads as much as I do!) and mostly, just eat and eat, because his family hates Indian food and sushi as much as we love it. It's really hard to find people who like that kind of food! Generally, he fixes our computers, and I pay him back by buying him lunch. In fact, he totally created a special computer for difficult child that does not allow difficult child access to the disk drives, and has a very small graphics card so he can't play the games that make him go ballistic. After my breast cancer surgery, I insisted on doing murals (mostly for my mental health--I couldn't lie on the couch and stare at the ceiling for one more min.). I had limited motion in my arms, and N. came and moved the ladder for me (it was on a stairway with-3 landings, very awkward and very heavy), and he critiqued my work. husband was and is always at work, and won't look at anything until it's finished. He hates "the process" and is a linear thinker. (He keeps saying it's his German heritage.) Right now, I'm working on an Asian gallery show with-N, which is comprised totally from things from his collection. There are two components to it, ceramics and prints. The students who were supposed to help him have all fallen through (to my embarrassment, one was my easy child), but I've been very good about helping with-the prints, since I love that sort of thing, and it's easy enough to send emails at my convenience, and then he can edit and upload at his convenience. On top of it, he's in the middle of a computer architecture planning event that will probably last 2yrs, so he's got his plate full. He's getting really upset as the days go on, as anyone would under stress, but what does he do when he gets depressed? Sleep, of course. I understand that. But--this must be the bipolar part--he also stays up all night and watches an entire season of some TV series, or he plays video racing games, or generally does mindless things when he could be sleeping or working on his/our projects. So he messes up his daytime schedule, misses lunches, doesn't bathe for days (don't ask me how his wife and kids put up with-it) and sometimes I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I shouldn't "own" it that much, except that since we're on deadline with-this show, (it opens the 1st wk of Nov.) the whole thing is making me nervous. Okay, I'm projecting a bit of myself here, too. I have taken big strides with-my difficult child and my own emotions, I'm taking Effexor, going to counseling, all that. And he isn't doing anything for himself. On one hand, I'm impressed that he's so functional with-o medications, and on the other hand, it really ticks me off, because he could be taking medications, doing so much more, and helping his wife so much more. (For eg, their doorbell has been broken all summer.) She never complains in front of people, much to her credit. She just dives in and gets to work. But she's very serious and intense and I wonder how much is her normal personality and how much is dealing with-him. I would like some insight into all of this. I've never known anyone quite like this b4. How much accountability should I expect from someone like this? The only time I've actually lit off on him was when he slept late and totally forgot we were supposed to have lunch. I am hypoglycemic and have to eat every 3 hrs. If I don't eat, my fangs come out! He was very apologetic. I am frustrated because I can't really plan ahead, and with-this show, it's all about planning. Help! Oh, one more thing --he does bring in income by selling some of the old cars and car parts he used to collect. It's pretty amazing, really--he can sell one collector car every 2 yrs, and pay off the kids' tuition, pay bills, etc., in one fell swoop. But he gets so uptight about the negotiation with-the sale that he's pretty much out of commission for a wk afterward, and he'll sleep and read and go incommunicado until he's ready to greet the world again.