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Help with homework issue
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 431330" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I have a couple of things on this subject. First, not to be argumentative, but in the area of the country that I live in, the word "tree" CAN be a verb. It is used when someone/something is chased up a tree, usually by an animal. As in the sentence, "My dog spent last night treeing squirrels." or "That mutt treed my cat for the last time yesterday!". I do not know if this is what your son had in mind, but to give him the benefit of the doubt, here in OK it CAN be a verb. </p><p></p><p>Chances are he was NOT thinking of that though. Have you stopped to think about WHY this is such a hot button for you? I am NOT throwing stones - it was a huge hot button for me but our schools don't give homework other than spelling words and reading for twenty minutes a night until middle school. My kids have always chosen to read at least an hour a day on their own (other than rent and food and utilities, books are usually the single biggest item in our budget - and we rarely buy new ones!) and none of my kids ever needed to do much more than read over the spelling list, so homework is always a shock in middle school. But to me, homework was super important. It was a chance to show what you know and get an easy A. Wiz NEVER saw it that way.</p><p></p><p>Many of us have to accept that if school does not give a sh** then there is NO way to get our kids to care. I hated the way some teachers felt that the district guideline of 1 hr of homework per night for middle and jr high grades meant that EACH teacher should give that much homework. Kids spend at least 8 hrs at school, many sleep 8 hrs and that leaves 8 hrs for transportation, homework, activities, and family time. Of COURSE family time is what school and coaches don't care about, so often they try to fill those hours also. I have ALWAYS resented that, both as a student and as a parent. It is a major reason we limit the kids to one after school activity. </p><p></p><p>WHAT is your child getting from homework? He clearly knows that you are the ONLY one who cares what is written down. SO mostly it is just a battleground. Is it really worth ruining the evening to battle of whether his closet is near his bed? Consider the stress many of our kids are under at school. They are different. Everyone knows it - and they are invariably teased about it. Regardless of how they handle teasing, kids are cruel and many teachers simply close their eyes to it unless something really outrageous happens. Plus the socially aware kids know to save the meanness for times when the teacher is not paying attention. so our kids struggle to learn, to fit in, to do everything in an intense pressure cooker all day. Then they come home - and often fall apart. Homework is usually NOT going to teach them anything except that the torture doesn't end when you come home. Think back to your WORST year in school. Then figure that your child is like that or worse every single day. Think about what they are supposed to learn from an assignment that no one bothers to even look at as long as something is written down. in my opinion no one expects them to really do the work, it is just a waste of time as far as learning is considered. Kids are trained to worry about what is on the test - it is how schools are now set up. So there is no learning for learning sake. Add that to the mental and emotional overload our kids are on after a day of school and there is little hope for peaceful homework.</p><p></p><p>Consider if your relationship with your child is worth trashing over assignments taht clearly his school does not give a sh** about. Or is it a better idea to let him do as he pleases with it, and save the battling for issues that will matter in the long run? Clearly homework doesn't matter to school, even in the short run. I am all for supporting education, but not busywork given for no real learning purpose. Why not save the fight and use the time/energy to read a book outloud to each other. You read a paragraph, he reads one. Or you read it all. I recommend "Zombie Butts from Uranus" for kids his age. They are a RIOT and totally on the right age level - and far more interesting than those awful Captain underpants books!! Or get a book on CD and listen to it while you snuggle or fix dinner together. Your relationship will improve and you will save the fighting for issues you can make a difference on. Homework is NOT going to matter as long as no one else at school cares. Or get his IEP changed to read that he does NOT have homework at all. MANY of us do this because it isn't reasonable to expect ten hours of work out of a kid with our kids' problems. They struggle enough with-o the added battles that serve no purpose.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 431330, member: 1233"] I have a couple of things on this subject. First, not to be argumentative, but in the area of the country that I live in, the word "tree" CAN be a verb. It is used when someone/something is chased up a tree, usually by an animal. As in the sentence, "My dog spent last night treeing squirrels." or "That mutt treed my cat for the last time yesterday!". I do not know if this is what your son had in mind, but to give him the benefit of the doubt, here in OK it CAN be a verb. Chances are he was NOT thinking of that though. Have you stopped to think about WHY this is such a hot button for you? I am NOT throwing stones - it was a huge hot button for me but our schools don't give homework other than spelling words and reading for twenty minutes a night until middle school. My kids have always chosen to read at least an hour a day on their own (other than rent and food and utilities, books are usually the single biggest item in our budget - and we rarely buy new ones!) and none of my kids ever needed to do much more than read over the spelling list, so homework is always a shock in middle school. But to me, homework was super important. It was a chance to show what you know and get an easy A. Wiz NEVER saw it that way. Many of us have to accept that if school does not give a sh** then there is NO way to get our kids to care. I hated the way some teachers felt that the district guideline of 1 hr of homework per night for middle and jr high grades meant that EACH teacher should give that much homework. Kids spend at least 8 hrs at school, many sleep 8 hrs and that leaves 8 hrs for transportation, homework, activities, and family time. Of COURSE family time is what school and coaches don't care about, so often they try to fill those hours also. I have ALWAYS resented that, both as a student and as a parent. It is a major reason we limit the kids to one after school activity. WHAT is your child getting from homework? He clearly knows that you are the ONLY one who cares what is written down. SO mostly it is just a battleground. Is it really worth ruining the evening to battle of whether his closet is near his bed? Consider the stress many of our kids are under at school. They are different. Everyone knows it - and they are invariably teased about it. Regardless of how they handle teasing, kids are cruel and many teachers simply close their eyes to it unless something really outrageous happens. Plus the socially aware kids know to save the meanness for times when the teacher is not paying attention. so our kids struggle to learn, to fit in, to do everything in an intense pressure cooker all day. Then they come home - and often fall apart. Homework is usually NOT going to teach them anything except that the torture doesn't end when you come home. Think back to your WORST year in school. Then figure that your child is like that or worse every single day. Think about what they are supposed to learn from an assignment that no one bothers to even look at as long as something is written down. in my opinion no one expects them to really do the work, it is just a waste of time as far as learning is considered. Kids are trained to worry about what is on the test - it is how schools are now set up. So there is no learning for learning sake. Add that to the mental and emotional overload our kids are on after a day of school and there is little hope for peaceful homework. Consider if your relationship with your child is worth trashing over assignments taht clearly his school does not give a sh** about. Or is it a better idea to let him do as he pleases with it, and save the battling for issues that will matter in the long run? Clearly homework doesn't matter to school, even in the short run. I am all for supporting education, but not busywork given for no real learning purpose. Why not save the fight and use the time/energy to read a book outloud to each other. You read a paragraph, he reads one. Or you read it all. I recommend "Zombie Butts from Uranus" for kids his age. They are a RIOT and totally on the right age level - and far more interesting than those awful Captain underpants books!! Or get a book on CD and listen to it while you snuggle or fix dinner together. Your relationship will improve and you will save the fighting for issues you can make a difference on. Homework is NOT going to matter as long as no one else at school cares. Or get his IEP changed to read that he does NOT have homework at all. MANY of us do this because it isn't reasonable to expect ten hours of work out of a kid with our kids' problems. They struggle enough with-o the added battles that serve no purpose. [/QUOTE]
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