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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 139699" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>Thanks, Witz and Stands.</p><p></p><p>This license thing has been an issue with difficult child since the last time we paid everything off and he refused to do that last little step of actually getting the license. He chose to drive without it (you know how they get that attitude about how legal things don't apply to them).</p><p></p><p>Of course, driving without a license, whether you qualify for one or not, can get you a fine. Not paying the fine can get your license, whether you officially have one or not, revoked.</p><p></p><p>And on and on it goes.</p><p></p><p>Current fine is due to driving without the license that he might have had, and then, not addressing the legal issues attending that decision.</p><p></p><p>We discussed that with difficult child the other night ~that he couldn't have flown without a license or ID, whether we were willing to pay the expense of the trip for him or not.</p><p></p><p>We talked too, about the need for these things to be resolved if he hopes to fly home in June.</p><p></p><p>Know what he said?</p><p></p><p>He doesn't know why we think he would ever want to return to where he is living now, once he is home again.</p><p></p><p>What we have decided is just to tell the truth.</p><p></p><p>Funny how hard it can be to do that, sometimes.</p><p></p><p>We are going to start now telling difficult child that he cannot live with us, that he cannot stay with us longer than one week, and that if he does not have the things he needs to make a go of it once he gets back up North (money, which will indicate that he has been working and taking care of business, and a job ~ which I think he could so easily get, working where he worked before, as he is quite good at what he does, and has remarkably loyal friends), we will take that as evidence that he is still more interested in drugs than family.</p><p></p><p>In that case, round trip ticket and nothing more.</p><p></p><p>And that we love him too much to watch him destroy himself ~ which is the truest thing we can say to our children if they are living the lifestyle that attends addiction.</p><p></p><p>Not so easy to do that, though.</p><p></p><p>Except maybe it is.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 139699, member: 1721"] Thanks, Witz and Stands. This license thing has been an issue with difficult child since the last time we paid everything off and he refused to do that last little step of actually getting the license. He chose to drive without it (you know how they get that attitude about how legal things don't apply to them). Of course, driving without a license, whether you qualify for one or not, can get you a fine. Not paying the fine can get your license, whether you officially have one or not, revoked. And on and on it goes. Current fine is due to driving without the license that he might have had, and then, not addressing the legal issues attending that decision. We discussed that with difficult child the other night ~that he couldn't have flown without a license or ID, whether we were willing to pay the expense of the trip for him or not. We talked too, about the need for these things to be resolved if he hopes to fly home in June. Know what he said? He doesn't know why we think he would ever want to return to where he is living now, once he is home again. What we have decided is just to tell the truth. Funny how hard it can be to do that, sometimes. We are going to start now telling difficult child that he cannot live with us, that he cannot stay with us longer than one week, and that if he does not have the things he needs to make a go of it once he gets back up North (money, which will indicate that he has been working and taking care of business, and a job ~ which I think he could so easily get, working where he worked before, as he is quite good at what he does, and has remarkably loyal friends), we will take that as evidence that he is still more interested in drugs than family. In that case, round trip ticket and nothing more. And that we love him too much to watch him destroy himself ~ which is the truest thing we can say to our children if they are living the lifestyle that attends addiction. Not so easy to do that, though. Except maybe it is. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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