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Here come bad feelings
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 347271" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>In hind sight....? </p><p></p><p>I would and did spend the last prior to 'welcome home' moments of peace - enjoying my own pleasures, writing rules and consequences, posting the rules, putting locks on everything (lotta good that did - he can get into almost anything with a broken CD or DVD) so get hasp hinges and master locks with one set of keys that you keep on your person. Then go over the rules, stick to them and have a plan B without telling him what it is. </p><p></p><p>ALL the things that are in his room now that you don't like that peeve you off? WRITE THEM ON YOUR LIST OF YOUR HOUSE RULES NOW. </p><p></p><p>No drinks, no food, no holes on the wall - laundry once a week - etc....etc.....etc. </p><p>Outline the consequences very clearly- THIS is the time to do this BECAUSE - where heis at now? Has rules and consequences and they are written out clearly and understood. Period. The transition will be easier for him and less hassle for you both if he understands from the get go that ( not that it WILL NOT BE) but that it CAN NOT BE like it was before. HUGE difference. </p><p></p><p>I would also start with NOTHING will be done for you. Teens respond better to shorter verbal commands. </p><p></p><p>The rage, the resentment? Really normal klmno....really. I STILL have bouts of it. Sigh - STILL. And I"m still patching holes. STILL. I think Georgia Pacific should send ME a rebate or give ME a job. Seriously. I've bought enough of their junk over the years. </p><p></p><p>Hugs - Yaint ALONE.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 347271, member: 4964"] In hind sight....? I would and did spend the last prior to 'welcome home' moments of peace - enjoying my own pleasures, writing rules and consequences, posting the rules, putting locks on everything (lotta good that did - he can get into almost anything with a broken CD or DVD) so get hasp hinges and master locks with one set of keys that you keep on your person. Then go over the rules, stick to them and have a plan B without telling him what it is. ALL the things that are in his room now that you don't like that peeve you off? WRITE THEM ON YOUR LIST OF YOUR HOUSE RULES NOW. No drinks, no food, no holes on the wall - laundry once a week - etc....etc.....etc. Outline the consequences very clearly- THIS is the time to do this BECAUSE - where heis at now? Has rules and consequences and they are written out clearly and understood. Period. The transition will be easier for him and less hassle for you both if he understands from the get go that ( not that it WILL NOT BE) but that it CAN NOT BE like it was before. HUGE difference. I would also start with NOTHING will be done for you. Teens respond better to shorter verbal commands. The rage, the resentment? Really normal klmno....really. I STILL have bouts of it. Sigh - STILL. And I"m still patching holes. STILL. I think Georgia Pacific should send ME a rebate or give ME a job. Seriously. I've bought enough of their junk over the years. Hugs - Yaint ALONE. [/QUOTE]
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