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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 347295" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Thank you- all of you! Crazy and Star- you had me chuckling quite a bit! And Star, that link and info you sent me before about repairing and patching drywall is on my hardrive now- it will be used as soon as I can afford it and difficult child WILL be helping. </p><p></p><p>I had started writeing my lists of expectations, and so for th which I posted on General. Many replied that it was too complicated, long, and demanding. I think it was useful for me even if it's never printed out and given to difficult child. It establishes my limits, I think, in a way so I can think rationally about what is a major issue and what's an issue I can/should deal with just between us- as in grounding or so forth. Not- that I'm nnot tweaking it- I have decided to hold off on opportunity for him to earn an allowance., as an example.</p><p></p><p>by the way- it's the huge hole in my bedroom door that really gets to me.</p><p></p><p>As far as rules for difficult child being kept simple- no violence, disprespect, stealing or SNEAKING. I finally realized that it was difficult child trying to sneak and break rules/laws that left the biggest amopunt of mistrust. The things he feels I took away from him that are unreasonable- they were all taken away because not only did he break the rules, he snuck and did it. Prime example- he lost his privilege with his cell phone (pay as you go) 2 years ago, after begging for one. Went out and wouldn't answer phone half the time, lied about where he was if he did answer phone, and didn't come home on time. Loses cell phone for certain period of time- but has opportunity to earn it back. Didn't do what it took to earn it back- loses it for undertermined amount of time. Steals mine that was issued to me from employer, racks up hundreds of dollars on their bill texting and downloading. I find out when employer confronts me with it. Am I EVER buying this kid a cell phone? Probably not. He wants me to now act like I'm a parent of a typical teen? Then it won't come fast and easy- he has to show me that he won't sneak and do stuff with strict rules. Sorry- but if he can handle the rules in Department of Juvenile Justice without flipping out- he can handle these.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 347295, member: 3699"] Thank you- all of you! Crazy and Star- you had me chuckling quite a bit! And Star, that link and info you sent me before about repairing and patching drywall is on my hardrive now- it will be used as soon as I can afford it and difficult child WILL be helping. I had started writeing my lists of expectations, and so for th which I posted on General. Many replied that it was too complicated, long, and demanding. I think it was useful for me even if it's never printed out and given to difficult child. It establishes my limits, I think, in a way so I can think rationally about what is a major issue and what's an issue I can/should deal with just between us- as in grounding or so forth. Not- that I'm nnot tweaking it- I have decided to hold off on opportunity for him to earn an allowance., as an example. by the way- it's the huge hole in my bedroom door that really gets to me. As far as rules for difficult child being kept simple- no violence, disprespect, stealing or SNEAKING. I finally realized that it was difficult child trying to sneak and break rules/laws that left the biggest amopunt of mistrust. The things he feels I took away from him that are unreasonable- they were all taken away because not only did he break the rules, he snuck and did it. Prime example- he lost his privilege with his cell phone (pay as you go) 2 years ago, after begging for one. Went out and wouldn't answer phone half the time, lied about where he was if he did answer phone, and didn't come home on time. Loses cell phone for certain period of time- but has opportunity to earn it back. Didn't do what it took to earn it back- loses it for undertermined amount of time. Steals mine that was issued to me from employer, racks up hundreds of dollars on their bill texting and downloading. I find out when employer confronts me with it. Am I EVER buying this kid a cell phone? Probably not. He wants me to now act like I'm a parent of a typical teen? Then it won't come fast and easy- he has to show me that he won't sneak and do stuff with strict rules. Sorry- but if he can handle the rules in Department of Juvenile Justice without flipping out- he can handle these. [/QUOTE]
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