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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 347316" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>klmno - I have a different take on this. Remember - take what you can use and ditch the rest. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> </p><p></p><p>I would clean the room from top to bottom. He's been gone quite a while and the idea is for him to make a new start. Making him come home and clean up the mess he left so long ago.... well, it just doesn't seem to me to be promoting the idea of a new start. Just MHO.</p><p></p><p>What's done is done. He is hopefully a different kid. *Hopefully* he's learned the value of what you provide him and will respect it. Walking into his wrecked room, even though he is the one who wrecked it, just doesn't seem right to me. Yes, logical consequences would be that he should have cleaned it up, but he got a much heavier logical consequence for his choices than simply room cleaning. </p><p></p><p>I understand the anger and resentment rebuilding as you clean up the mess. We spent a decade watching a TV that had a major chunk out of its exterior casing, courtesy of one of thank you's rages. Boo's room was missing a door for years because thank you literally shredded it (gotta love those hollow doors). But I think that fixing the damage and cleaning up the mess as best you can will be a gift for both yourself and difficult child. He starts off with a clean slate and you get to throw all that junk away, hopefully figuratively as well as literally.</p><p></p><p>I don't know - maybe I'm going soft in my old age, but I think if the idea is for difficult child to start fresh and stick to the program, it might be more helpful for him to not start off in the mess that he left.</p><p></p><p>Again, just my opinion. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 347316, member: 8"] klmno - I have a different take on this. Remember - take what you can use and ditch the rest. ;) I would clean the room from top to bottom. He's been gone quite a while and the idea is for him to make a new start. Making him come home and clean up the mess he left so long ago.... well, it just doesn't seem to me to be promoting the idea of a new start. Just MHO. What's done is done. He is hopefully a different kid. *Hopefully* he's learned the value of what you provide him and will respect it. Walking into his wrecked room, even though he is the one who wrecked it, just doesn't seem right to me. Yes, logical consequences would be that he should have cleaned it up, but he got a much heavier logical consequence for his choices than simply room cleaning. I understand the anger and resentment rebuilding as you clean up the mess. We spent a decade watching a TV that had a major chunk out of its exterior casing, courtesy of one of thank you's rages. Boo's room was missing a door for years because thank you literally shredded it (gotta love those hollow doors). But I think that fixing the damage and cleaning up the mess as best you can will be a gift for both yourself and difficult child. He starts off with a clean slate and you get to throw all that junk away, hopefully figuratively as well as literally. I don't know - maybe I'm going soft in my old age, but I think if the idea is for difficult child to start fresh and stick to the program, it might be more helpful for him to not start off in the mess that he left. Again, just my opinion. ;) [/QUOTE]
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